Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions
Home Register FAQ
Go Back   Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions > Welcome > Socialize
Reload this Page what porno's would have you believe
Reply
 
Thread Tools Display Modes
Old 09-20-01   #1
ArSiNiK
beer 12fl.oz (355ml)
 
ArSiNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: redondo beach, ca
Posts: 29,624
ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
Credits: 28,466
what porno's would have you believe

what porno's would have you believe:

1. Women wear high heels to bed.

2. Men are never impotent.

3. When going down on a woman 10 seconds is more than satisfactory.

4. If a woman gets busted masturbating by a strange man, she will not scream with embarrassment, but rather insist he have sex with her.

5. Women smile appreciatively when men cum on their face.

6. Women enjoy having sex with ugly, middle-aged men.

7. Women moan uncontrollably when giving a blowjob.

8. Women always orgasm when men do.

9. A blowjob will always get a woman off a speeding ticket.

10. All women are noisy fucks.

11. People in the 70's couldn't fuck unless there was a wild guitar solo in the background.

12. Those tits are real.

13. A common and enjoyable sexual practice for a man is to take his half-erect penis and slap it repeatedly on a woman's butt.

14. Men always groan "OH YEAH!" when they cum.

15. If there is two of them they "high five" each other (and the girl isn't disgusted!)

16. Double penetration makes women smile.

7. Asian men don't exist.

18. If you come across a guy and his girlfriend having sex in the bushes,the boyfriend won't bash seven shades of shit out of you if you shove your cock in his girlfriend's mouth.

19. There's a plot.

20. When taking a woman from behind, a man can really excite a woman by giving her a gentle slap on the butt.

21. Nurses suck patients cocks.

22. Men always pull out.

23. When your girlfriend busts you getting head from her best friend, she'll only be momentarily pissed off before fucking the both of you.

24. Women never have headaches... or periods.

25. When a woman is sucking a man's cock, it's important for him to remind her to "suck it".

26. Assholes are clean.

27. A man ejaculating on a woman's butt is a satisfying result for all parties concerned.

28. Women always look pleasantly surprised when they open a man's trousers and find a cock there.

29. Men don't have to beg.

30. When standing during a blowjob, a man will always place one hand firmly on the back of the kneeling woman's head and the other proudly on his hip.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-20-01   #2
Duddy
Bacon
 
Duddy's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Baltimore, MD
Posts: 8,029
Duddy
Credits: 128,079
I've read this before somewhere.....I still find it hilarious.
__________________
Heyoooooooooooo
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #3
Pyrric Dicktory
fuck off
 
Pyrric Dicktory's Avatar
 
Join Date: Mar 2001
Posts: 7,746
Pyrric Dicktory is on a distinguished road
Credits: 86,393
'tis true. you grow up learning sex through porn and then you finally undergo the grueling expenditour of energy and figure its nothing more the aerobic masterbation.

maybe i just havnt met the right girl....:ducks the smack from xbeautyx
__________________
Im so in love of my baby girl
Christel i love you sweetheart u are the light of my life today and always.

JUST ME AND YOU FOREVER.............................
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #4
ArSiNiK
beer 12fl.oz (355ml)
 
ArSiNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: redondo beach, ca
Posts: 29,624
ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
Credits: 28,466
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrric Dicktory
its nothing more the aerobic masterbation. maybe i just havnt met the right girl...
if all you're getting out of sex is aerobic masturbation, then maybe you need to pick up a kama sutra book... or start bringing in farm animals.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #5
midnightsorrow
Fuck-Happy Fox Creature
 
midnightsorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
*chokes and sputters*
This list is so bad yet so damn true.
I still can't stop laughing.
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #6
Duchess Nocturn
Cunning Linguist
 
Duchess Nocturn's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Boston, MA, 02215
Posts: 7,520
Duchess Nocturn
Credits: 127,114
Quote:
Originally posted by Pyrric Dicktory
'tis true. you grow up learning sex through porn
Speak for yourself!!!

I found it as funny as one could without ever having seen a pornographic movie.
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.

I fucked Vincent Price
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-21-01   #7
midnightsorrow
Fuck-Happy Fox Creature
 
midnightsorrow's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jun 2001
Location: Lost in sweet dreams of surrender,embraced by fate, tracking down death
Posts: 6,847
midnightsorrow is on a distinguished road
Credits: 167,155
You forgot one Arsinik--
Porno would like you to believe that women dress up for phone sex.
__________________

". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-24-01   #8
Vashti
damn sexy
 
Vashti's Avatar
 
Join Date: Jan 2001
Location: here
Posts: 572
Vashti is on a distinguished road
Credits: 8,360
that was quite hilarious
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-25-01   #9
thumbs101
拥抱崇拜吸毒者
 
thumbs101's Avatar
 
Join Date: Aug 2001
Location: not where I want to be
Posts: 7,974
thumbs101 is on a distinguished road
Credits: 69,223
that was funny, I'm still laughing. This is a good one arsinik
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-01   #10
ArSiNiK
beer 12fl.oz (355ml)
 
ArSiNiK's Avatar
 
Join Date: Apr 2001
Location: redondo beach, ca
Posts: 29,624
ArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these partsArSiNiK is infamous around these parts
Credits: 28,466
yeah, i thought it was pretty funny too...
__________________

To view links or images in signatures your post count must be 10 or greater. You currently have 0 posts.
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Old 09-26-01   #11
Stitch
Face in the Mist
 
Stitch's Avatar
 
Join Date: Sep 2001
Location: Hell AKA Sacrmento
Posts: 10
Stitch
Credits: 1,400
hahaha

OK... man I could see ALL of those happening in my mind! Either those are really well thought out or I watch too much porn! Prolly the last one though:metalhead
__________________
Who lit your tampon string?

You, off my planet!
is Offline   Reply With Quote
Reply


Thread Tools
Display Modes

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off


Recent Threads
sup oezoem we mished you
2 Days Ago 22:02
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Days Ago 00:19
Hey fr0g
10-20-17 02:49
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Days Ago 21:47
Fuck Snow
5 Days Ago 03:36
Last post by Sic Simon
2 Days Ago 21:46
Science Disproves...
11-01-10 15:38
by Pahu
Last post by Pahu
3 Days Ago 10:04
What Are you Listening...
03-21-05 07:40
By Cucking Funt
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Days Ago 21:32
are you gonna eat your...
11-01-17 01:43
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 03:45
Things that I'm not...
10-30-05 21:09
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 00:51
basic earthling rights
07-17-14 22:08
Last post by Sic Simon
1 Week Ago 22:11
Where are the tits?
3 Weeks Ago 20:38
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 21:33
Obama sends a letter.
10-19-17 22:42
Last post by Sic Simon
3 Weeks Ago 14:09
Online Users: 57
0 members and 57 guests
No Members online
Most users ever online was 1928, 06-09-15 at 19:20.
Powered by vBadvanced CMPS v3.0 RC2


Powered by vBulletin® Version 3.8.1
Copyright ©2000 - 2017, Jelsoft Enterprises Ltd.
vBulletin Skin developed by: vBStyles.com

© 2006 - 2016 Dark Forum | About Dark Forum | Advertisers | Investors | Legal | A member of the Crowdgather Forum Community