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Old 08-18-01   #1
Spikess
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funny......no really!

Subject: Amusing and quite possibly true
> > >
> > > One thing that has always bugged me, and I'm sure it does most of you, is
> > > to sit down at the dinner table only to be interrupted by a phone call
> > > from a telemarketer. I decided, on one such occasion, to try to be as
> > > irritating as they were to me. The call was from AT&T and it went
> > > something like this:
> > > Me: Hello
> > > AT&T: Hello, this is AT&T...
> > > Me: Is this AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Yes, this is AT&T...
> > > Me: This is AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Yes This is AT&T...
> > > Me: Is this AT&T?
> > > AT&T: YES! This is AT&T, may I speak to Mr. Byron please?
> > > Me: May I ask who is calling?
> > > AT&T: This is AT&T.
> > > Me: OK, hold on.
> > > At this point I put the phone down for a solid 5 minutes thinking that,
> > > surely, this person would have hung up the phone. Much to my surprise,
> > > when I picked up the receiver, they were still waiting.
> > > Me: Hello?
> > > AT&T: Is this Mr. Byron?
> > > Me: May I ask who is calling please?
> > > AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
> > > Me: Is this AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Yes this is AT&T...
> > > Me: This is AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Yes, is this Mr. Byron?
> > > Me: Yes, is this AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Yes sir.
> > > Me: The phone company?
> > > AT&T: Yes sir.
> > > Me: I thought you said this was AT&T.
> > > AT&T: Yes sir, we are a phone company.
> > > Me: I already have a phone.
> > > AT&T: We aren't selling phones today Mr. Byron.
> > > Me: Well whatever it is, I'm really not interested but thanks for calling.
> > >
> > > When you are not interested in something, I don't think you can express
> > > yourself any plainer than by saying "I'm really not interested", but this
> > > lady was persistent.
> > > AT&T: Mr. Byron we would like to offer you 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a
> > > day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.
> > > Now, I am sure she meant she was offering a "rate" of 10 cents a minute
> > > but she at no time used the word rate. I could clearly see that it was
> > > time to whip out the trusty old calculator and do a little ciphering.
> > > Me: Now, that's 10 cents a minute 24 hours a day?
> > > AT&T: (getting a little excited at this point by my interest) Yes sir
> > > that's right! 24 hours a day!
> > > Me: 7 days a week?
> > > AT&T: That's right.
> > > Me: 365 days a year?
> > > AT&T: Yes sir.
> > > Me: I am definitely interested in that! Wow!!! That's amazing!
> > > AT&T: We think so!
> > > Me: That's quite a sum of money!
> > > AT&T: Yes sir, it's amazing how it adds up.
> > > Me: OK, so will you send me checks weekly, monthly or just one big one at
> > > the end of the year for the full $52,560, and if you send an annual check,
> > > can I get a cash advance?
> > > AT&T: Excuse me?
> > > Me: You know, the 10 cents a minute.
> > > AT&T: What are you talking about?
> > > Me: You said you'd give me 10 cents a minute, 24 hours a day, 7 days a
> > > week, 365 days a year. That comes to $144 per day, $1008 per week and
> > > $52,560 per year. I'm just interested in knowing how you will be making
> > > payment.
> > > AT&T: Oh no sir I didn't mean we'd be paying you. You pay us 10 cents a
> > > minute.
> > > Me: Wait a minute here!!! Didn't you say you'd give me 10 cents a minute?
> > > Are you sure this is AT&T?
> > > AT&T: Well, yes this is AT&T sir but......
> > > Me: But nothing, how do you figure that by saying that you'll give me 10
> > > cents a minute that I'll give you 10 cents a minute? Is this some kind of
> > > subliminal telemarketing scheme? I've read about things like this in the
> > > Enquirer you know. Don't use your alien brainwashing techniques on me!
> > > AT&T: No sir we are offering 10 cents a minute for.....
> > > Me: THERE YOU GO AGAIN! Can I speak to a supervisor please!
> > > AT&T: Sir I don't think that is necessary.
> > > Me: Sure! You say that now! What happens later?
> > > AT&T: What?
> > > Me: I insist on speaking to a supervisor!
> > > AT&T: Yes Mr. Byron. Please hold on.
> > > So now AT&T has me on hold and my supper is getting cold. I begin to eat
> > > while I'm waiting for a supervisor. After a wait of a few minutes and
> > > while I have a mouth full of food:
> > > Supervisor: Mr. Byron?
> > > Me: Yeth?
> > > Supervisor: I understand you are not quite understanding our 10 cents a
> > > minute program.
> > > Me: Id thish Ath Teeth & Teeth?
> > > Supervisor: Yes sir, it sure is.
> > > I had to swallow before I choked on my food. It was all I could do to
> > > suppress my laughter and I had to be careful not to produce a snort.
> > > Me: No, actually I was just waiting for someone to get back to me so that
> > > I could sign up for the plan.
> > > Supervisor: OK, no problem, I'll transfer you back to the person who was
> > > helping you.
> > > Me: Thank you.
> > > I was on hold once again and was getting really hungry. I needed to end
> > > this conversation. Suddenly, there was an aggravated but polite voice at
> > > the other end of the phone.
> > > AT&T: Hello Mr. Byron, I understand that you are interested in signing up
> > > for our plan?
> > > Me: Do you have that friends and family thing because you can never have
> > > enough friends and I'm an only child and I'd really like to have a little
> > > brother...
> > > AT&T: (click)
> > >



i got this from one of my friends....i thought it was funny!
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Old 08-18-01   #2
magnus1121
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LMAO.. we've been getting calls from the News Press three or four times a DAY lately.. I should really try that.
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Old 08-18-01   #3
Spikess
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lol yeah ive been wanting to try it too! but the only problem is no one phones us!
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Old 08-22-01   #4
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hehehe

LOL, that was awsome!
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Old 08-22-01   #5
Spikess
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awwww thankies! im glad more than one person liked it!
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Old 08-23-01   #6
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
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LMAO i liked that one!!! Got any more??!!
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Old 08-23-01   #7
Spikess
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nope sorry, i havent got anymore just now but i am gonna look for some more!
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Old 08-23-01   #8
xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
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hehe okay :p
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Old 08-23-01   #9
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That is mad funny!
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Old 08-28-01   #10
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YYYEEEESSSSSS!

I have done shit like that before. Be like...

Me: Hello?
Them: Hi, we are "Rhichard Simon's Excerise" (Or whatever the fuck) Company. We are selling a brand new, fold up, compact, take anywhere, tredmill.
Meoes it fold up?
THem: Yes.
Me: How does it do that?
Them:Just a few simple pulls and its all folded up andready for storage and travel...
Me: Yea, but how?
Them: You just pull...
Me:NO! You tell me how! Do you want to sell the damn product!
Them: Of course sir. You, just, pull...
Me: I DON'T WANT TO KNOW WHAT FUCKING LEVERS TO PULL DAMN IT! HOW DO YOU MAKE IT FOLD UP!
Them: ~Click~ or I don't know! (Then) ~Click~.


I found if you make a complete ass of someone on the phone, then they love it. Or just ask the same two questions over and over, just worded differently. And how much is it? And where is this? Yea, but how much does it cost? Where in the world whould I have to go to get it? And this miracle _____ thing costs...? Where would I have to go to pick this up?


Later.
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Old 08-29-01   #11
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ive seen that call before somewhere else.
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Old 08-30-01   #12
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LMAO...this is funny shit here....i cant believe i missed this
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Old 08-30-01   #13
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Prank Calling

If you're really bored around midnight you call Someone and leave a message on their answering machine. Say this:


Hello, this is Joe from Ebay.com. Congradulations on your winning bid. We called to inform you that you forgot to fill out some important information. To recieve your Delux Sweedish Penis Enlarger/ size extra large, order # 6521804, you must return to Ebay.com to fill out the adequate information. Thank you again from Ebay for your time.
(click)
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Old 08-30-01   #14
bambam=o(
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oh my god, i died of laughter. That was so funny. Thanx for the laugh hun!
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Old 08-31-01   #15
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One of my friends did this to the local journal when they called him..(keep in mind that he 'indulges' in a few things, during the day..) He was playing as his father.

The Journal: Hello this is the ____ Journal, and we are calling to see if you would like to recieve our weekly journal for a small fee, is this the man of the household?
Mal:Yes, is this some kinda newspaper?
The Journal: Yes sir, we-
Mal: OH, I love your paper..but I cant read. My wife is at work right now, sometimes we sit down together and she reads it to me.
The Journal: When will your wife be home sir?
Mal: Im not sure...she left a few weeks ago, but you can call back later, she may be home by then.
The Journal: (after a short pause) Alright sir, we'll do that sir.
Mal: Thank you! bye!
(coughs really loudly into the phone then hangs up)

Another one that Ive found to work in driving away and successfully annoying business people is:

Me: Hello?
Them: Hello, this is ____ Cable, and we are calling to ask if you would like to set up an account with us for an installation fee of $54 and a monthly fee of $22.
Me: I would love to do this, but I have recently been through a divorce and my mother is in the hospital, my dog ran away and my bills are stacking up. Have you ever been married?
Them: No, sir-
Me: Thats too bad, your missing out on a big part of your life. Now what is it that your calling for?
Them: This is ____ Cable and we are-
Me: Oh yes, thats right. So how much is that again?
Them: There is an installation fee of $54 and a monthly fee of $22-
Me: I see...is it worth it?
Them: Yes sir, very much so. We have the largest package available for the lowest price-
Me: Alright, well, Like I said, I would love to...but I already am set up with a Cable company, good day. <click>

Well, thats about it....
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Old 08-31-01   #16
icefireceres
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Quote:
Originally posted by xXDaRkDrEaMzXx
LMAO i liked that one!!! Got any more??!!
grrr she beat me to it hheehehe

woa this are great
I recorded some but their pranks on places like those hehehe
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