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Old 08-19-01   #1
midnightsorrow
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Problems Only Christian Goths Have

Ok I must put this up cause DAMN IT it is the truth!!!(yet oh so fucking funny)

By Gaib from ENCLAVE

from Elias--
"being called a satanist, even though you wear a gigantic cross"
from Harlequin
"my non Christian friends keep turning my cross upside down."
Will my friends think I'm too "preachy" if I wear my ICTHUS fishnets?"
"I know it's a sin to hate, but does that include Marilyn Mason?"
from Anya
-no you're not going out clubbing in your goth regalia on saturday night, "you're actually going to CHURCH"
-the music you listen to does actually have Christian lyrics, even though your family can't decipher them.

Church Problems!!!!
--having parents move their little children a few rows further away when you seat yourself.
--when the pastor talks about heathens in his sermon and everyone turns to look at you.
--a new church member attempts to "convert"you.
--getting your tights/stocking hooked on the seat/pew in full veiw of everybody.
--you ran out of waterproof eyeliner, and after a bit of a drizz during praise and worship your eyes make you look like fankenstien(or bride of).
--getting up/down steps(if any) of church in your heels/huggggge boots(woe be it to you if your church has a wooden floor.........clop, clop, bang, thud, clop, bang, thud")
--if your female: the people behind you moving further to your left/right because they can't see over your dramatic hairstyle which you've piled on top of your head with Victorian ringlets.
--visting a new church, and the security guard follows you from your car to the church because you are "suspiciously dressed"

and the 2 worst things Christain Goths must deal with!!!!!!!!!!
--The black lipstick marks the communion/Lords Supper cup/chalice
(happens to me more often then I want to admit)
--Having people think you're the next Columbine Killer!!
(that happens to me all the fucking time!!)

Hope you guys get a laugh over this list. I will try to add to it if I come across anything new.
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"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
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Old 08-21-01   #2
thumbs101
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heh, those are pretty good midnightsorrow. Some of those acutally happen to you?
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Old 08-23-01   #3
coldandsilent
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one time this churchy kid asked me if i love saten, then i said " Nope, but i am banging his wife though" **wink wink**
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Old 08-23-01   #4
midnightsorrow
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Thumbs-
Yes, all of them happened to me at some point and time. Along with a whole bunch that I didn't put as for they aren't funny unless you are part of the Christian Goth community.
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". . . This is only the cold nose of the fuck-happy fox creature.
-Tip of the iceberg."--Denalay

Somedays it isn't worth chewing through the leather straps.
Hello,
I see the assassins have failed.

"Hey Courtney, aren't you a Buddahist? The goal is to obtain Nirvana, not break them up."---Madonna to Courtney Love on SNL
No magic is ever truly destructive. For what is destruction, except creation with an agenda?
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