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Old 05-29-09   #61
fleamailman
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina View Post
The goblin stands at the counter and looks into the casheers eyes, as he places a gay pornographic magazine onto the polished white counter and says in a high pitched, homosexual voice: 'Hello, I was just wondering if you could assist me on finding a shimmery pack of savory goods, they are baked and they crunch whenever you bite your teeth down on them, the pack may look blue if they are Lays but green if they are Macoy's, depending upon the brand fair lady, I would like to tantalise my taste buds with some cheddar cheese and spring oninon, not organic but just correctly flavoured enough for me to be satisfied with the burst of mixed savory that will invade my mouth once I devour one.'
the goblin liked it, saying "...actually I felt this was your best bit so far, but one sees clearly that you are unpracticed at it, that is since nobody can just start writing in third person, and that if someone wants to be a writer then they have to write in third person for years before it flows naturally...", and with that the goblin posted an example

repost from elsewhere

"...and so, may we have the next contestant please..." the goblin smiled while the lights and camera turned to a new face smiling, she seemed a little tense but alert while he approached her, "...well hello there miss, and let's give a big round of applause for..." the goblin passed the mike towards "...Lenina..." as the clapping starts and she shivers shyly the goblin says his ditty "...nice to meet you, to meet you..." as the audience shout out "...nice..." the goblin continues "...OK, Lenina are you alright, you remember the rules of our little game then, the curtains will open you have ten seconds to memorize everything you see, then we'll close the curtains and anything you can remember is yours, it's as simple as that, you're not nervous I hope...", she looks across to the goblin "...well flea a bit really, but I will do my best, promise..." and with that the great curtains open while the audience counts the seconds down on the clock "...ten, nine, eight, seven..." frantically her mind made a quick picture as her finger pointed to where the televisions, cameras, laptops, and the car were, somehow she knew she could win this "...three, two, one..." the curtains dropped together "...well Lenina, the big question, can you tell everyone what you remember then...", "...well goblin..." she starts with excitement and then bursts out "...there's that Batwoman mask, that sensuous thin riding crop, the super sexy tight leather corset with uplifting cups, oh and those pointed high heals, that pair of handcuffs, and I think I saw a black hood with matching black swimming trunks .." the fingers of her hands clutch together in expectation to the goblin who, turning to the audience again, says "...oh and didn't she do well folks..." as, a bit confused, the goblin dashes behind the curtain to check for himself just in case she was right
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Old 05-29-09   #62
Lenina
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Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....

Look, I don't read all of it because I lose interest after either the first word or the first sentence... I can't be arsed to go through all of that shit because I really don't give a shit what you are attempting to say... Fact of the matter is, you're a fucking douche and the other fact of the matter is you keep reinforcing the fact that you are a douche by posting back with bullshit that I don't even care to read because anyone and throw long words into a post... ANYONE! Why in the fuck would you want to do it though if not to have a fucking pissing contest and try to pretend that you're fucking smart somehow.

I could say the same thing without the long words and the long winded shit... Thats why I call you a douche... Because you really are... I don't need a fucking essay on that... I can just call you a douche.

You also let yourself right down with the third person speak... People would think you were just a fucking tard if you didn't do that but seen as you do... You're a tard and also a fucking douche.

Is that clear enough for you?

Am I getting through to you at all?

Okay...
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Old 05-29-09   #63
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Lenina View Post
Blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah blah....

Look, I don't read all of it because I lose interest after either the first word or the first sentence... I can't be arsed to go through all of that shit because I really don't give a shit what you are attempting to say... Fact of the matter is, you're a fucking douche and the other fact of the matter is you keep reinforcing the fact that you are a douche by posting back with bullshit that I don't even care to read because anyone and throw long words into a post... ANYONE! Why in the fuck would you want to do it though if not to have a fucking pissing contest and try to pretend that you're fucking smart somehow.

I could say the same thing without the long words and the long winded shit... Thats why I call you a douche... Because you really are... I don't need a fucking essay on that... I can just call you a douche.

You also let yourself right down with the third person speak... People would think you were just a fucking tard if you didn't do that but seen as you do... You're a tard and also a fucking douche.

Is that clear enough for you?

Am I getting through to you at all?

Okay...

"...here you go then Lenina, look I know all these big words and reading must be very hard on you then, so just use this, and can thank me later..." said the goblin just being helpful as always to fellow members here

http://ssshotaru.homestead.com/files...ranslator.html
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Old 05-29-09   #64
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You missed my point completely... Another shred of proof that you are a fucking prick.

Quit your anal bullshit and just fuck off.

K. Thnx
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Old 05-29-09   #65
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"...admittedly your point was more like points and rather a lot of them and a bit all over the place for that matter..." mentioned the goblin, while outside the slowly engulfing night promised another evening of wondrous posting with the flame goddess once more, she was getting better, she had style and talent too, "...admit it, you bored without me now MYAHAHAHAHA, I love this thread too then..."

repost from a writer's site elsewhere, their "welcome new members" thread

the goblin showed, regally welcomed the new member to this site, and then had the bad habit of losing himself looking across the bistro floor at a child propped in a babychair who in turn, and in big eyed baby sort of way, was looking back at the goblin, "...her trick..." the goblin started, somehow guessing that it had to be a little girl here, since a little girl inter reacted with people more than a little boy who would being trying to escape from the babychair by now, but the goblin just continued "...is to drop the toy on the floor for someone to pick up, to which someone naturally picks it up, placing it in her little hand with some "aren't you cute" uttering and a smile...", to which moments later, and after she has licked the toy clean again, she looks around to see if her next target, in this case the typing goblin here, is game, and just extends her arm in that slow deliberate way letting the toy slip from her fingers, only to notice that the goblin is smiling, of course he'll pick it up for her in a moment he knows but not before typing this, saying "....you see in writing, if you do what is expected, as and when it is expected of you too, you will not be noticed..." and with that the goblin welcomed the new member once more
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Old 05-29-09   #66
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Quote:
Originally Posted by fleamailman View Post
"...admittedly your point was more like points and rather a lot of them and a bit all over the place for that matter..." "...admit it, you bored without me now MYAHAHAHAHA, I love this thread too then..."

repost from a writer's site elsewhere, their "welcome new members" thread

the goblin showed, regally welcomed the new member to this site, and then had the bad habit of losing himself looking across the bistro floor at a child propped in a babychair who in turn, and in big eyed baby sort of way, was looking back at the goblin, "
...her trick is to drop the toy on the floor for someone to pick up, to which someone naturally picks it up, placing it in her little hand with some "aren't you cute" uttering and a smile...", to which moments later, and after she has licked the toy clean again, she looks around to see if her next target is game.
And just extends her arm in that slow deliberate way letting the toy slip from her fingers, of course someone will pick it up for her in a moment.
"....you see in writing, if you do what is expected, as and when it is expected of you too, you will not be noticed..."
Kinda cleared that up for folks to actaully get an idea of WTF you were trying to type.
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Old 05-30-09   #67
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the goblin thanked the members for the their posts, seeing through their replies of course, simply if he himself didn't like something he wouldn't reply at all to it, the goblin was more cruel than most here, saying "...anyway, that text is saying "I'm playing ball here but I may not do what is expected of me", for, if one does what is expected from one, on cue each time, especially concerning the publishing world in my experience, then one risks the situation of Conan Doyle eventually hating his own creation "Sherlock Holmes" on the one hard, and worse, through ones own predictability, becoming invisible on the other, example Lenina has to play the flame goddess here because that is her persona now, simply it is expected of her, she has stereotyped herself hasn't she then, most members do...",
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Old 05-30-09   #68
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tozzy View Post
I can't be bothered to read your posts any more.

Big blocks of text bore me.
Yeah, my thoughts exactly.
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Old 05-30-09   #69
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Is there anyone who reads his posts ?
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Old 05-30-09   #70
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Holy crap at the tl;dr.
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Old 05-30-09   #71
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Tozzy View Post
I can't be bothered to read your posts any more.

Big blocks of text bore me.
"...somehow you flatter yourself that I am writing these replies for you then, when really I am writing them for myself..." a statement that might sound odd, but the goblin always stored and reposted his own stuff elsewhere, continuing "...besides, who here posts to please others anyway, not you for sure, so why should I be any different from you then on that score, we differ on what one does with the posts though..."
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Old 05-30-09   #72
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If you aren't posting for the benefit of someone reading it, and as you say you store your replies elsewhere, why not just type all this crap into a Word doc, save it to your HD, and read it while you wank?
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Old 05-30-09   #73
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Originally Posted by Wicked Lady View Post
If you aren't posting for the benefit of someone reading it, and as you say you store your replies elsewhere, why not just type all this crap into a Word doc, save it to your HD, and read it while you wank?
"...well a lot has to do with the reason I gave before on this thread about being actively engaged by people who don't read my replies anyway, or it's more likely, ah and this is probably going to amaze you now, because I use both hands when I type, yes that's right, you've actually now come across someone who doesn't just use one index finger that is..." replied the goblin knowing that wicked lady's post was hardly for the goblin's benefit either, "...never said that I don't read your posts, I do, promise, just that this text I am writing now, I am not writing for you, whereas you have already shown me that you do neither of those for me then..."

Last edited by fleamailman; 05-30-09 at 12:18.
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Old 05-30-09   #74
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tl;dr
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Old 05-30-09   #75
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tl;dr
took the words right out of my mouth.

also: as;dflkj
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Old 05-31-09   #76
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Internet talk... What the fuck!?!
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Old 05-31-09   #77
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Wicked Lady View Post
tl;dr
("...um, well that explains why you suggested typing while wanking then..." laughed the goblin)


"...just I live against death, and post against silence, both are futile I understand but the question is not "if", it's "how" isn't it humans, you waste you words in heckles here, simply "how to live to the full" in "dailylife" is "how to post to the full" on the Internet..." mentioned the goblin knowing that the next reply would just be another attack on his persona again, saying "...you hit out at a mask, but you can't touch me, not until you refute "content" here, and I too would like to know where I am wrong then..."

Last edited by fleamailman; 05-31-09 at 04:59.
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Old 05-31-09   #78
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tl;dr x 2
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Old 06-01-09   #79
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he needs meds.. this bi-polar disorder that causes him to post this way needs medical attention..
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Old 06-01-09   #80
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"...thanks tozzy, but I can't agree with your statement above stating that wicked lady needs to be laid more..." mused the goblin, continuing "...you just have to give her more time here, then she will make some great posts in her own right..."

Last edited by fleamailman; 06-01-09 at 15:19.
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