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Old 03-21-08   #1
drowning in suicide
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Join Date: Jan 2003
Location: In blissful purgatory
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Random Thoughts and Shit

It's midnight, I can't sleep. Too many thoughts run through my head at once. Crowded though my brain is, there's always room for more thoughts, which of course, becomes filled even quicker. Thoughts of home, wherever it is now, I know I'm not home that's for sure. Thoughts of passed friends and lost ones. Thoughts of the future. I'm nowhere near the place I wanted to be at my age. 23, single, living with my parents, overweight, still going to college only able to take one class a quarter, having no job, no monetary income of any kind, no car or license, having to solely rely on others for help. Is this what my life has come to? Complete and utter lack of control? I rarely talk to my father, and I haven't even seen him in over a year.

I still need a beer.

I think it's time for a change, I have a job interview coming up tomorrow...well today now. If I get it, I'm going to pay off my bills, and save the rest of the money, and move away from this sewage that I see as my life. This place doesn't feel like home...
In the past I always questioned my strength to keep going on day after day,

I just found a shot bottle of brandy in my room, and it tastes delicious...OH...Tequila too! That one is next!

I think this will turn into of those "Drink yourself to sleep" nights...haven't done one of those in a while.

So yes, it is time for a change, I don't know how I'll start off, but it will be different tomorrow. I'm going to do my best with my job interview, and work my ass off. And that's going to take a lot of working. I have a fat ass.

When I first moved down here, I was a waist size 52, now I'm nearly a 60...my old clothes don't fit, and neither does my nice warm leather jacket...that's the first thing to change I guess.

If you're still reading this...then you either really are interested...or are totally bored..either way, I'd give you kudos if I could!

And if you can read this you don't need glasses.

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