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Old 06-07-06   #21
Nox noctis Umbra
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Exactly. I hate those soft assholes who say that physically punishing your children leads them to be violent. Hell, I had the shit beat out of me on almost an hourly basis when I was a child, on top of getting ass whippings for misbehavour(My stepmom did the beating, my dad did the whipping, who do you think I like better?) and yet I am not really a violent person. Don't get me wrong, I will kick your ass if you piss me off bad enough, but in normal circumstances, I am not prone to violent actions.
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Old 06-07-06   #22
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Very much so. One of the biggest arguments that the anti-corporal punishment lobbyists have is that "violence begets violence".

I don't see this.

You teach your kids not to hit in anger, and without just provocation, and they learn not to.
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Old 06-07-06   #23
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My little brother needs to learn that
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Old 06-07-06   #24
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I'm not saying that violence necessarily begets violence, but I believe in some cases it does (which could lead us into a nature vs. nurture argument). Also, as another person who was hit (and other things) as a kid, it didn't roll off my back as easily. I don't plan on hitting my kids. I don't see how physical punishment is helpful (or better yet healthy) in any way, especially if it's done in a way to humiliate or hurt someone. If it's such a great idea, why don't they continue it into adulthood? Except for self-defense, is there really a right reason to hit someone else? In my opinion, NO, there isn't. Call me a "softie" or whatever you'd like, I just do not agree with it. I'm also not going to sit here and claim I've never done it before (laid a hand on someone else ever), and even looking back at it, I realize it was mostly out of frustration or anger that could have been expressed otherwise and the remaining times would be trying to protect myself.

Also, please keep in mind that children under a certain age aren't capable of adequately expressing themselves verbally and that is part of why they may act up. If a kid isn't able to express themselves, is it possible that perhaps they wouldn't be capable of understanding what is totally going on when they got hit?

I wouldn't have yelled at the woman in the movies to go into the bathroom and spank her kid because:

a) it's not my place to do so;
b) I don't think it's the way to handle a child's behavior;
c) the kid was likely under a year old
d) me yelling in the middle of the movie would likely just caused even more of a disruption

What I would have done if it continued was to go out to the lobby or the hall and get an usher, explain the disruption and make it clear that I paid good money to be able to watch a film and that I would like something done about the noise, and if nothing was, I would have complained to the management. If doing what I think a rational adult would do, and that makes me soft, then just call me squishy.

I'll just agree to disagree with everyone else on this one.
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Old 06-07-06   #25
Nox noctis Umbra
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I can see your point, but from my view point(which is where everyone's opinion is coming from, their pov, and you know what they say about opinions)a child who doesn't get shown that there can be severe reprocussions from misbehavior, they have a tendancy to always be in trouble, extremely disobediant, and generally wind up in prison. I see that way too much in this town, especially with certain children who have parents that are civil servants. If you feel you can do a good job without physical punishment, by all means do so, but this would be my method should my little girl ever live with me: Nose in the corner. Doesn't listen to me, a swat on the ass, and the nose in the corner, still not listening 2 swats, and if she kept it up, I would work my way up to 5 swats, after that, she would sit her ass in a chair, in the corner, with her hands under her ass for 30 mins. no t.v. on, no radio, no nothing.
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Old 06-07-06   #26
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I'm not so incredibly testosterone overloaded that I'm unwilling to listen to impressions on other forms of discipline. I just feel that for small children, who have not yet developed the mental faculties necessary to have a complex moral discussion on the ramifications of their actions, that spanking can be a very effective tool.

It's pavlovian - negative association. They begin to associate the negative action with the discipline, which ceases the activity. When they get older, and you can discuss this in greater detail, then you can use other forms of discipline.

I think you have some great points, and that spanking should only be used in extreme circumstances, but I still don't really see other forms of discipline as being as effective.

In my experience, trying to reason with children this young is an absolute exercise in futility, and discipline such as "time out" doesn't seem to do much better. Sometimes, if it escalates to it, they just need a whuppin, and it gets the point across.

I in no way condone excessive use of it, however, and it should never be done when you are angry. It should be done in a loving manner, to get the point across. If you do it in anger, to let out your frustrations, it becomes abusive.

I am soon going to have my first own child, and I am very interested in hearing other points on how to discipline children in an effective manner.



As far as the girl in the movies, I consider it the same as a person on a cellphone in the theatre. I agree, I wouldn't want to put myself out or act assinine and tell them what to do, or cause a ruckus, and the kid absolutely does NOT deserve a spanking if he/she was a year old or less. That's not the kid acting poorly, that's just the kid being a kid.

My only point is that the stupid bitch mother should've had a little more common courtesy and respect, and not brought the child.
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Old 06-08-06   #27
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Nox and Dark:

Thanks for listening to my opinions, and I must say that both of you had a lot of acceptable valid points as well. There was little out of anything that I didn't agree on with anything that was said.

Nox saying that:
Quote:
I can see your point, but from my view point(which is where everyone's opinion is coming from, their pov, and you know what they say about opinions)a child who doesn't get shown that there can be severe reprocussions from misbehavior, they have a tendancy to always be in trouble, extremely disobediant, and generally wind up in prison.
...I can also see the point that, yes, that that is possible, though so is someone who was given the same treatment and ends up in prison because of it. I wouldn't say that the people in prison, at least some of them, have had the happiest of growing up years that could have pointed them in that direction.

Quote:
I in no way condone excessive use of it, however, and it should never be done when you are angry. It should be done in a loving manner, to get the point across. If you do it in anger, to let out your frustrations, it becomes abusive.
Is it even possible to do this WITHOUT any anger or frustration involved? Again, maybe it sounds sappy, but if it got to the point where the transgression was over and done with and I had to discipline the kid way after the fact, I'd probably feel to deal with it in some way other than spanking. If it was too close to the time when the transgression occurred, I think I'd probably still feel angry with the child.

I also wanted to make it clear that I do believe discipline is necessary. I'm not implying that you guys accused me of saying that I think kids should be able to run willy-nilly and get totally out of control. No discipline of any kind at all hurts kids too because it doesn't prepare them for real life. I just feel perhaps if people think before they act sometimes, it would be helpful. A lot of these judgement calls come spur of the moment with children and I'm aware of that fact. We all don't have time to necessarily deal with it 100% perfectly each time. I just think it would behoove people as a whole to learn more about adequate parenting including discipline BEFORE they have kids, and even then it wouldn't be easy. One reason I am glad that I would plan on having a child now in my life as opposed to when I was much younger is that I feel I would be a more effective parent.

I don't know what her reason was that she didn't seem to show common courtesy, but I wouldn't have called the lady in the movies a "stupid bitch".


I also think that talking on a cell phone in a movie is distracting to the other people around you, and it would be nice if more people (myself included) remembered to mute them or turn them off during the film. There was actually one movie theatre (that has actually closed in recent years) that I stopped liking to go to even though it was a very nice theatre originally because of people answering pagers and walking around and talking and sitting on the tops of seats, walking in and out of the theatre rooms, etc. I wonder if they wound up closing due to lost business because of this.

Also I wanted to bring attention to both of you for expressing your opinions and the difference between your opinions and mine respectfully. Thank you.
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Old 06-08-06   #28
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Isn't it funny how in a forum where we can whine, bitch piss and moan, flame, and insult, we are having a calm, civil conversation, but in other forums on this board, they are getting to the point where they are at each other's throats
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Old 06-08-06   #29
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Yeah, really. I can think of one particular thread in another area off the top of my head as a matter of fact.
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Old 06-08-06   #30
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Blood & Fire
Nox and Dark:

I don't know what her reason was that she didn't seem to show common courtesy, but I wouldn't have called the lady in the movies a "stupid bitch".
Ok, ok, I have a tendency to be a tad on the harsh side at times. I'm kinda like Hannibal Lector in that way. Rudeness gets me pretty riled up.


Quote:
Originally Posted by Blood & Fire
Also I wanted to bring attention to both of you for expressing your opinions and the difference between your opinions and mine respectfully. Thank you.
Thank you, too! I do enjoy my retarded flame matches at time, but to actually have a productive conversation is very nice as well.
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Old 06-08-06   #31
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Oh my, we are being polite in here.





Fuck all yall fucking fuckers right in the fucker you fucks.
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Old 06-08-06   #32
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We love you too Barely
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Old 06-08-06   #33
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barely Breathing
Oh my, we are being polite in here.





Fuck all yall fucking fuckers right in the fucker you fucks.
And eat shit! EAT MY SHIT! Fuck your mom.
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Old 06-08-06   #34
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I just pictured that scene from the movie Summer School where they were talking about swear words and everyone starts cursing the most foul terminology ever and Eakian just yells, "Damn it! Heh-heh-heh-heh!"
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Old 06-08-06   #35
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Lol! I'd forgotten about that movie.
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Old 06-09-06   #36
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Barely Breathing


Fuck all yall fucking fuckers right in the fucker.
where is "right in the fuckers" located at?

of course we love you to. but lego my fuckers. alright?
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