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Old 01-17-04   #721
Darling Apathy
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i didn't feel like searching for my other thread so ... here's an explicit poem.

Silver shadows drip (wet)
over the landscape
The full moon (erect)
rises high in the sky

Do you sense a difference
in the air?

Low (hot) and throbbing
like a saxophone
guided by pheromones
flowing (moan) like a
slow exhalation
from a rainforest at the
(slick) dawn of creation

A womans (sweat) body
is deep (hot) with mystery
as old as the luminous
moon that rides (hard)
the sky (faster). It
turns her seasons (burns)
with its revolving rythms

Its radiance calls to
(penetrates) her body
and her body (gasping)
in turn calls to yours
(yearning) with the moist
tounge (sucking) of her
chemical scent surrounding
you in a cloud of (writhing)
smoke, silently (exploding)
carressing you from a distance
subtly suggesting (release)
that you love her
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Old 01-24-04   #722
Darling Apathy
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His exquisite scent,
Returned to me.
And in a rush,
Of past remembrance,
I inhaled his spirit.
Again I know,
The experience of heaven.
I weep tears of joy,
For what I had,
But is no more.
It is the past.

Again the memory,
Of him returns.
The feeling of him,
His embracing skin,
His arms around me.
I reach out,
To take hold,
Eternally.
I truly had essence,
In his pressence.
It is the past.

But memories,
Are not reality.
I connect with no one,
Where he in my arms,
Should forever exist.
I cry out words,
Of sorrowful pain,
For what I need,
But cannot be.
I want what was,
But know not,
It was the past.
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Old 01-24-04   #723
Darling Apathy
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so your lips
against mine
just don't feel as good tonight

and your tongue
is like a boa
because with each kiss
each word
each lie
you are choking me

yourbodysoclose
and the butterflies
they're still there
but i can only think of

flying away with them

so when you fall asleep tonight
i'll watch you
just as i have before
because that's when
you are simply beautiful

no words
only breath escapes
your soft lips

and that is when i remember
i love you
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Old 02-26-04   #724
Darling Apathy
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hush hush

the fan.blades.are.splicing.the.air;
hearts are beating on graph paper squares
pores are pulsating, heaving hurt hands
into the air! so it goes;
(baby's breath is in her hair
sweetly spilling around her face)
whispering as roots wrap around limbs,
and the bumps on the wall
scrape my skin
abrasion;
(me against you
me against the world)
words are the better fate
Truly,
the vents are burning,
shriveling the grasp of
bone.iron.hands
(les mains chauds)
that zipped the bag
Right over my head
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Old 03-20-04   #725
Darling Apathy
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the washing machine
spun to a halt with my heart...

the thread unwound,
the silver-chord that had
woven us intricately together,
slowly slithering away with the wind,
like a coiled snake searching for a new home
in some damp, moss-covered cavern.

i say the puddles on the pavement
are results of melting snow,
to disguise that these are
my ice-sculptured visions...

reality has had too long to
seep into my ivory palace...

necklaces were given away,
earrings lost,
bracelets broken,
cloth unraveled...

only the words remain.

(i couldn't bear to lose them, too,
they're all i have after losing you...)
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Old 03-20-04   #726
Darling Apathy
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Johnny never wanted to be seen,
just to wear anonymity like cloak.
He yearned so hard, to fit.
Simply craved to blend.
But he was thrust into,
a spotlight of
parental choosing.

He tried to fight it,
but "Shame" and "Disappoint"
were familiar words.
So sinking down,
while shining out,
he plunged headlong.
His life being lived
vicariously by gene-donors.

And so he dropped,
into a soulless void.
His once bright eyes
now dead flecks.
Reflecting aspirations
that were never his.
A false promise
of "Proud".

They found him dead.
A razor-blade,
a bathtub stained red.
Two quick slices,
and "Shame" disappeared.
And control washed him
in waves of heat.
He finally blended in.
One small gravestone,
in a sea, of promise.
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Old 04-20-04   #727
Darling Apathy
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hmm ... should i post some more?


i think i will ...
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Old 04-20-04   #728
Darling Apathy
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When laughter of my dearest friends does cease
And rain no longer taps upon the ground
When soft and timidly my heart does sound
And quiet is the wind up in the trees
When silence sits so heavy on my soul
The darkness weighing down on everything
Such quiet apathy, so stifling
There's nothing more to fill this empty hole.
Here's when I turn to songs and melodies
To wake me from this silent, dreamless sleep
The music draws me from this hole so deep
It stirs my mind and puts my soul at ease.
I want this song surrounding, filling me
Brightening dream and hope and memory
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Old 04-20-04   #729
Darling Apathy
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I am! (birth)
I am. (life)
I am? (death)

I am a constant --only the punctuation changes.
I am trapped between an exclamation point
and a question mark,
searching for an infinite ellipsis…

By the way,
this is a lie and everyone’s laughing at you.
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Old 04-20-04   #730
Darling Apathy
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“Oh, me? I’m between Gods right now. Thanks for asking.”
--Typical response to people who come to my door and ask me about God.


God is coming tomorrow.

I heard that yesterday.

It’s almost midnight and
I’m still waiting.

Becoming anxious and impatient,
I go to look for Him
only to find Him in the mirror
looking frail
with a cigarette
dangling between two
chapped lips.

I think He sensed my
disappointment, because He said,

“Who did you expect? Quit
whining! Nobody wants
to listen to you bitch and moan.
Take care of yourself and
leave me alone!”

That’s the day I discovered
that I wasn’t really a poet
and just needed thorazine.

But when my medical insurance
refused to cover pharmaceuticals,

I once again became a scream
in this infinite darkness
of bustling binary code
that craves God
and refuses to forget myself
amidst advertisements for
lower mortgage rates,
mail order viagra,
and new diet fads.

Diet fads?

I will eat me Gods.
They shall be my sustenance
and I will have Holy Shits
upon digestion.

It doesn’t make any difference though,
because recently,

I heard that God was dead.

I had no idea!
I didn’t even know He was sick.
Then I heard it might have been foul play.
I was aghast! He seemed like such a nice God.
Lived in a nice neighborhood,
pillar of the community, but
I did hear that His Son went slumming
once in a while. And we all know
once you start hanging with
those unsavory types,
you’re just askin’ to be nailed to a cross.
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Old 08-09-04   #731
Darling Apathy
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Within five seconds
I had the most vivid
—intense
—over-the-top
—exhausting
—and possibly illegal—
motion picture
in full stereo
and every angle
directed
and edited
—and re-edited—
inside my head
with a star
you might recognize
in your own reflection.

I liked your shoes ..
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Old 08-09-04   #732
Darling Apathy
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nobody tells me who i am
i cry 'liar' to the ends of the earth
i wrap myself in me
so you may never find the reality
but slowly i unwind
fall down in your arms
if it could be anyone to tell me
why does it have to be you?
i cant understand myself
you've got me figured out
if you let me in on it
i've failed me

i run for living mystery
enigma hidden in everything simple
and what have you done?
complicate every little shred.
it could be someone else
knowing me right away
it could be them to tell me
what next will i say.

why are you so right?
map out my life, you know where i'll be
today, tomorrow night
you know everything about me.

why is it you?

it could be anyone
but it's that much more painful
to hear it from the one i love
so, i hate to hear it from you.
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Old 07-12-05   #733
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Darling Apathy
Questions

Here we go again.
We're right back where we began.
Please don't act surprised
And don't pretend that you can't understand
What all of this is about.
You know that I'm always going to be me
Wondering, curious, stupid little me
Asking the questions that I can never keep at bay.
I mean, is this love the best for me?
Or does it hold me down?
By clipping my wings
Making me as useless
And as pathetic as the caged eagle.
Do I make you happy?
Or is this love an illusion
Another trick my mind has played on me?
And what about all of the fun
That I could have had?
And the things I'll never see?
I have to wonder if happiness is eluding me
Or if I am deluding myself
Drinking deep from the liquor
Of infatuation and selfish pride.
Would I be happier with someone else?
Could they make me feel special?
Could they make me feel loved?
Could we survive long nights alone?
You know, maybe this is all out of convenience
Perhaps love is just another shortcut through life
And we're just too lazy
To pack our stuff and move away.
Maybe, just too scared to try.
Am I fooling myself?
Pretending you were someone else.
Wondering why you stay around
When you know I get this way.
You have to face it my dear
I'll always bring you tears
I'll always play upon your fears
I'm always going to bring you down.
I just wish I were as strong as you.
Oh well, I guess that makes me envious too.
Maybe I just don't have a clue
Of what love means anymore.
I guess I'm just not the kind of girl
Who was meant to settle down
Or the kind that was meant to have a home
Sleeping with the same man night after night.
Sometimes the only thing
That makes me want to stay
Is how you're always there for me.
Because whenever the questions disappear
And I wipe away the tears
I see you smiling back at me.
You've never once gotten mad at me
Nor the least bit bitter for what I've said.
You've just calmly held my hand
And told me that you understand.
No matter what hell I've put you through
You're there for me
Comforting me
And that's why I can't push you away.
Because every time I wipe my tears
I want to see you there
Smiling back at me.
You know, perhaps I question
Purely for the sake of questioning
Or perhaps it's my messed up human nature
Making me always wonder what I'm missing.
But as long as you stand by my side
And calmly hold my hand
I promise to pull through
Because even in my darkest hour
I cannot question how you feel.
It's all too obvious that you love me.
Even though I'll never know why.
Until the day I die, I'll never doubt
What you feel for me
And how you're always there for me
With your smiling face
And your loving eyes
Peeking through my tears
As I wipe them from my face.
You make me love you
And even though sometimes
I want to hate you for that
All I can do is love you back.
Because to find someone as special as you
Is such a rare and beautiful thing
That to pass it up now for any reason
Or anyone
Is an idea so ridiculous
It is beyond all questioning.
dated 10/2002..... Raven you must provide us with proof that you posted or wrote this poem before that date... if so we shall delete this thread and Ban this member.... if not we will leave this thread be.... Fuckdoll should be contacting you.... Dark if you come back please contact a Moderator immediately as you are being accused of Plagarism which is a bannable offense here at DF....
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Old 07-18-05   #734
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