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Old 10-01-03   #1
dark_orquid
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A little scared Orchid

I just moved in with my bf and cuture husbent not that long ago
i have been here for 2 months .And im so far away from my friends and family
and oild life .
Im 6 months ahead and im just so out of place right now ...?
I have all this things on top of me that i can't help to cry some nights .
I'm scared of his friends sometimes , i don't want to say how i feel i dont even what to bitch about anything .
his family is great and they are so helpful .
He is wonderful in all the sence of the word .
But some times i can't stop feeling like i want to run back to my old place, my old life , the old me .
So many things are going around my head i cant help it any more i dont want to tell him anything but i just feel terrified .
To be here ..some times i just feel lonly and worthless and out of place
that i dont deserve to be here and that i dont deserve him .
His some of friends even make it harder to deal with .They might always be passing judgement on my and some time i feel ignored by them and it has gone as far as one of them telling a lie to him or even more .Just to cause some sort of a issue w/ the both of us .
Sence the night that we had this very emotional argument i feel so scared and
alone in my quest that is driving me insane to this point .
I dont know what to do about all this presure and stress .
I guess im not as strong as i thoght i was ..

Some one please help ...!
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Old 10-01-03   #2
Sad Mephisto
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Don't worry. Be flexible. You'll get used to it.
It's all I can help you cos I've never experienced such things. But I can say that there is about 95% of pepole on Earth that have managed to survive.
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Old 10-01-03   #3
dark_orquid
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I have been tring to do that , but every one usualy walk all over me
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Old 10-01-03   #4
EbonyDragyn
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*hugs you* feel better and smile, sometimes if you just smile you can remember good stuff and it makes you feel all warm and fuzzy inside .
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Old 10-01-03   #5
Billy the Kidd
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Quote:
Originally Posted by dark_orquid
I just moved in with my bf and cuture husbent not that long ago
i have been here for 2 months .And im so far away from my friends and family
and oild life .
Im 6 months ahead and im just so out of place right now ...?
I have all this things on top of me that i can't help to cry some nights .
I'm scared of his friends sometimes , i don't want to say how i feel i dont even what to bitch about anything .
his family is great and they are so helpful .
He is wonderful in all the sence of the word .
But some times i can't stop feeling like i want to run back to my old place, my old life , the old me .
So many things are going around my head i cant help it any more i dont want to tell him anything but i just feel terrified .
To be here ..some times i just feel lonly and worthless and out of place
that i dont deserve to be here and that i dont deserve him .
His some of friends even make it harder to deal with .They might always be passing judgement on my and some time i feel ignored by them and it has gone as far as one of them telling a lie to him or even more .Just to cause some sort of a issue w/ the both of us .
Sence the night that we had this very emotional argument i feel so scared and
alone in my quest that is driving me insane to this point .
I dont know what to do about all this presure and stress .
I guess im not as strong as i thoght i was ..

Some one please help ...!
1st time away from home?
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Old 10-01-03   #6
dark_orquid
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Billy the Kidd
1st time away from home?

Yeap !!!!!
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Old 10-01-03   #7
Sin
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~hugs Orquid tight~

You'll be okay hunnie trust me. If you weren't meant to be there, then fate would not have brought you there. *smiles* Everything will turn out fine so just try to relax some. The world today is full of communication links and our friends and family no matter how far away are only however far it is from where you are to the telephone.

I'm sure everything will turn out right and progress in life is always better than remaining rooted where you are so you'll be good. ~hugs tight~
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Old 10-02-03   #8
errantrogue
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besides... now the earth shattering fucking can commence with more convenience.... just focus on the good.
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Old 10-02-03   #9
Kendra
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well if you aren't really to happy to be where you are. you can always take the plain ticket home. but if you feel that you should stay and want to work things out. then stay and work things out the best way that you can.
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Old 10-04-03   #10
leshak
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Well, you should talk to your boyfriend about your feelings. Don't let them pile up. Tell him how you feel. He will, or at least should, understand.
It is your first time away from home! You are entitled to get homesick!! There ist nothing wrong about that.
Call your friends, visit them, tell your boyfriend how you fell.
Wish you luck und that you find the strength
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Old 10-12-03   #11
masochist
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get a job, do a class, make some friends that you can hang out with - not avoid your bf, but just for a change of scenary.

definatley have a big talk with him.
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Old 10-12-03   #12
Faler
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I have to agree with masochist. Employment and a job can really help you with your self esteem. Also regular exercise, (i'm sorry if I sound like a commercial), can boost confidence. But I think to really improve your self impression, you could enroll in college courses. Nothing feels better then accomplishment.
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