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Old 07-01-03   #1
SexyredRose
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My Relationship



This may sound stupid for some of you, but for me it's important that someone please tell me something that illuminates my mind.
My boyfriend (sorry by my english) it's a very strong believes man, who likes to find an explanation for everything that ok but he always makes me feel bad because he says I'm blind, I'm lost and a chaos and want me to make me another VIH test, because I used to hang out with a guy whose past with women is incredible (a story I want to forget ) He hurt me physically even though he says he don't, bite so hard, I'm tied up in this relationship, but he is my life we love each other, he cares too much for me, but also like he say give me what he think "Ideserve for been so bad".
He want me to change, to think, to open my eyes, but no one can understand him I can't even explain he's personallity, he is into kendo and spend money in good equipment, always looking for the best, always looking reason for everything wanting me to think like him.
But what most disturbs me! He always hang me everytime he "remembers" better said imagines my past chaotic life that isn't bad and that is almost every week...
Well this is just a little intro to my problem I just want to know what to do, what to think, what I can change , what I have to learn, PLEASE! thanks for your time
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Old 07-01-03   #2
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Dump the bastard. Any man who lifts his hand to a woman is a coward, you do not have to put up with that. He doesn't want a girlfriend, he wants a parrot, and a plastic one at that. You're young, you have your whole life ahead of you. Dump his ass! Why do you feel you deserve to be a punching bag for this man? Yes, I'd say go have an HIV test, but do this for YOU not for him. Be safe, don't play with your life.
Domestic violence never has a happy ending, leave now while you still can.
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Old 07-01-03   #3
druidess
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Anyone who tries to change you doesn't love you for who you are, and why would you want to be with someone who doesn't accept you the way you are? Why would you stay with someone who punishes you for your past, makes you feel guilty for it? You should never regret or feel shameful for what you have bneen through, for it makes you who you are. Never change for anyone but yourself, and never put up with physical abuse, no one deserves that. Lose the asshole.
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Old 07-01-03   #4
SexyredRose
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How many times that has pass through my head and I don't have the guts to do it, difficult, I love him about the punishing I can't stand it for him is not wrong everytime he does it he ask me to forgive him. I love him we almost live together, I just I never have anything to say to him nothing and if I say something he says I'm not in position to talk about things I don't know and when I talk to him about my aunt "my tutor" mistreatment she always hit me since I have memory he said to me that I better don't tell him those things if I 'm not going to do anything because for him I'm blind quite living"in dreamland" jet , that I never have anything interesting to talk about with proof
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Old 07-01-03   #5
SexyredRose
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Thanks for read and reply my post a lot!
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Old 07-01-03   #6
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Look, you have the choice, really you do. You have your entire life and your whole destiny within your grasp.

On the one side you have your boyfriend: He is manipulative, egocentric, cowardice, an abuser, insecure and does not love you as much as he says he does, because he loves himself more. He is keeping you with fear. No love can grow or exist where there is fear and manipulation. Any man that has to belittle you to make himself feel good is not deserving of you, and is not a man but a complete coward. By breaking you down emotionally and physically he feels victorious and empowered, he cannot have his own strength, he has to take yours. Love my dear, is not about abusing and breaking down, it's about embracing and encouraging and supporting. You are a possession to him, an object, how is that love? You are young, you are very young, you have many years to live, if you so choose. Because believe me, domestic violence like I said seldom has a happy ending, and the man never changes, no matter what he says. UNLESS he goes for professional help.

On the other hand you have: You... your freedom, your LIFE. The chance to live a full and complete life, the chance of meeting someone who will love you for who and what you are, not someone who tries to beat you into something they want you to be. You have your life, choose it.
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Old 07-01-03   #7
SexyredRose
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Desitions desitions desitions thanks
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Old 07-01-03   #8
SWITCHBLADE666
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i could never have said it better myself.

leave the asshole, sweetie. what lilith says is true, thats probably the best piece of advice you're ever gonna get in your life on the subject. i hope you find the courage within yourself to take action against this, and leave him for good. the courage is in there honey, you got what it takes, you just got reach in and grab it.
you are very young, and you do have your whole life ahead of you, not to mention countless opportunities to meet someone who will love you, and respect you for who you are. this guy doesnt love you at all, he may be in love with the image he has of you in his head, what he plans on shaping you into. and that honey is pretty much nothing but a slave for him.
please dont give in to this guy, lose him. things are not gonna get better and he is not sorry no matter how truthful he may look when he says he is. cases like this only get worse with time and it becomes harder to escape. if you think its bad now, just imagine how it ll be later. like lilith said, domestic violence cases rarely have a happy ending. in many the woman ends up getting killed.
oh and please honey whatever you do, dont let him get you pregnant!
thats the best advice i can give you, hope you make the right choice. get back to us and let us know how youre doing.
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Old 07-01-03   #9
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I understand to a point how you feel. My situation is much different, I've never been hit or talked down to, but I do understand how hard it can be to walk away from the one that you love most. But, I will tell you this: Sometimes, once you've tried everything and you walk away, you relize that's just what you needed to do all along. "If you love something, set it free. If it returns, it was always yours. If not, it was never ment to be." The only way you can fix this is to be strong. Tell him to seek counsling or you'll leave him. And, if he doesn't, LEAVE. Trust me, THAT and ONLY THAT will make him see the error in his ways. And, if you're smart, don't take his back until he's proved beyond the shadow of a doubt that he's changed and wants you as is. The stronger you are, the more a man will want you.
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Old 07-01-03   #10
velvet
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he sounds to me like a psycho and i dont know u aLL that weLL but im sure u deserve more then that honey!!

dump the littel fucker and just say "find someone more 'perfect'"
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Old 07-01-03   #11
Jasen
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From the viewpoint of a man:

When I love a woman, I accept everything that she is, and everything that she has done. I want only to make her happy and make her feel important. Because seeing her smile is what makes me happy.

When I love my dog, I discipline her to correct the behavior I don't like. I train her to act the way I want and reward her when she does good, punish her when she does bad. Because seeing her obey with absolute loyalty makes me happy.

Some men forget the difference between these two. What makes me the saddest, is when a woman does too.
Please remember, you will never be a pet.
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Old 07-01-03   #12
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nicely said jasen..i hope that gets a point across to her.
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Old 07-02-03   #13
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Quote:
Originally posted by Jasen
From the viewpoint of a man:

When I love a woman, I accept everything that she is, and everything that she has done. I want only to make her happy and make her feel important. Because seeing her smile is what makes me happy.

When I love my dog, I discipline her to correct the behavior I don't like. I train her to act the way I want and reward her when she does good, punish her when she does bad. Because seeing her obey with absolute loyalty makes me happy.

Some men forget the difference between these two. What makes me the saddest, is when a woman does too.
Please remember, you will never be a pet.

Whew.... that right there says it all. I'm impressed. *high fives*
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Old 07-15-03   #14
*psycotic lover*
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leave him please leave him

my mom was pysically mentally and emotionally abudes for nine years,
and everytime he said he was sorry and asked for forgivness
i hate seeing other girls in situations like this.
icant sy it will get better or worse but once you let him see he can control you and do such bad things to you and you stay with him
they will most likely get worse

there are people who will love you and always treat you right
they out there just be yourself and do the things your interested in and you will meet them and sooner or later mr right.
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Old 07-17-03   #15
*WeIrDGiRl*
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Quote:
Originally posted by *psycotic lover*
leave him please leave him

my mom was pysically mentally and emotionally abudes for nine years,
and everytime he said he was sorry and asked for forgivness
i hate seeing other girls in situations like this.
icant sy it will get better or worse but once you let him see he can control you and do such bad things to you and you stay with him
they will most likely get worse

there are people who will love you and always treat you right
they out there just be yourself and do the things your interested in and you will meet them and sooner or later mr right.

I'm still surrounded by this environment of abuse and cracking people down..i can't say much cuz' i'm tired, but words are bullshit...they say they'll change, and they don't..they only get used to the power and the situation, and it agravates, he yells more, hits harder, and respect melts to below zero..
u can stay with him and feel comfy in a world of fear and adjusting to the wrong influences, are u can listen to your true voice and our voice and LEAVE him before he hurts u even more...selfasteem's hard to rebuild..
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