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Old 07-14-01   #1
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SI:self injury

If you are a person, who cuts, bruises themselfs, burns, or any other type of self-injury, or self mutilation, please, come in. Please, share your experiences, preferences, stories, etc. with others. Come in if you need support, help, just need to talk to someone, or would like to help others with this very common infliction. It happens more than you think, don't turn the other way. Another thing I would like to ask, please do not come in here and make judgements upon others, if you are not a person who self injurs, you are welcome, but do not criticize, WE ALL HAVE OUR FLAWS. ok well, hope this helps at least a few people. Talk to you soon.

*~b0bBiAnN~*
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Old 07-14-01   #2
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I knew it would happen, eventually

I figured this type of post would appear sooner or later. I haven't decided if I'm going to post anything meaningful here yet, but maybe I will. Eventually. In the meantime, WTG bambam. Good thread.
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Old 07-14-01   #3
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thank you, I thought you were gonna say oh I thought this was gonna happen soon, you porr so and so's, thanx for the support hun!
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Old 07-14-01   #4
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Good luck

No problem.. I owe you anyway. You trudged through my posting on the poetry board and LIVED, so you deserve some type of recognition.
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Old 07-14-01   #5
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Hi bambam. I was a little surprised to see that something like this was posted. I am no longer suicidal, but I used to be. In that time I used to bang my head against the wall, cut myself, scratch my arms until they bled-- pretty much anything that signified how much I hated myself until I totally flipped one night and cut my wrists. My mom got me a psychiatrist and I thought that would help, but a month later, I was put in the psych ward when I tried to overdose. Finally, I got help and I'm okay now. The funny thing is, the therapy isn't what did it and it isn't the meds. It was the other people out there just like me. I met so many awesome people and I realized that if any of them had succeeded, I never would have met them and if I had succeded, I never would have met any of them. It scared the hell out of me. People need to know that they aren't alone. This is a good thread and I hope it helps a lot of people.
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Old 07-29-06   #6
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Quote:
Originally Posted by bitch View Post
Hi bambam. I was a little surprised to see that something like this was posted. I am no longer suicidal, but I used to be. In that time I used to bang my head against the wall, cut myself, scratch my arms until they bled-- pretty much anything that signified how much I hated myself until I totally flipped one night and cut my wrists. My mom got me a psychiatrist and I thought that would help, but a month later, I was put in the psych ward when I tried to overdose. Finally, I got help and I'm okay now. The funny thing is, the therapy isn't what did it and it isn't the meds. It was the other people out there just like me. I met so many awesome people and I realized that if any of them had succeeded, I never would have met them and if I had succeded, I never would have met any of them. It scared the hell out of me. People need to know that they aren't alone. This is a good thread and I hope it helps a lot of people.

Depression is a killer. It eats inside of you and confidence is drained as quick as the light fades from a room. I have cut myself using razorblades and it felt good at the time. That tingly feeling that you have released some pressure and the blood seems to feel cool and gentle.

I soon realise that I am not doing myself any favours. You end up with scars that hardly fade and it is only when summer comes around, that you can no longer wear tshirts like everyone else. I have got a way around that. I say I am into Smart/casual and this is why I wear shirts. I am able to wear a tshirt but the scars are still there. Not that noticable until you are close up but I prefer to wear shirts.

I am depressed more than ever. I have friends who seem to dance around me with idealism and they don't have a clue what I am going through. I say, they spend a week in my shoes and then come back to me with idealism.

All I can say is there are better ways of releasing stress. music and sex, fantasy and affection, is the safer ways.

I have consciously become a Goth and it is taking time to get other people to accept. I have shrugged off the Gothic Jokes.
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Old 07-14-01   #7
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I agree with bitch (sorry, that sounds really rude..)

I just think one thing people need to keep in mind though is that self-mutilation doesn't mean you're suicidal. I think that's really overlooked by a lot of people.
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Old 07-14-01   #8
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i dont cut myself. not really. i perfer to burn myself, with lighters and safty pins and cigarettes... yet i have a huge fear of burning to death. hmmm. anyways, im not one of these people that like to go around say "hey look at me i burn myself and can take the pain" usually i do it so i can feel. i have gotten to the point where i dont really care about anything anymore. i get so numb that when i burn myself it lets me know that i am still alive and that i do still exist. i have thought about killing myself lots of times but i never asked for help.... not really, one night at a friends house i found a piece of glass and while my "friends" were all talking or whatever i found a corner and tried to cut my wrists, but the glass was too dull or else i would of succeeded. my friends still dont know about what i was doing. im not sure i really want help. i think im too far gone for help. hm i dont know what else to say so i will shut up now....
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Old 07-14-01   #9
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I know exactly how you feel. When I cut myself it was because I just didn't care about myself anymore. I know the numb feeling too, it's like in that Iris song, you bleed just to know you're alive. Anyway, I don't know if it helps, but if you need someone to talk to, I'm always here. Oh, and medication can help if you want it. Believe it or not, almost no one can be too far gone to be helped. You don't have to feel this way.
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Old 07-14-01   #10
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they have tried putting me on prozac and paxil, but i have this thing where i hate taking pills. it makes me feel like its another thing thats wrong with me. im in and out of hospitals just about every other month because im diabetic and i cant seem to control it no matter how hard i try. everyone doesnt see me as a person. they see me as that sick girl. im tired of being peoples responsiblities because im sick all the time. i missed 126 days of school because every time i got a cold it would put me in the hospital, my "friends" stopped calling or hanging out with me because they are afraid something might happen to me. i hate being sick, and the pills they put me on didnt really seem to help either. if anything they made things worse because i would get all excited and happy about things. then let down because people didnt want the sick girl around in case something happend. i dont feel comfortable going into therapy cause they dont know me, and usually im pretty much a private person, im probably gonna regret writing all this later but right now i just have to get some things out before i explode...
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Old 07-14-01   #11
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It's not like I am going to discriminate. They had me on Paxil, but after the second incident they put me on prozac and that helped a lot. I started taking it in March and I feel perfectly fine now, even though I quit taking it two weeks ago. (secretly of course as an expirament) It sounds like you have a lot of health problems but getting depressed or hurting yourself isn't going to help any. If I were you, I'd tell my friends that they can either accept me for who and what I am, or I'd find new friends. If it's a friend you need, I'm always available. Believe me when I say this, you can get better. What's going on with your body is something you can't change, all you can do is let the doctors know what is going on with it and hope they can help. Your mind is a different story, only you can change that and you need to want help first. I'm sorry for not minding my own business if I made you feel alienated, but this is something I actually know about and I know how badly it hurts so I get kind of passionate about it. (Somehow that doesn't seem like the right word to use, but oh well). I hope you let someone help you. There is always Zoloft. Have you tried that? It takes a while for you body to get used to it, but it's definitely worth it to feel alive again.
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Old 07-14-01   #12
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well right now im living with my sister in florida, i just moved here about a week ago... things seem to be better. but not quite, im an extremely shy person, and i have this huge fear of leaving the house, i get panick attacks in the store because there are so many people. where ever i go though i seem to be out of place cause i have never really had a "home", just about every 6 years or so my family would move. so i never really felt like i belonged and i got to the point where i didnt need anyone anymore. if people cant execpt me for who i am oh well who needs them? but sometimes i just want to go out and actually be able to meet people my own age, and do normal things (i use the term normal loosly since there really is no such thing) but i have no idea how to do it. im tired of being me. but im not. i like that i can actually think for myself and not really care what other people think. but im tired of always being the outcast...
understand any of this? or should i just stop whining...
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Old 07-14-01   #13
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Again, I totally know how you feel. My mother moved us around so much that I keep expecting her to pick up and move us out to Alaska or something. The longest we've stayed in one town was five years and the longest we've lived in the same house was two years. Finally, my mother seems to have settled here. It's not my choice of places seeing as Minnesota is freezing in the Winter and hotter than hell in the summer, but at least I finally came out of my shell and quit worrying about other people. I'll admit, I do tend to worry more about what other people think of me than I worry about what I think of myself. It's always been that way. Oh, and that thing about being around other people is called social anxiety disorder. You can treat that naturally by staying out of crowds and away from people that make you nervous, or you can take medication for that too. Now I sound like I think pills are the magical cure for every problem, but it sounds like that is your main problem. If you got medicated for that, chances are you wouldn't need anti depressants.
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Old 07-14-01   #14
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thanks for listening me whine about my petty problems. and trying to help.
but i think im gonna shut up now before i say anything more that i know im going to regret later.
nothing personal, but like i said before im pretty much a private person. usually...
but thanks for trying to help i really do appreaciate it....
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Old 07-14-01   #15
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well, if you ever change your mind and you do decide you want to talk about it some more, or even if you just want to be friends, let me know. My e-mail is vickie_15_2000@yahoo.com . If you talk I'll listen and try to be helpful.
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Old 07-14-01   #16
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i cut maself w/ a play -doh knife...i hate it when every1 asks me: "how'd did u get those red marks!!!"
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Old 07-14-01   #17
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That's not funny.
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Old 07-14-01   #18
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thank you guys for opening up. I know it helped me out a lot. Um..its been about a week and a half for me. I just wanted to say thank you for making my thread a sucess. Um...cutting for me is a way to aleviate anxiety, and frustrations and pain out. Like if someone makes me mad, like my mom, and I can't do anything about it, I can't hurt her, I can't tell her off, instead of hurting her, I take all the shit I feel abou ther and take it out on myself. I feel so good after i do it. I am weird, but still, I don't do it everyday.

on a different side, I did a project on SI and i learned so much. Excessive nail biting right doen to the edge, so it hurts and occasionally bleeds is a form of SIV(self inflicted Violence) It helped me out a lot. I did some resarch and broadened my knowledge about the subject.

thank you all again for sharing. Its helping me.
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Old 10-05-07   #19
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well. i started cutting about 3 years ago.
when my grandmother found out.
i was put into therapy ..& on anti-depressants.
the therapy helped somewhat.
but i was off the meds after about three months
of going through about 4 different kinds.

once i got out of therapy i was fine.,
i had quit cutting
& i thought i was done.
that was until about two months ago.
i started again.
i couldnt take my grandmother's
constant criticism, it's like i'm never good
enough for her.
>>& now my cutting is worse than it
ever was.
a day or two ago
i carved the word "failure"
into my right leg.
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Old 07-14-01   #20
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Not to people that cut no. I was into hitting myself with things for years and Ive thought about cutting before but thats as far as its got.
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