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Old 09-05-17   #1
Wicked Lady
A Motherfuckin' Chainsaw
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Things from Internets Past v Modern Equivalents

Then: Iíd show you a picture, but I donít have a scanner.
Now: Iíd totes video chat with u but I donít have any data and my phone donít have a camera. Sorry, bae. xxxxx.
Translation: Iím fat and/or ugly. Iím the opposite gender of what I told you.

Then: My parents are the worst. They donít understand me and are always trying to make me into their perfect little princess.
Now: My parents are the worst. They dun recognize that Iím non-binary and r trying 2 label me.
Translation: I want everyone to know how special and different I am and treat me as such, except when I donít.

Then: Thatís it. Iím gone. Not that anyone will notice. Delete my account. This place is shit.
Now: Omg I am done. So done. Iím leaving Facebook/Twitter/Instagram.
Translation: Please beg me to stay. Please. Please. I need your validation in order to bolster my self worth.

Then: Youíre such an asstard. Shut up.
Now: You are a tool of the patriarchy and Iím sick of your micro aggressions.
Translation: I lost whatever argument we were having.

Then: Ha fucking jew fags.
Translation: I sometimes say stuff I donít mean because I know it will incite the crowd and I get to watch their anger boil over.

Now: Ha fucking jew fags.
Translation: No translation found. You have been e-lynched by the Twitter mafia. You no longer have a job. You no longer have a home. Anonymous has hacked you, and now everyone in the world has seen your dick and Snapchat interactions with a male prostitute named Sugar Pie.
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