So do you think this guy is a time traveler or what???


'TIME-TRAVELER' BUSTED FOR INSIDER TRADING
Wednesday March 19, 2003



By CHAD KULTGEN

NEW YORK -- Federal investigators have arrested an enigmatic Wall Street wiz on insider-trading charges -- and incredibly, he claims to be a time-traveler from the year 2256!

Sources at the Security and Exchange Commission confirm that 44-year-old Andrew Carlssin offered the bizarre explanation for his uncanny success in the stock market after being led off in handcuffs on January 28.

"We don't believe this guy's story -- he's either a lunatic or a pathological liar," says an SEC insider.

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.

"The only way he could pull it off is with illegal inside information. He's going to sit in a jail cell on Rikers Island until he agrees to give up his sources."

The past year of nose-diving stock prices has left most investors crying in their beer. So when Carlssin made a flurry of 126 high-risk trades and came out the winner every time, it raised the eyebrows of Wall Street watchdogs.

"If a company's stock rose due to a merger or technological breakthrough that was supposed to be secret, Mr. Carlssin somehow knew about it in advance," says the SEC source close to the hush-hush, ongoing investigation.

When investigators hauled Carlssin in for questioning, they got more than they bargained for: A mind-boggling four-hour confession.

Carlssin declared that he had traveled back in time from over 200 years in the future, when it is common knowledge that our era experienced one of the worst stock plunges in history. Yet anyone armed with knowledge of the handful of stocks destined to go through the roof could make a fortune.

"It was just too tempting to resist," Carlssin allegedly said in his videotaped confession. "I had planned to make it look natural, you know, lose a little here and there so it doesn't look too perfect. But I just got caught in the moment."

In a bid for leniency, Carlssin has reportedly offered to divulge "historical facts" such as the whereabouts of Osama Bin Laden and a cure for AIDS.

All he wants is to be allowed to return to the future in his "time craft."

However, he refuses to reveal the location of the machine or discuss how it works, supposedly out of fear the technology could "fall into the wrong hands."

Officials are quite confident the "time-traveler's" claims are bogus. Yet the SEC source admits, "No one can find any record of any Andrew Carlssin existing anywhere before December 2002."

Weekly World News will continue to follow this story as it unfolds. Keep watching for further developments.


Sounds a bit far fetched to me.... yet this guy is either the luckiest man alive or he is telling the truth.....

"But the fact is, with an initial investment of only $800, in two weeks' time he had a portfolio valued at over $350 million. Every trade he made capitalized on unexpected business developments, which simply can't be pure luck.


O_O .. wow

Millions upon millions of people each day are struggling through the fugging stock market, all trying to do what he did.

The odds of one person actually having it work out like that are millions, or perhaps even a billion, to one. Odds are the odds finally played out for someone.

As for not knowing who he is, that can easily be dealt with by having lost all previous information pertaining to the person. A fire actually occured in a records place, and for a few years I ceased to legally exist according to that office.

.. would you take it?

I would not be so greedy as to take 350 million, but a 10 million and I could quit my job and live like Hugh Hefner.

Reminds me of "12 Monkeys".

Now all we need is a schiztophrenic Brad Pitt.

If he is in fact a time traveller do you think he'd be stupid enough to tell the government?

Do you think that the government would let a real time traveller wander back to his ship and leave?

Nope, he's a nutcase

A nutcase that turned 800$$ into 850Million in two weeks.... must be one hell fo a once in a lifetime lucky ass nutcase.... lol.....

Howard Hughes was another unbelievably succesful nutcase, I wonder if there is a connection