Purity Balls - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

Synikul · **Purity Balls -** 03-26-07

Quote:

No sex please, we're daddy's little girls

WASHINGTON (AFP) - It has all the ingredients of a wedding. The proud tuxedo-clad father, the frosted white cake, the limousines and an exchange of vows.

But there is no groom and the girl in the long gown is no bride. She's daddy's little girl, there to take a vow of chastity.

In what is becoming a trend among conservative Christians in the United States, girls as young as nine are pledging to their fathers to remain virgins until they wed, in elaborate ceremonies dubbed "Purity Balls."

The gala affairs are intended to celebrate the father-daughter relationship.

The highlight is when the fathers and daughters exchange vows, with dad signing a covenant to protect his daughter's chastity by living an unblemished life and the daughter promising not to have sex until marriage.

Many fathers at the ceremonies also slip "purity rings" around the finger of their misty-eyed daughters or offer them "chastity bracelets" and other jewelry that the girls can entrust to their husbands on their wedding night.

"The father makes a pledge that he is going to keep his mind pure and be faithful to her mother and there is also a time when there is a conversation about putting the right kinds of things in your mind, such as the father not using pornography," Leslee Unruh, founder of Abstinence Clearinghouse, a leader in the so-called purity movement, told AFP in describing the balls.

She said some 1,400 Purity Balls were held across the United States in 2006, mainly in the south and midwest, and double that number were expected to take place this year.

Mike Parcha, who recently attended one of these balls with his 11-year-old daughter Lora in the western state of Colorado, said the events reinforce his family's Christian beliefs.

"We realize that purity is a lifestyle, not an event, and this is just a celebration of that lifestyle and of that relationship that I have with my daughters," he said. "The ball is a culmination of the relationship we have with God and with each other."

He said his three daughters have looked forward to attending the balls and have no qualms about pledging to remain virgins until marriage.

"They are just all for it, they think it's the greatest thing," said Parcha, 43, who is a college math teacher. "We raise our children as Christians, we share the same beliefs .... and we're on the same page.

"It's not like there is a tug of war of any kind going on."

His two older daughters, aged 11 and 18, have attended the balls while the youngest, aged 4, must wait a few years. The three girls, along with their three brothers, are all home schooled. Parcha's oldest daughter Christy, who recently graduated from high school, is now working on a fictional book about "the emotional purity of a young girl as she grows up."

The first Purity Ball in the United States was organized in 1998 by Generations of Light, a popular Christian ministry based in Colorado Springs, Colorado.

Randy Wilson, who runs the ministry with his wife, said the idea was to create an event that celebrates the bonds between father and daughter.

"We saw that in our culture there wasn't a place for the father to work for a good relationship with his daughter," Wilson told AFP. "So this (relationship) allows the daughter to become a stronger person in her culture as she is bombarded with all the sexual images that are out there."

Wilson, who has five daughters, said the balls have become so popular over the years that there is now a waiting list for those wishing to attend.

Enquiries are also pouring in from aboard with organizations or churches in New Zealand, Britain and other countries asking for guidance on how to organize such gatherings.

The popularity of the balls in the United States, especially among evangelical Christians, mirrors the Bush administration's support of abstinence education in US schools. The government's funding for such initiatives has more than doubled in recent years to 206 million dollars (150 million euros).

But critics say that while teaching abstinence to children may be laudable, it is just as essential to make them aware of sexually transmitted diseases and condom use.

They also point to studies showing that the majority of adolescents who take purity pledges break them within a few years, often by engaging in risky and unprotected sex.

One study conducted by researchers at the universities of Columbia and Yale found that 88 percent of pledgers wind up having sex before marriage.

"Unfortunately these young people tend, once they start to have sex, to have more partners in a shorter period of time and to use contraception much less than their non-pledging peers," said Debra Hauser, executive vice president at Advocates for Youth, a Washington-based non-profit organization.

"Teens may pledge with the best of intention... and then as they break their pledges they are so shamed and embarrassed that it's unlikely they will go for help."

http://news.yahoo.com/s/afp/20070322...eussexchastity

Discuss.

Cally · 03-26-07

that's pretty awful, that right there. when the pendulum swings back the other way it's gonna have to swing waaaaay out there to make up for this kind of shit.

Wicked Lady · 03-26-07

SOOOOOOOOOO not what I thought this thread would be about.

I had a friend in high school named Alison. Her dad gave her a promise ring under quite the same circumstances. Did it work? Fuck no. 9th grade when Tim Wright grew into his head.. she was flat on her back.

Billy the Kidd · 03-26-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Cally

that's pretty awful, that right there. when the pendulum swings back the other way it's gonna have to swing waaaaay out there to make up for this kind of shit.

Those stupid fuckin rednecks and thier stupid fucking cultural and religious morality eh? Why the SHIT cant they just fucking embrace NAMBLAA and Teen abortions like the rest of us god hating intelligensias eh? Fuck I am going to go burn a church now ot make myself feel better. HAHA TAKE THAT OPPRESSORS!

thefr0g · 03-27-07

Oh come on Billy, you know that shit is ridiculous.

Shok · 03-27-07

So would they buy a car without first taking a test-drive I wonder?

"Yessir, that'n looks alwight. I'll take it now."

Wicked Lady · 03-27-07

I'm grateful to have heathen parents. My mother always made it clear to me that sex was an important part of a relationship, and that sexual problems can lead to other problems between a man and a woman.

These poor girls. What if they man they marry is some freakish deviant?

And I'm curious as to how many of these girls actually honor that vow.

Billy the Kidd · 03-27-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by thefr0g

Oh come on Billy, you know that shit is ridiculous.

Why? Why is it ridiculous for a father to be the main man in his young daughters life when she needs him the most? I would say that the sort of ceremony behind it isnt something I would personally do, but I dont think the intent behind what they do is ridiculous. I think its actually a pretty nobel thing to do for a father for his daughter. Every girl I have ever met who was a total mess had a father who didnt give a rats ass about her or who left... Father is an important figure in a young kids life, especially for girls who base thier future decisions on men for relationships on thier fathers relationship with them growing up wether they realize it or not.

Billy the Kidd · 03-27-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wicked Lady

I'm grateful to have heathen parents. My mother always made it clear to me that sex was an important part of a relationship, and that sexual problems can lead to other problems between a man and a woman.

These poor girls. What if they man they marry is some freakish deviant?

And I'm curious as to how many of these girls actually honor that vow.

Supposedly Jessica Simpson, and if she is a representitive of these girls I say yes please

Wicked Lady · 03-27-07

As a vagina-bearer, I have to say this is one of the stupidest ideas I've come across in a while. If a girl will lie to her parents about being at the library, what makes you think she'll honor a vow of abstinence until marriage?

What if she doesn't get married til she's 30? Do you really think it's conceivable that she'll NEVER engage in any sexual activity?

Billy the Kidd · 03-27-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wicked Lady

As a vagina-bearer, I have to say this is one of the stupidest ideas I've come across in a while. If a girl will lie to her parents about being at the library, what makes you think she'll honor a vow of abstinence until marriage?

What if she doesn't get married til she's 30? Do you really think it's conceivable that she'll NEVER engage in any sexual activity?

I am sure some would and some wouldnt. I would be satsfied though if i had a daughter and she kept it in her pants until at least college. And I have a whole slew of plans if i am ever a father to a little girl to keep her away from being able to lie to me anyway. Its called athletics, a part time job and other activities I can check up on.

Wicked Lady · 03-27-07

I did soccer, jazz ensemble, NHS, Beta Club, part time job, and still managed to bump uglies with Eric Turner.

Billy, if there's a will there's a way. My uncle went and got a CDL so he could drive my cousin's church group bus. He caught her making out with a dude topless in the back seat. It can be done. It IS done.

Wicked Lady · 03-27-07

And furthermore, isn't preaching safe and responsible sex a little more logical than preaching abstinence?

Billy the Kidd · 03-27-07

Then i guess the will will have to be curbed.

Safe responsible sex to a young girl? No. I dont think so. I dont buy into it. Sorry.

(antihero) · 03-27-07

If you do in fact have a daughter, I expect to be seeing you on Forensic Files in the future

SaturnAscends · 04-19-07

Safe sex is waaay more detrimental than just not caring, sometimes, I think. Instead of handing these chick condoms why don't you just give them vibrators and tell them how lube it up to fit in their ass, I mean there is really nothing you can do to stop it. Nothing. Abstinence is a beautiful thing but for it to work it has to be a personal thing, not a third-party vendetta from a Dad that lost his virginity when he was seven, and the fact is most of these chicks running around with three or four kids by the time they hit 21 actually wanted kids and still enjoy being mothers. Not to be offtopic but, I think the important issue is not safe sex or abstinence but stern, and vigorously enforced child support laws, considering my father still owes us $19.000 + and I'm 22 years old, and they only dock his check for a measly $15 a week. I've been abstinent for a while now, 3 or 4 years, not because I'm not a horndog, because I truly am, and not because I don't enjoy the female body, because I do, but because I know damn fucking well my robo-tripping, mushroom eating, pot smoking, schizophrenic ass can't take care of no damn child. So it's a personal thing, and because it's a personal thing I followed through with it, so I say just let it go. Do like they do with drugs nowadays, let the kids experiment, if they dislike it, they'll get over it, if they like it, they were probably gonna go do it anyways. Drakfroum ftw.

~G~ · 04-24-07

Quote:

Originally Posted by Wicked Lady

I did soccer, jazz ensemble, NHS, Beta Club, part time job, and still managed to bump uglies with Eric Turner.

Billy, if there's a will there's a way. My uncle went and got a CDL so he could drive my cousin's church group bus. He caught her making out with a dude topless in the back seat. It can be done. It IS done.

I know what WL is talking about because I remember seeing it first-hand. When I was about 14 or so and at that point still being asked to attend church with the family, which included occasionally going to the youth group, there were two kids whose families were pretty prominent in the church and involved in a lot of things and one of the dads was even an ordained minister. Someone from their families seemed always to be around a lot. When I saw them they were always hanging all over each other and it wasn't long before neither of them showed up for a while and the next thing I knew I found out Sheri was pregnant.

I think both views are kind of extreme and maybe middle ground is better. I mean, the reality is that kids are going to learn about sex in some way, shape or form and I think it's probably better to say "do your best to wait, but in the event that you don't, here is how to protect yourself". Believe it or not, I lean toward them waiting, and I don't think Billy's idea about until college was insane (how often it would work is a different story). Kids get pushed to grow up way to fast in this world as it is these days, though it's often hard to explain the consequences of having sex before they're ready for it in all ways to another person and have them fully comprehend that without having to experience it themselves.

Also I think kids getting involved in activities is very important. Sports, clubs, and jobs do more than just keep them from being tempted to have sex. It prepares them for real life and gives them stuff to build confidence, etc. with too.

Tozzy · 04-27-07

i'd rather spend the time teaching my daughter the benefits of sex, safe sex, looking after yourself, keeping clean, (sti/std + personal hygiene) and how to judge whether it's right to have sex with the boy you like or not.

i think proper education and communication is alot more important than just "sex is bad mmmkay"

i'd rather my child had the knowledge to make their own decisions properly than just fear me and what i'd say if they decided in the future to have sex.

i'm sure you'd agree, a stronger bond is made with understanding than fear.

fear may be powerful, but knowledge can more powerful than fear.