*BSNN Headline News*
How much do you really know about Islam, the religion of peace? Throughout the Western world, confusion regarding the tenets of the "one True Faith" breeds mistrust and hatred. Finally, courtesy of CAIR—The Council on American Islamic Relations, information about Islam is available to everyone: introducing Trivial Islamic Pursuit, new from Parkhouf Brothers—a fast-paced, wholesome, family-oriented game that combines fun with learning. Here's just a sample of the kind of thought-provoking but lighthearted questions you can enjoy while exploring Islam with your family and friends.
1. Failure to achieve martyrdom during jihad results in which of the following punishments in the afterlife?
a) Having one's body smeared with pork fat and being locked in a cage with a pack of rabid Tasmanian devils?
b) Being confined for eternity in a room wallpapered with posters of all Israeli leaders since Ben-Gurion while the hava nagila is played endlessly at high decibel levels?
c) Becoming Hanan Ashwari's stud for eternity?
d) Becoming Yasser Arafat's bitch for eternity?
2. Chapter 43, Verses 1-23 in the Koran deal with what main principle of Islam?
a) the cyclical rate of fire of the Kalashnikov AK-47?
b) proper wife-beating techniques to ensure long-term docility?
c) the difficulty of servicing all 72 sloe-eyed virgins on a nightly basis?
d) how to prevent that rash from spreading?
3. Based on their contributions to Islam, select one of the following groups as most deserving of Paradise :
a) Mohammed, Sulayman the Magnificent, and Kemal Ataturk?
b) Osama bin Laden, Yasser Arafat, and Omar the Tentmaker?
c) Louis Farrakhan, Omar Sharif, and Cat Stevens?
4. Given that Islam is widely recognized as The Religion of Peace, how do you explain to an non-believer the obvious incongruities between the Koran's extolling of violence against infidels (and its derivative guarantees of Paradise via martyrdom) with Islam's peaceful side?
a) No stinking explanations—kill all infidels!
b) You must accept the True Faith or I will introduce you
to my friend RPG. God is Great!
c) Allah Akbar—that says it all for me!
d) Being an uneducated buggerer of cloven-hoofed beasts, I choose to leave the complicated theological questions to my mullah and simply kill anyone he points out as a bad person.
5. Islam demands that the True Warrior make jihad. If the United States attacks Irag, will you make jihad and die for the one True Faith?
a) If the U.S. military attacks? You're shitting me, my friend! I got no quarrel with the U.S. Military.
b) Saddam who? Nobody goes to Paradise for being stupid!
c) You mean fight against real soldiers...who shoot back? Why do you think we run from the IDF?
d) My annual pilgrimage is coming up—my plate is full for the next ten years or so-can I get back to you on that?
Pick up your copy of Trivial Islamic Pursuit at a convenience store near you-do it today!
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