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ArSiNiK · **got milk?, california -** 11-01-02

Quote:

It may not be long before you can add another stop to next year’s California vacation. Not only will you be able to visit Disneyland, the Golden Gate Bridge, and Yosemite National Park, you might be able to stop off in Got Milk? before heading home to torture the neighbors with the 1,247 hours of video you shot. At least you will if the California Milk Processing Board has its way.
In their quest to honor the “Got Milk?” ad campaign’s 10th anniversary, the board’s advertising agency sent a letter to 20 small towns across California proposing that they change their name to Got Milk?. This is strange since the proper gift for a 10th anniversary is tin, and milk comes in cartons, not cans. Except evaporated milk, which sounds more like what we should call powdered milk, and condensed milk, which should be reserved for drinking while reading Cliff’s Notes or Reader’s Digest. In return for making their town sound incredibly goofy, the ad agency promised instant notoriety, the honor of being the focus of next year’s ad campaign, an undetermined contribution to the school system, and a Got Milk? Museum, which could easily supplant the world’s largest ball of used dental floss as a reason to venture out of the house next summer.
The mayor of Biggs was the only one to respond, which isn’t surprising since it takes a very special person to want to run a town with punctuation in its name. Someone who perhaps takes after Dick Crow, the mayor of Half.com, Oregon, possibly the only town in the country with a period in its name, even if they do pronounce it “dot.”

Now it’s true that when the Internet company by the same name contacted them, Half.com didn’t have as radical a name change to make as Biggs does, since it had been known for years as Halfway. And it’s also true that they probably should have bargained harder, since 20 computers, $75,000 for civic improvements, and “a prize to be raffled at the county fair” was all it took to get them to go along with the Internet company’s publicity plan. But they shouldn’t feel bad. They can count their blessings that when eBay bought Half.com the town wasn’t a part of the deal. And that they weren’t forced to change their name yet again, this time to eBay, which would have meant they could never hold an auction there without some high-powered corporate lawyers threatening to beat up their puny municipal lawyers.
The idea to become Got Milk? could yet be rejected by the Biggs City Council when they meet on November 18th. If that happens, the California Milk Processing Board might consider buying their own town. You know, like say Amboy, California. Tim White, who owns Roy’s Cafe and Motel as well as the town, has put it up for sale. The town, not the cafe. For a low, low $1.9 million the Milk Board could pick up a town with a population of 10, a gas station, a motel, a church, an airplane hanger, a half dozen houses, and a post office. So what if the self-proclaimed “crustiest, dustiest gas stop on all of Route 66” bakes at 120 degrees during the summer, they’ll have milk. I mean, Got Milk?

there's nothing like the power of advertising...

Count Crapula · **Re: got milk?, california -** 11-01-02

Quote:

Originally posted by ArSiNiK
there's nothing like the power of advertising...

"...since 20 computers, $75,000 for civic improvements, and “a prize to be raffled at the county fair” was all it took to get them to go along with the Internet company’s publicity plan...."

I'd change my name for 20 computers and $75K. Shit, I'd change it for a used Yugo and a case of Heiniken...

ArSiNiK · 11-01-02

really? my buddy has an old yugo and i'm sure i can scrounge around for a case of heiniken...

Count Crapula · 11-01-02

sweet...

Keeper of Life · 11-02-02

Quote:

Originally posted by ArSiNiK
really? my buddy has an old yugo and i'm sure i can scrounge around for a case of heiniken...

a good finnish brew is heiniken

ArSiNiK · 11-04-02

ugh.. i hate heiniken, it tastes like bitter dog piss.

Keeper of Life · 11-04-02

Thats why its brewed in Álloh the swedish province of finland... blame the swedes not us.

ArSiNiK · 11-04-02

bah, all you butter churners are to blame.

Keeper of Life · 11-04-02

i thought you were president of the butter churners society?

Infact isn't that a I LUV BUTTER CHURNERS bumper sticker on your car?

ArSiNiK · 11-04-02

i'm not even finnish.. how can i be president?

Keeper of Life · 11-05-02

Of the international society... i mean.

ArSiNiK · 11-05-02

the international society of butter churners?

i'm thinking that if you changed the butter churners to beer drinkers, you might be on to something.

Keeper of Life · 11-05-02

sorry the germans have that proud title... its a well know fact that we europeans can hold our beer better than anyone else...

Dark Messiah · 11-05-02

You haven't met enough Mexicans.

ArSiNiK · 11-05-02

Quote:

Originally posted by Dark Messiah
You haven't met enough Mexicans.

actually the guy i know that can hold the most alcohol is serbian. that mother fucker will stay up drunk for two days straight.