Darkforum: Poem of the Month - August

This months theme: Summertime
(It's a wide subject... everything from swimming pools, to summer sun, to fresh cut grass, use your imagination and be creative.)

-one entry per member
-post poems to this thread.
-results will be announced during the first week of the following month.
-no length limit.

Does one entry mean one poem? Or however many poems you can fit into one entry?

one poem.

And the winner will receive a one month overlord subscription at Df.

who's judging is all i want to know...

Mainly, me. There may be consulting with other inividuals at my discretion. It'll be fair to everyone, no worries.

A withering flame
draws life from Spring's canopy
and calls for decay.

c'mon, guys... POST! there's only a few days left.

Hmmm.. well we will be definitely handing out one to a promised past participant.

Only a few days left. Someone needs to post something... come on folks... get it in gear

Sleep!
So Tired!
Daily Life Dwindling!
My Sleep is comforting!
Then Comes Morning!
Life Begins!
Awake!

that's... interesting. don't really see the summer bit, but... interesting.

yeah....ill agree on that...interesting but lacking summer. its like waking up for school. or something.

how pathetic- I know you can do better than that.

sadly, he cant. one entry per person.

my submission: (yes its an irregular setup, but i prefer to write in an irregular setup.)

Tangerine flames in cerulean seas.
I close my eyes and fall asleep in the shade,
whispers of crickets on the evening breeze.
What happened to my bright sunny day?

Dwelling on summers past,
sprinklers, no school, late nights.
I felt like those days would always last.
I must soak up the last dwindling daylight.

Close your eyes and open the other senses.
What do you hear?
The joyous cries of children freed from the toil of school reaches my ears.
What do you smell?
The tangy scent of barbequed chicken, corn, hamburgers fills the air. The air is alive with spices.
What do you taste?
The sweet arctic cold tea washes over my tongue and I bite on the ice with a satisfying crunch.
What do you feel?
The warm breeze ruffles the leaves and glides across my skin, playfully tossing my hair across my face.

Can there be a more glorious moment than this?
The abusive chill winter air I can no longer recall,
Sweet days made up for the cold, leaving the skin sunkissed,
The perfumed night air and approaching fall.

Rapidity.

Someone who could imagine that one day he would become a man
And as the rapid time flows so does the earth

hmm... (thinking about the poem, not trying to influence or anything)... you know, i think it was fine until that third stanza... then you kind of turned into a grocery store commercial... heh.

youre looking at it wrong. try this....after each section there in the 3rd part, close your eyes like it says and imagine it ok? dont look at it like its a commercial cos its not. its a poem. do more than read it.

when i close my eyes that whats i see from my summers past.

Submissions for Poem of the Month - September

This months theme: Open.

Go for whatever theme or catagory you like. Write something new that touches you. Have fun with it.

-one entry per member
-post poems to this thread.
-results will be announced during the first week of the following month.
-no length limit.

Lily ignore him. I thought your poem worked for what it was supposed to do. Some people around here use the SAME criticism every single time for every single poem because they have nothing nice to say. If you like your poem and it means something to you then it works as intended. Dont worry what some fools on the interweb think. Writing like pain is deeply personal.

......


thanx. *nods and smiles*