Okay, so here I am, out on the piss on saturday night, having a really nice buzz from my Brown ale and Jack daniel chasers when some little emo cunt-fuck bell-end wanders up to me and says "Ew! You're not a very good drinker are you." What the fuck is that supposed to mean? Not a very good drinker? Is drinking a fucking art form now? So I have to put a fucking brown ale bottle to my mouth a different way in order to look like a good drinker? What the fuck is this girl smoking?

I wondered for a second what my best mate would do as she had already gone home at that point because she was tired and the poor lass had to work early the next day.

So I decided to try and be nice and maybe, share some common ground. Music. Everyone loves music. So I tell her that I love The Dickies. She says "Ew! They are crap and everyone that listens to them are fucking losers! You're not a loser now are you?"

Well pardon the fuck me! I figured that I shouldn't dignify that with an answer because I was drunk so instead, I put my cigarette out in her glass of wine.



I have made a decision to headbutt the little shit next time I'm out. It may not stop her from being a little fuckwit but at least it will make me happy for a few minutes.

Ah glass of wine. Just your typical wannabe sophisticate trendy.

I'll drink with you next time I'm in northern England, Lens. And we'll drink reallllllllllllllly good.

I want to drink REALLLLLLLLLLLLLLY good with you Megsy... *A mint plan*
So why the fuck are you leaving America then?

you should have booted that lassie in the puss likes. man i want jack d's now.

damn df being slow and not taking my posts in. that shit's hilarious well done. i hope little miss up herself emo bitch gets what's comin.

do i get invited up for the pissup?

i've decided i'm most probably gonna move up north once i've finished uni. cheaper life than down by london.

well, that's if i can pass uni and get a job up thar...

You and Spikess are invited to the north (Or the south because Spikess is a clan member up there in the highlands and stuff) fot a nice drink with me and Megsy.

Think I mightspill my drink on that lass accidently on purpose..... Nah because that would be a waste of Brown ale... I'm still going to headbutt the little dickhole.

She had an annoying voice too... Like a fire engine siren... When she laughed it was a few octives higher so only dogs could hear.
AND the little fucking cunt thought it was funny to stand in the toilets when I was in a cubicle taking a massive horse piss, ranting at this poor casualy she caught when she was on her way out and fucking wait for me to finish, wash my hands and re-apply my lipstick in my drunken way, just to... And get this....

She asked me:

"Do you have a cigarette or three I can borrow?"

I gave her one and she looked at it like it was a drab of cyinide and said "EW! REGAL!?! YOU CAN KEEP IT!"

So I politely snatched it back and refrained from flushing her head down the fucking toilet!!!!

LITTLE FUCKING EMO CUNT-FACE BASTARD FUCKING WHOREBAG TWATING... GRRRRRRRRRLKHN:GOISDHGB:ODSGJHB@OG@JBOGB@KJFSF@L FUCKERRRRRRR!

if you see her again, humiliate that bitch in the most public space you can.

if she does the same with the cigarette, stuff it up her nose.

I would love to stuff my fist up her nose...

I think I may just swear at her all the time... That tends to work with most people that piss me off....

Then I'll headbutt the little slappa.

You keep being a bitch to this girl, and she keeps following you around? I think she wants your twat.

that's another thought.

perhaps you should scream really fucking loudly-

"I DON'T WANT TO EAT YOUR PUSSY!!!!"

and punch her in the face. when she comes out with that bullshit.

Everyone wants my twat these days... I hate being so fucking amazing...

Screaming and running usually does the trick.

Or hand the emo a razor and a how-to guide.

make it a rusty one.