Hello,

Every few days or so I'll be writing a daily article. Like I said, I don't write these on a daily basis because I do have somewhat of a life and I'd prefer living it. So without any other small talk, I'd like to introduce you to my first article "As God as my witness".


As God as my witness
I hate books.

Today - actually, about twenty minutes ago - I was trying to hold an intelligent conversation with a female "friend" of mine. She's intelligent, I'll admit that. Though she seems to believe she is far more intelligent than she actually is. Sometimes I wouldn't mind putting a pencil in her eye.

[throughout this article you'll learn more about this young woman. I'd like to make sure you know about her as I bitch about her quite often. It's the best thing I can do since murder is illegal]

So we were having a nice conversation. It was going quite well. Just a bunch of small talk and random thoughts pulled together to create a decent online conversation. Anyway, I blurted out "I think I'll write a book. About aliens. And the meaning of life... And maybe about a guy who can't handle the truth of life so he kills himself at the end". I knew I shouldn't have said that because she's likely to say something like "And how would you know what the meaning of life is? And I can handle the truth of life and I haven't killed myself". And yes, she said almost the same thing. I wish I didn't say that upon reflection of the conversation. But at the time, I couldn't resist... It's great fun to tell her off (which I did do).

As this pussy-fight continued, we got into talking about how I've never read a full novel in my life. She seems to think you can't write a book - or anything for that matter - without reading books in your life. Even though I proved her wrong by writing countless award-winning short stories and many loved articles (such as this one), I let this fight go on. I was having too much fun to let this one go without a good laugh.

[by now you should know she's a book-worm and idiot]

This was quite a fun conversation until we reached the half-way toll booth. This girl always seems to get worked up over nothing. I mean, seriously, a conversation about me (jokingly) saying I want to write a book escalated into this. Thanks to her. So by the time we were half way through this conversation, I wasn't having fun. I was getting pissed. But I still refused to tell her I already proved her wrong because I wanted to see if she'd make any good points. Her best, which was still incorrect, was that you can't appreciate human words and the English language without reading. Although this was a decent point, it's incorrect. I appreciate human words and the English language by using it properly. The ironic part of that statement was how she said it... "u cant appreciate teh human words and english language w/out reading"... Yes, that's how she said it. As God as my witness, the next person to talk to me in that mindless 'net lingo way is getting a knife in their chest.

I wish people would realize the best inventions are made by accident. You don't have to use talent to create something great. You jinx yourself soon enough anyway. It's like when you see one of those idiots who obsess about driving safe. They won't start their car without making sure everyone in the car has their seat-belt securely fastened, they have multiple airbags which must be correctly placed inside the dash board (or wherever they put it), and they never drive while eating or talking on a cell phone. Well guess what happens to these people? They get hit by a car. The irony is so great.

This whole article is pointless. I'm not even going to finish this because you should get the point by now. The point is this: don't be a hypocrite. Don't tell me to appreciate the English language if you can't spell out the word "you" while chatting online. Don't call me suicidal and then kill yourself. You get the point.

End.


Random Thoughts

- Water tastes bad.

- A penny saved is not a penny earned.

- I'm not planning on eating pie for a while.

- Dumb people do dumb things. Smart people outsmart each other.


Daily Music Selection

System of a Down - (self titled)
Review - Very good album. The lyrics of SOAD are some of the best out there. Read them thoroughly... It takes time to understand them. SOAD's best album is their first. It has a good mix of punk, metal, and trance (well, whatever). The music is great in my opinion. But SOAD is the kind of band you either hate or love. Please love them.


End.


Thank you for a great day,

God Vs. Dubya

you know i almost read this.

u r totalie right.

Hello,


You are the core of my hate.


Thank you for a great day,

God Vs. Dubya

i am the core of your hate? hmmm and you don't even know me. Guess i just started out well and proved your idiocy right off the bat. Well it was either me or Arsinik that did it...nevermind, you proved it yourself

Hello,


Not you. The other one.

I prove my idiocy through my own methods. I don't need your help on that subject... I'm quite well at it myself. But if you ever need help with proving your idiocy, let me know. I'll be happy to help. Hell, I'll do it even if you don't ask. No need to thank me, I'm just happy to be of service.


Thank you for a great day,

God Vs. Dubya

i'd like to see you try and prove it. could prove interesting

to be honest with you. i have nothing to say to you. it is not something that is good or bad. just to let you know.


................

Hello,


You're not as much of an idiot as others. But you're an idiot to actually believe there is no trace of idiocy inside you. Let's not play God. Everyone is stupid. And yes, even you are. Even I am, believe it or not. We are all stupid bastards living on this stupid rock running in circles around our stupid star.

I could care less about how stupid you actually are. I've read two sentences that you've written. Yet I know so much about just from studying those simple, stupid sentences. But I'm probably way off. How stupid of me. But you never learn (destroying more of the stupid inside you) if you don't guess. The correct way isn't always being correct. I could spend seventeen lifetimes trying to find the answer to an equation. Day after day, week after week, month after month... I would erase the chalk board and begin all over again every time I was wrong. If I guessed, and then was proven wrong, at least I know what the answer isn't. Stupid bastards.


Thank you for a great day,

God Vs. Dubya

yeesh... system of a down???

yeesh....

they really....

really....

really...

suck...

and not like hot girl suck either...

more like chimpanzee on the dick suck....

I don't know why, but I hate God Vs. Dubya already.

well something about him is making me feel a little bit unconfortable. but i'm not going judge this guy or anything like that. i'm willing to give him a chance. i'll think about it though. or i could be smart just to stay away.

No, no. He definately sucks ass.

For once i think I might agree with you..... and I barely ever come to those conclusions based on one post..... well I lie... I am a judgemental bastard I am...

that proves everything

so you hate him all together with out getting to know this guy. i think that i'll just stick to my safe side.

bah....

let your anger loose.... this is the bitch forum after all

Hell, I'd hate him even if this wasn't the bitch forum.

Hello,


Explain.

Listen to Lunatic, guys. He's definitely smart as hell and should be followed in such a way that Jesus was. Obviously, he should be our new lord and savior. Perhaps he the son of God. I honestly don't care. I'll worship him no matter how much I don't know about him and no matter how stupid he most likely is. I love you, Lunatic.

I'm going to have to agree with you on that one.

Everything and nothing.

No... Listen to Lunatic. He's the enlightened one here. He'll show you the way. If he says I'm an evil bastard, I must be. Worship him. Give him your heart. Give him 10% of your salary. Devote your life to him. For he his God.


I'm going to have fun here. I'm feared by some, hated by others. Maybe some day I'll make an actual friend! Oh, how I pray Lunatic will be my friend.


Thank you for a great day,

God Vs. Dubya