This month I learned that McDonalds use pig fat in their milkshakes, and battenburgs have dead beatles in them...I'm not veggie, yet I'm freaked out.

should be. not so much as all the muslims who drink milkshakes though

Next you're going to tell me that pizza contains dead babies!

Well.. It wouldn't surprise me.

SHADDAP!!!

I refuse to believe that the food of the gods contains baby entrails!

Ok honey, for a start it aint food of the gods, that's hummus

I lurve hummous, but what about the baby chick peas???

fuck em, not alive!

What's the fun in fucking something dead?

it's a chickpea, it has no penis you dirty dirty slut.

It's also a pulse thingy... ok - where's the nearest therapist?

OO - that reminds me, have you ever noticed that the word therapist is made up of the words The and Rapist?

doesn't surprise me.

I have to put the rubbish out at like 6am, it's fucking ridiculous.

Put it out now, and forget about it?

cats'll get it, although there isnt any meat in there...
will they want leftover chips?

But all the reporters will be sifting through it overnight...

doubtful, very doubtful.

My cat's eat anything cept spring onions, I tried, I failed.

just eat spring onions then..?

Sure - that'll smell nice!

I don't care, I don't live with you.