...in dreams the worst thing i have to deal with is a flat tire or a demon trying to devour my internal organs.

...in dreams there are women in this conservative burg who can see through my cold, arrogant facade and still want to sleep with me.

...in dreams my cat doesn't throw up on my dvd remote, thereby rendering it useless.

...in dreams, i don't have to balance the bills that are coming with the paycheck that might disappear at any moment.


...in dreams....



*sigh*

rough day?

rough day... rough year... rough decade.

bah, just feeling mopey and listless. a mentor of mine... she says its because i think too much. probably true.

apparently you can tell a person who thinks from someone who doesnt..the person who doesnt usualy has a big cheesy grin on their face.

hmm... interesting point.

'ignorance is often bliss,' but that's easy to say when you're not blissful.

it reminds me of the ending to Pi... would i be happy that way? could i? is there a point where thought becomes the burden? is there a balancing point that can be made?

hmmm...

all this thinking, loads of blegh...

i try not think, but my brains against me.

read a book, play a game..that usualy keeps me cheery for a while!

can't really, im at work...

the problem is i'm feeling very social at the moment, but the kind of social i want is just the kind of social i can't get at the moment.

my current daydream (heh) is to be in bed with a wonderful woman (and i mean just laying there... though the other would be nice)... i need contact... physical contact, that's not necessarily sexual, but IS intimate.

So alike are we...

i think its a byproduct of our egoistic minds (and i mean all of humanity, to some degree or another)...

we are individuals in an ocean of individuals... we see others and, conciously or otherwise, that makes us long to commune with them on a higher level... as such, it drives our need for intimacy.

...

of course, everything i've just said could be a fallacy based upon learned knowledge instead of experiential/intrinsic(?) (something society tells us we want instead of something we want on our own).

that and sociopaths don't seem to need intimacy... they may use it, but if you cannot care for others or feel empathy, how can you be truely intimate with someone else? perhaps they (or me, if i AM one) just leech the intimacy from others as a means to an end.



shit... i've got to stop thinking.

is intimacy even possible?

time to look at our definitions...

dictionary.com gives this series for the root word:

in·ti·mate1 ( P ) Pronunciation Key (nt-mt)
adj.
1.Marked by close acquaintance, association, or familiarity.
2.Relating to or indicative of one's deepest nature: intimate prayers.
3.Essential; innermost: the intimate structure of matter.
4.Marked by informality and privacy: an intimate nightclub.
5.Very personal; private: an intimate letter.
6.Of or involved in a sexual relationship.


hmmm... difficult, at the very least. the problem is not only finding someone you want to be intimate with, but that person either allowing you to be intimate with them or perhaps even sharing intimacy.

then the question becomes one of getting past the mental barriers that introverts such as myself set up to protect ourselves from emotional pain that an ill-fated/ill-advised intimacy is known to inflict.

hmmm...

no you should keep thinking. because it does make me feel a whole lot better that i'm not the only one who does spend alot of time thinking... so please carry on with it.

I've yet to find anyone bring the same level of intensity to a realtionship I do...



...and not get fucked up in the process.

or they think but get a lot of great sex...but that sort of cheesy grin i think is irrelevant in this thread...and maybe just a cruel; taunt?

you know my thoughts with your...philosophical dilemas rogue...

as for dreams, mine usually deal with zombies, aliens, the most recent one i remember was a funky...psycho, the devil saved me, commune type of theme going on...once i beat the bad man with a telephone receiver, because the annoying, repetive operator kept telling me she couldn't complete my call, she didn't even care that he'd already killed my friends...stupid operator!

1. killing just about anybody that would cross my path.

2. torture the shit out of people who are couples.

3. zombies

4. prison

5. i had a dream about my grandma and she is a witch. but sarah was in the dream.. i couldn't really see what my grandma was doing to sarah though... only she wasn't doing anything bad. i think she was doing a form of praying and also casting away bad evil spirits away from her....
then other stuff happened wich was different. but i really don't remember. because i got drunk before i went to sleep and had a dream about this..... i wish i could remember the second half to that dream...

my dreams are too intense for anyone generally....




It's why i drink..

I'm often naked in dreams, mainly in inappropriate situations.

So thats who's been entering my dreams lately....


You know, you really should control that...

I don't consciously enter your dreams!
Don't blame me!

Ahh, so it's a subconcious thing is it???

*makes note of that*

BTW, you like my Avi??