I'm glad you posted here diabolus, because now I remember this thread is here, and even though it is perhaps better forgotten, I feel there are issues I must address:

I assume 'lush' is slang for 'luscious'?

and

'tard' is infact an English word that you Americans stole. Everybody knows that it is short for 'Tardis' which is the vessel that the Dr. trancends eons and other universes with. Therefore, being a 'tard' means that you are bigger on the inside than the outside..

'Hmm' - Nanny McPhee