"How Soon Is Now" by The Smiths... everyone knows it, some of us love it, some of us hate it, but all of us have lived it... Taking a page from DM's book, i've collected every cover of the song i could get my proverbial hands on, and plan to listen to them all and review them, because i'm a geek that way. I'll start off by saying that it seems like the alchemists of arcane lore will reach their goal of synthesizing gold before anyone can seem to duplicate Johnny Marr's notorious gapper delay guitar line, but oh do they try... let's begin, shall we? (keep in mind i know almost nothing about most of these bands)

Duke Mushroom
I've noticed a lot of techno artists, when either covering or remixing a non-techno song, will write some generic techno song and throw in either a sample of the chorus of the original song, or have some other tool sing it for them, or just bits and peices (i.e. Sascha & Digweed's 'remix' of Enjoy The Silence), essentially, creating a completely new, often boring techno track that only shares the name with it's predecssor. In the case of Duke Mushroom, they apparently thought it was a good idea to write some generic drum and bass methamphetamene anthem and get some female studio singers to improvise the chorus. Now before anyone jumps down my throat defending techno music, the reason i so dilike this cover, and covers like it, is because if the girls had sang the chorus to "Just Like Heaven" it would be just as much a Cure cover as a Smiths cover. And Morrisey wouldn't stand for that.

The Meatmen
I've also noticed a lot of bands who cover older pop songs feel that vocals screamed instead of sang, and guitars thrashed instead of played, it somehow makes the song better. This cover showcases a wretched butchering of the song with awful vocals (often out of sync) and the alternating of a lyric to "i'm inhuman and i need to be FUCKED/KILLED" would normally make this cover a godawful waste of bitrate. However, given the Meatmen are essentially a joke punk band, who feature a song entitled "Morrisey Must Die", i'll let them off the hook for now. Still a shitty cover tho.

Pet Engine
An interesting upbeat rock cover, featuring lighthearted vocals and prominent funk base guitar... However, there's not really much lighthearted or funky about the Smiths (except maybe Morrisey's hair). I didn't much care for the post-chorus breakdowns, the vocal distortion midway through the song was interesting, plus the guitarwork was pleasant. Not the best, but not the worst either.

Inner Sanctum (Whoosh remix)
Another techno "cover". This one isn't too terrible, however, it's got a good beat. The vocals are a bit sparse, as expected. The only ones used are "i am the son, and the heir", arranged and repeated throughout the song, followed by a breif cameo by the chorus similarly repeated, then snipped apart and rearranged ("everybodyeverybodyeverybodyeverybody" etc.). The vocals, albeit sparse, aren't bad, plus the opening guitarline was sampled, as opposed to the artist trying to duplicate it, and has flange filters run on it for variety. As techno covers go, this would be one of my favorites.

Inner Sanctum (Hybrid mix)
Pretty much the same as the last one, only a bit sped up, and a more drum and bassy sound to it. Gone is the sampled intro guitar, instead they sampled the "crying guitar" and arranged it at key rhythm junctures. there are also less lyrics, only the chorus remians. I liked the first one better...

Quicksand
Another "Louder is better" cover, featuring loud rock guitars and dissimilarly arranged vocals. It sounds like he couldn't get the rhythm right... not much else to say about this one...

Everclear
Let me start off by saying i hate everclear. However, i am reviewing based on how well they covered the song, so i'll do my best to keep the afformentioned bias away from this review. Heavy distorted guitars permeate this track, counteracted by loudly sung vocals.. The vocals aren't too bad, however i cant' stand it when singers harmonize differently from the song they're covering. Not to say you can't take any creative liberties with your covers, i just think you should sing it as it was meant to be sung. Musically, this is one of the better covers, i could do without Art's vocals however.

Love Spit Love
Every teeneygoth worth their manic-panic nail polish is familiar with this track... It was on the Craft soundtrack and is the theme to the tv show "Charmed" (Allegedly, i'm not familiar with either)... A lot of the guitar intricacies are replaced by electronic instruments, and the crying guitar is replaced by a girl's voice that fades in and out (which i think was particularly innovative). The electronics contrast well with the strummed guitar and live drums, and the vocals are decent. To me it sounds a bit too much like he is trying to sound like morrissey, and it just doesn't quite fit, but he does well enough. There's also a whispered sample at the end of the song i can't make out and it annoys the piss out of me. Before i started this pretentious mass-song review, i disliked this cover a whole lot. Now i view it as one of my favorites, if that tells you anything.

Snake River Conspiracy
Now THIS is a fucking cover! This band took crunchy guitars, a heavy beat, and female vocals, wrapped them around a Smiths song, and somehow made it work rather well. The way the song completely breaks down and sort of floats through the chorus is a nice touch as well. More covers should be of this caliber. It's a shame that this track was the best thing this band has ever done.

Paradise Lost
This is probably the best straight cover of the song i've heard thus far. They swing just about every aspect of this song, relayed with gruffer vocals, and mild samplework. The only complaint is the lyrical error, when he says "criminally broken". Aside from that, a very well produced cover.

Bazooka Joe
I only heard a clip of this one, so i can't really judge, but iit sounds like more "Louder is Better" hardcore nonsense. I'll save my bubblegum comics for a better cover, (or maybe a spy camera).

Drain The Doves
This one was done by a no-name band on a Cleopatra records cover compliation. I believe that sums it up right there.

If anyone knows of any more, let me know and i'll go find them! Thank you for putting up with my snobbery.

-AOCM

other people that cover How soon is now are:

Bill Bechtel

DJ Subliminal: (does a hybrid mix of the song, dunno if that counts)

I'll look for the Bill Bechtel version, the version on the DJ Subliminal cd is the Inner Sanctum Hybrid mix. Thanks for responding!

Alliance, I respect you a lot, and your musical knowledge.

Not as much after this thread, though.

something you disagree with? (aside from my blatant snobbery?)

My darling, you are very right about how well Snake River Conspiracy covered that however it is certainly NOT the best thing they ever did:p I love SRC...

No one can sing a song quite like Morrissey. He has a gorgeous voice...bands should not try to cover his songs. As for the Love Spit Love cover...one day i was changing channles on TV (which mind you im not a TV fan ) A show is starting and i hear a familiar tune..but it sounds weird. I watch for a moment and listen.. and to my horror realise someone is mutilating How Soon is Now.?...my butt cheeks trembled in rage!!!!!! It is horrible.

The Meatmen covered that....you're shitting me...
goddamnit, now i have to burn their albums.

(if my warrents wern't strong enough, i hate the smiths)

they are a novelty punk band, their best album is called "crippled children suck". the mix funny ass lyrics with really fast traditional punk....they kick ass.

You'd probably be benefitting from burning their albums anyway (they suck).

they are the empitomy of punk rock post pistols....fast chords, irelevant lyrics..

To each their own i suppose. In my opinion, Anal Cunt does it better.

you're correct...i go for more melodic music.

jr. made an oxymoron...melodic punk.