I'm mean to people who have betrayed me. I'm mean to people I don't like.
I'm ruthless to those I hate.

no you can't make me feel better. because this is how people are.... they either use each other or need each other for something.... but you can call right now if you'd like.... we are still up as a matter of fact. but she is a bitch.... she can be the worst person you can ever meet....

hopefuly you are not that way with me... since i'm looking for people trust and proving themselves that i can trust them..... since i feel the same way you fucking feel.....

then I guess I'll call ya- wait a moment please.

ok anything for you you....

its real shitty how sometimes the most assine people find careing sweet peple to toy with and bruise....and the bruised one sometimes ends up jsut as mean as the person who hurt them....
and there are people like you Kendra....you take the shit and still hope that there is good in the world...you deserve so much better than the crap ass friends you have found over there
and i am glad to see you have taken so much crap out of your life...in the last 6 months i have see you grow and come into your own a person....
now if you dont mind i am going to over there and wait till i see you i got my JD here and am looking forward to seeing you on msn

i'll wright more back to you with the private message and your responce. i'm not feeling all too good right now.....as when last night panthera66 called me up from last night just to see how i was doing and she was worried about me. so i have spoken to her while taking shots.... then after that i remember turning off my computer and getting off the chair and i was sitting infront of my entertainment system... from there i passed the fuck out while panthy was still talking to me on the phone and i ended up throwing up all over myself on the floor and went to sleep...... i never turned off the phone either...then some how i woke up in my bed and i've spotted vomit on my t-shirt. then on the carpet and i had some on my jacket which was on the floor. i haven't cleaned up the puke yet and the time is only 2:15pm..... then as i got up i was feeling seriously hot and my forehead was sweating badly and i threw up in the toilet while still wearing my vomit t-shirt and had a little bit of it in my hair and i got myself to take a shower and drink something... right now i'm sitting here wearing a sweatter and drinking sprite.......

but i promise i'll say something more and respond to your things.... i don't feel as though i can.....

i have a headach and i'm panting alot and i can barely look up at the screen............. but i'll come back and clean up the puke and take a nap... i'm doing so good......

yes you are so very right. but its true i have grown up alot and from what i have been through with the crap and with people. i would like to be deserve alot and i know that i ern it as well. at least i have good friends online and people like you that care about me and love me. i am starting to be my own person which is a good thing and hopefull i'll keep that kind of additude up. all right and once when we both appear online at the sametime on msn we will have our chat. but i think i'm gonna have to post pone with the jack daniel's. saying the name its self is just making me feel the need to ralf........

thank you so much sweetheart. i seriously dig the sig gal

a note to let people know how i'm feeling. right now i think i have the feeling that my body isn't sure of what it wants from me. like does it want to stand up and move around or does it want to lay down and get some rest. because my body does feel the need to move around while its just tired..... i skipped out on dinner today because i was laying in bed after talking to panthy on the phone with an upset stomach. but i'm getting myself to drink alot of water... i'm seriously shaking alot.... sometimes i get the feeling that i want throw up and then i don't.... i'm getting muscle spazims in the face. with me i don't mind to throw up because i can tell i'll feel better once when i do.... i'm typing with a trash sitting on my lap and my face half way in it and still looking at what i'm typing. i just want to fucking throw up.... also i haven't gotten myself to brush my teeth because i can't.also i'll try and get myself something to eat....

Want a small tip?

Your body does not control...You.
You control your body...you know?
It has it limits and its up to you to use your body well.

Personally I abuse my body...a lot.

thanks for giving me that tip. as a matter of fact i think everyone abuses there body alot.

ok well yesterda i've been nothing but sick. all i did was throw up alot and didn't really get myself to eat anything. today at least i'll try and get myself something to eat..... don't really know what would be good to eat. feel like i'm in the mood to have something that is light and that wouldn't upset my stomach.

anyway this is it for the kendra update.

to fallen star i didn't forget you budy. just so that you can know and i'm sorry i missed your reply though and i didn't do that on purpose.

didn't work.

hello. how are you feeling

panthy!

actually i'm feeling much better. how are you doing?

Chef: Hello there, children!
Children: Hey, Chef
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chefag-nabbit children! How come every time you come in here
you gotta be askin' me questons that I shouldn't be answering?!
"Chef, what's the clitoris?" "What's a lesbian, Chef?" "How come they
call it a rim jub, Chef?" For once, can't just come in here and say,
"Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?"
Stan: Hi Chef. Nice day, isn't it?
Chef: It sure is! Thank you.
Stan: Chef, what's a prostitute?
Chef: Uh uh! You children are gonna get me in trouble with the principal again.
Cartman: Lunchtime! I'm starved!
Chef: Oh my God. Eric?
Cartman: That's me.
Stan: Chef was just about to tell us what a protitute is.
Chef: Why do you need to know what a prostitue is anyway?!
Stan: Because Jesus told us that Kenny's a prostitute. Is he?
Kenny: Yeah. Am I?
Chef: Well, no, uh of course Kenny is not a prostitute.
Kyle: Why?
Chef: Well, because, children, a prostitute is someone who…
you could pay for certain services.
Stan: Like what?
Chef: Like keeping you company. Understand?
Stan: No.
Chef: You see, chidren, sometimes a man needs to be with a woman.
But sometimes, when the lovin' is over, the woman just wants to talk and talk
and talk and talk.

[song]
But a prostitute is someone who would love you
No matter who you are, or what you look like.
Yes, it's true, children.
That's not why you pay a prostitute,
No, you don't pay her to stay, you pay her to leave afterwards.
That's why I pays a lot for prostitutes! Ladies and Gentlemen, Mr. James Taylor.

James Taylor: A prostitute is like any other woman
They all trade somethin' for sex and they do it well.
Chef: And that's why I say-
Chef and James Taylor: Prostitutes! Prostitutes! They-
Chef: Oohhhh [sees principal]
James Taylor, what the hell are you doin' in here?!
Singing' about prostitutes to the children! Get out of here!

for the time being i got this in my head....

tired. but I'm here.

i'm glad your here

but you can't be tired though.