this is something i have gotten alot of ridicule for. i have adopted the cynical/stoich mind-set over the past few years and i've basically "lied" about who i am. i was wondering if that "lie" is now who i am.

i have always said to myself "if you want to be hurt, dont give something that could hurt you". so now i have created a mask to hide myself. i figure this is more psychological than philosophical. when i was young i could never tell a lie to my parents because i was not a very good at it. so i got to thinking... why not on purpose tell a bad lie to allow someone to think you were a bad liar. and when you do tell a good lie they will think it true because they know you to be a bad liar. please tell me if this doesnt make sense then i'll try and elaborate on it. i have always had trouble explainiing what i think.

back to the hurting part... if one gives an image to protect themselves then are the person society sees them as or more than that? i have thougth alot on this and i am still in the dark on it. im hoping through a series of questions and discussions this can go further and get an answer to this.

I'm not really following you...what is it you're exactly seeking here?

Philosophically speaking, "one's true identity" is a vast and profound subject covering several philosophies. I'm an existentialist myself, which is driven by the very notion of "being one's self." I could go on and on about it if you wish, but I don't think it's really what you're questioning.

Please elaborate, and with some clarity. Your post was rather confusing, based on its chaotic prose (that's a writing/grammar thing).

this seems to follow the same vein as the "What you do" thread in Offtopic.

does who you are determine what you do? does what you do determine you who are? and blah blah blah.

Hey I have already said that who you are and what you do can be two totally different things, like a person who is by nature very kind and nices, but does things that make seeing asshole-ish.

basically what i have been wondering is if you hide things, such as secrets, from people, who have you become? i have many secrets that i do not share with others. but by hiding those things i feel that there is now a false image of who i am. due to my lack of trust for others i do not allow anybody to know anything about me that could one day used to hurt me. so what i'm asking is...is one's identity what everyone else sees that one as? or the person the secrets guard?

i hope i have clarified my last post up a bit for you all.

Your a spook. Seriously though, your are a defensive person, in that you hide. Now whether or not this projects a false image depends on the person to whom you are projecting the image. Some people are rather astute, and would see through it, see that you are in actuallity a rather insecure person, painful truth, but truth nonetheless. The question that you should be asking yourself is not who you are, but why you are the way you are, and if it is actually desirable to change that

the question is from what perspective are you asking the question. Are you asking if who "I" am is defined by the perception of others, through your perception of others perceptions of you or establishing your own self identity from your inner self perception.

The first is rubbish there is no self identity there at all and you atleat percieve your self to some degree, so

Do you identify yourself based on how you think others percieve you, or do you inner self identity.

seems like you have an inner self identity one that within your social group you feel uncomfortable with (are you gay by the way?) which is fine I think it is dangerous for your self worth to continue living within a social envoriment that you feel completly alienated and unable to express some aspect of your self.

Not trying to be a jerk just asking some questions

[quote=sorrow]this is something i have gotten alot of ridicule for. i have adopted the cynical/stoich mind-set over the past few years and i've basically "lied" about who i am. i was wondering if that "lie" is now who i am.

i have always said to myself "if you want to be hurt, dont give something that could hurt you". so now i have created a mask to hide myself. i figure this is more psychological than philosophical.quote]

So, what are you asking, exactly? I think that isn't necesarily who you are now. I have been hiding the real me behind a mask for quite some time and yet, i still know that it isn't the real me.

Exactly what are you asking here sorrow...it's all quite confusing...and hard to follow.

An Issuse of SELF !! ah yes this looks worthy of Self's time to answer too ..an Self may be the only one here who understands the Question ?

1: "We are only what we remember of ourselfs ...." even without repressed memories etc. and this gets deep . So yeah like good ol Tripple 6 said we could go on and on ...

2: I knew this very cool dude who had many claims to fame all within his ability yet he tended to mix the truth with the glory alot ..EXCEPT with the ppl he truly cared about or trusted ,Self got to see him out of his bubble because I DIDNT GIVE A SHIT ! I liked him for what I knew of him and not what he did when and where but his now's and what he did share with me of who and what he is / was ..Now it took him a few years to have this funky emotional breakdown and mass apollogy session with me about lieing to me and not being honest about this and that ... simular to your self most ppl didnt know him but what he wanted them to see him as and in all the time he spent with me he never had to bullshit me and I treated him the way he wished to be treated by everyone ( Basicly I could see the dude past all the Masks )and thats how I knew him ,where others never seemed to even bother to get to realiy know him and acted how they thought he wanted other ppl to act around him ,instead of being themselfs they would try to become what he was acting like which was a lie even if it made him popular etc...

So that asside When your ready Toss the SHELL ! however realise we all present ourselfs in many ways when we want too ..Oh and the BEST way not to get HURT is TO GET HURT ALOT !!! Life is full of pain and turmoil so get some and learn that just about no matter what life go's on !

Now Im not telling you to try and be 100% Honest ( you'll piss ppl off and they wont understand you at all ..I know I challenged myself to this for a year pissed alot of ppl off UNNECASARLY ( Sorry for extra slaughter of the language Self should be in bed right now ) finished the year at about 98% .

And remember there are things about each of us that NOBODY ELSE NEEDS TO KNOW !!! even if it is something that makes us who we are ..If it's something too painful or massively disturbing to others like you used to skin cats as a hobby or something ...but it has No bearing on who you currently are then FORGET IT ..it's not worth dragging into your future LIVE AND LEARN . You need time to find yourself once you've done that F#@% everyone elses oppinoins of what you are they will like you for the you they are around or the hell with them .and you'll be ok with this ..in fact things will be better all around with out all the mental baggage ..

I tend to surrprize ppl all the time Im a VERY HONEST,HAPPY PERSON ,who loves to help ppl and am always giving etc. however there are many ppl who would freak out if they knew certian things about me lol ..so I have a good Idea who can know WHAT I am on what level ..Im not worried about being hurt in fact im protecting them .

All this shit takes time and experiance im 34 now ,and remember that back in high school I used to have a fake alter ego named LORD-IVD LOL !! No reaily it was a whole different mind set so I could do some of the things I wouldnt normaly do ,I hang out or used to hang with a wide veriety of ppl who all have there different behaviours ..I dont take Risks but in IVD mode ( as long as it wasent life or death ,tho sometimes I guess it was I would let myself go for it ! ) Now I wasent being anything that wasent me, I just had a less reserved mindset that was more like me without the kiddy gloves .. like I was a Mgr. For a resort Hotel dressed nice all the time respectfull etc. but after hours who was out hanging with the Punks and street ppl . I could walk the Walk and talk the talk ..Now I wasent faking anything I just was choosing to be that part of myself and the ppl who I hung out with I would be honest with about shit and they were cool with it ..Because while some of that crowd was homeless,hopeless,self distructive,mad at the world ,thought themself's unloved ,broke,etc. Normaly they would have been pissed off that come daybreak I could return to my Perfect little world as Mr.respectful etc. while they had nothing but the shirt on their back and nobody gave a crap about them bla bla ..And I had all the stuff they thought they wanted or were missing out on ..I havent lived a normal life by most ppl's standards and I have a LOT of EXPERIANCE'S from shoplifting to eat to Living in Small Mansions,From being Raped to finding the Love of my life ,Ive spent time as a local Track star and had my years as a cripple ...Life is or can be a Rollercoster of UPs and DOWNs and everything changes learn who you are and then share yourself with the world or at least what the world can handle of you IT"S ALL GOOD IF YOU MAKE IT GOOD ! Id go on but I gotta go !!

P.S. Hope this helps ya !

When I first looked at the title of this thread, I thought it was "One's true identity" as in One on the board.

hmm? okay when i ask about a person's "identity", i mean WHO are they really. in your case vampirechick92, is the real you the person you are hiding? or is the real you the person the entire world sees you as?
yes i know that the image we give is not the real us, but is it possible that it is?

is it possible that as we try to hide ourselves we adopt a shifting baseline pattern, we slowly add onto out outer image of who we are. and we dont realize we have changed until we look back on our lives.



and no im not gay

personally i feel one is defined not by what every one else sees them as but by who they really are, but thats just my opinion

dam thats it?

So what youre asking is whether or not how other ppl perceive you is who you are....

Well, how others see you never defines who you are. Its how YOU see other ppl seeing you that defines you. What you think other ppl see you as is who you are because that means that is how you act around them. It may be a mask but until that mask comes off(in your case being less defensive and taking more risks) you will be the person represented by the mask. Ppl dont have ONE true identity, given the fact that they can change.

Personally i have a friend that has your same fear of being hurt, and the one thing that i keep recognizing in her is the fact that she will never live her life to the fullest, one full of regret.

My Avator is me except I used photoshop trial edition to edit the weird landscape and red eyes. I hope it clears somethings up for you: I am an open book of drama, hopes dashed and fictional love.

My secret:

I am not normal. I have a fictional relationship with Olivia Flaversham. I love her and believe she loves me too. I have a photo of this mouse human. I like drinking blood especially Type A.Nah, first part was real though about Olivia flaversham.

hmm thank you Faid, that makes alot of sense.

hey man, i know where you're coming from, and i'm gonna try to keep my answer short and sweet: we can only be ourselves, no matter what we do or say, "wearing masks" is really just a different way of opening up to other people and everybody does it and i appreciate it when i feel people doing it around me (i can clear this up if it interests anyone) and there can't really be one objective definition of the person you are, it's really all about what the individual feels... i'm no philosopher or anything but i like to think what i feel and make up has some sort of underlying sense to it. anyway, just my two cents again

Has anyone read the Celestine Prophecy? There is a description of understanding the "self" I found it to be a good book