A mere thought I had was about pregnancies themselves, having children and therein raising the children.
A lot of people I know tend to be quite enraged at their children due to their childish antics, often resulting in high stress and no social time, and sometimes a total destruction of their own self such as suicide, drug abuse or alcoholism.

So the real question is, do you gain some manner of enlightenment off of having a child, raising the child and subsequently being a parent? Do you learn some secrets of life, or perhaps understand more about the nature of reality?

Or is it just a path of self-destruction?

It really depends how philosophical you are, and who you are.
I know a mum who told me if she could go back she wouldn't bother with kids, that the things she has learned are not really worth knowing. She misses her freedom, and although I know she loves them and is caring, she has no problem telling me these things in confidence. She is disappointed in them, and doesn't have the energy to make them behave better, or create quality time.

Sometimes I feel like banging my head on the wall and I know I yell a lot more than I should, but even in the darkest moments I wouldn't change a thing. I understand so much more about the world, about people and relationships. My contraception failed, and I was never taken with kids before, but when they are your own it's a lot easier to cope. I still have very little tolerance with other people's kids.

The first thing I noticed was whenever I heard a sad story involving a child, or saw a dying child at work it made me cry, I could grasp the parent's pain, understand the weight of the burden on a mother who has to find food for her starving child in a third world country.
It definitely made me more aware.

I don't see it as self destruction as by it's very nature having children is the continuation of your genes, and it's not a life sentence. They grow up, leave. If you have brought them up to be independent they won't be a burden, and although there may still be a lot of worry, it's still worth it.
I have cared for elderly who haven't any children, and when everyone else has their grandchildren visiting, and their children to come round and help them put up shelves, do the garden, etc, all they have is free time, memories. Maybe a lot fo experiences in their lives, but not the same depth of love that comes from such a close blood link.
If you put the effort in to bring up a child well the rewards are huge, but if it's something you really don't want, although it may turn out fine, it may not.
Some people are just not natural parents

It really does depend on the person and what situation they're in at the time. Do they truely love the person whom they're having a child with, are they financially ready, and mature enough to handle such a responsibility. It's seems that kids are getting pregnent very early these days, and being forced into parenthood can really mess you up.. if you're not ready. It takes away all the liberties you once had, and now your full attention is spent raising a child. But on the flip side, if you're ready, it can be one of the most rewarding things in life. My friend, who is only 21, just recently found out his girlfriend was pregnent, and he was the last person that I would expect to be able to handle a child. But, it really changed him... the child isn't even born yet, and I've already noticed a chance in his personallity. He's actually excited about the baby, he really wants to be a good father and husband. He's really looking forward to raising that child, and he's fully aware that it won't be a walk in the park.. I guess to answer your question, I don't believe that it reveals and secrets of life or nature. It does however enlighten you to an extent. You may discover more about yourself in raising a child, and sharing the experience with someone you really love. ... but, again, if you're not ready..... yeah, it'll be hell if you're a person who cannot handle stress or responsibility of a child.

it is most definately self-destructive......you immediately become somthing new, someone else.....your "essence" will change when that child is born......just the very idea that name changes from "brother and/or son" to "dad" signifies your essence changin'....and within that sense, the self before this change is destroyed.....but itz not necessarily a negative destruction....it is positive; there is a lot more to learn if you have a child (i don't have one, but it would seem apparent life changes when a new life is introduced into your life.....even something as simple as findin' a new love changes your life in some fashion....imagine how it is when you have a child)

at the same time it can be negative, but it does depend on many factors.....the most crucial of which is probably age.......a 30 yr old new parent won't feel the negative effects of their new born child the same as a 19 yr old.....relatively speakin'

well put Six...

It's just another thing to adapt to. If you dont do it well enough then you die, take to it like a duck to water and you may improve yourself in the process.

so, um... are they hot?

Yes as a matter of fact they are. Just another piece of the puzzle of parenthood. The world became a much better place when

A. They got cell phones.
and
B. They were of legal age.
Being the father of two extremely attractive daughters is not fun.

ZOMG! pics pwez!! lolololololololol...





i can't believe i just posted that... i am such a bastard.... a bored bastard.

Opening one door to a path in life may close others as Nivvie stated in some of her examples. Disregarding the irresponsible parents for a moment and disregarding the out-of-control chaotic children, it is a common enough phrase (globally) that "being a parent is the hardest and most rewarding job in the world."

For the record, at this point, ~I~ wouldn't want kids anytime soon, if ever. I'm too selfish in my desires, or something. Anyway.

As sixxx put it well enough, you go through changes and how a person reacts to these new decisions inflicted upon their lives is really only fair to be judged on a by-basis method. I agree that age does give some merit to maturity, but certainly not always so that it shouldnt be construed as just another passing stereotype.

I can see why the aforementioned quote, "...best job in the world" applies. Playing parent is the closest humans can play a sense of "God" (a God that is akin to an old man in the sky) on another, for a time. Then the rebellion stage, then the vengeful God...etc, etc...(whee!) The quote isn't intended to be perceived as a malicious thing, either. We can all recognize the Good intentions and the hopes that the child that is being raised only makes the parents' pride swell to unsurpassed amounts...

However, wasn't it the philosopher Hobbes that stated something like, "...all motives by humans are finalized by a selfish drive/desire..."

Perhaps, being a parent is a decision some people make because they feel they've failed to attain what they had dreamed of in life and so they decide to live vicariously through their children's dreams.

Perhaps, perhaps, perhaps...I could go on with a few other examples, but I don't think it's needed. But, finally, as to answer the question, I don't think being a parent is on any path to enlightenment. I think it's an issue of the Nature to procreate and other than that, it's ultimately got selfish intentions, even if your parents are loving and wish you well, etc, etc, etc...(good parents are included here too, is what I mean). And of course it opens up 'secrets of life' that you couldn't learn anywhere else. There really is no other job on this planet than having the role of a "Parent." But the same applies to being "President," too. So...all in all, you can't really "have it all" and succeed, so a person who decides they want to be a parent should really (but they rarely do, in terms of the youth) understand that it IS a "life sentence" technically, cause your kids will still whine and dig into your wallets even when they're 25 with their own damn kids!

*runs around like a sperm*

*chases the sperm thing*

Reading this post has been very enlightening. I have a lot of biases about parents, and about myself, if there can be such a thing, to the point where I have often declared, noisily and annoyingly, that I will never be a parent, or have children, or that [insert deity here] have mercy on the child that has me as as parent. I also fear responsibility, and power. And yes, maybe being a parent is playing God. It's also one of the biggest responsibilities one can have, when one realizes that there is a life, there are lives, under your protection, shaped or opposed to or reacting to your views and values. It fills me with sheer panic, especially when I look at myself and wonder if I'll fuck up worse than my parents did. Sometimes bad parenting is hereditary.

Some of us are just Programed to do it man !! I just had to Procreate to get my sence of immortality an all, But I wouldnt have a child until I had the right partner so our children are also a boost to our relationship because we have them with lots of love ,and kids seem to ( Under the right circumstances ) enhance a relationships bonds .
it's not a question of will I have children its when and how many ?
Ive just about always wanted 2 kids and now I have them ..Oh shure it's a love hate relation but then what relation isnt, we love to give and hate to give at the same time ! children are anoying !!! but can bring great joy along with the hardships .

Yeah I guess theres the GOD aspect ,but I like to think I guide rather than control *( as you walk by IVD's home and hear the yelling at the children LOL ) *..

Besides it gives the wife and I something to share and bitch about at the same time !

Somedays would be great without them, then there are days that I try to make all about them ..I love my kids BUT I DONT WANT ANYMORE !!!!

Anyways * sniff sniff * I gotta go to work to feed the little buggers now so L8tr !