Alright, I'll give this a go...in this thread, there will be many issues addressed, but because of the highly opinionated/passionate ideas that could easily be involved, the only moderation that I would like to be in charge of is controlling the digressions that are surely to happen...

While this is the philosophy section, I do encourage (to a controlled degree) personal exerpts here and there to accentuate one's point. Please, no writing us a poem and saying "this is love because blah blah" or "my boy/girlfriend said so and so"...rather, if you find it easier to express your ideas without imposing judgement or a small piece of poetry (expressing the beauty/ugliness of love) then that's fine. If you go overboard, I suggest this person be ignored and shunned and pooped on.

Ok. First up, the question of which is more important...to love oneself or to love another? Or is it good to be balanced? etc, etc. I'd start with a post, but I have to go to work...

I am of the opinion that in order to have love for others you must first love yourself. Therefore, if importance is an issue I would say to love yourself would be primary. I'd expand on that, but I think it's fairly clear.

I don't think you'll ever be happy unless you love yourself.
I've learnt that not loving yourself creates an inability to understand how anyone else could love you, and therefore no relationship is balanced.
It often leads to you rejecting someone else's love because you don't believe you are loveable.
So, in the end, not loving yourself is as destructive as to those around you as it is to yourself.

define "love yourself"

define 'love'

"Love yourself", I define as liking yourself, both mentally, emotionally and physically. On top of that you care for yourself, and take care of yourself, also in those three ways. It's not romantic love, it's self-love. Not narcissistic or sexual. You like who you are as a person and believe you can be loved sexually and romantically.

well... that strikes off a good portion of intelligent males and ALL females.

And you wonder why the divorce rate is so high?

Define "define"

"Sheesh" "people", "get" "a" "dictionary" "already."

(Yes, I'm well aware that dictionaries are technically usage and not meaning, but use the OED and stop complaining)

You don't have to adore everything about you- there will be bits you loathe, so maybe my original statement was a bit general.
But acceptance of who you are is fairly vital.

running under that hypothesis... what about those people who have no idea as to who they "truely are?"

such as the many napoleons sitting in asylums (or so the joke goes)... does that make the insane incapable of love outside of their distorted/false selves?

I can't really work out what you mean there.

there are people in this world with the inability to see their "self" as it were... with no real concept as to who they are, what they look like, etc. all they know is what they see.

does that mean they cannot love? if so, then i feel very sad for the mentally disabled in our world.

Could turn that around and say if no one ever loved you from birth to your death could you truly love yourself? There might be a few exceptions to that but there might be exceptions to your rule too.

Red: if A, then B does not necessarily mean that if B, then A...

loving someone is wonderful but i must say this...


youll never truly accept that someone loves you until you learn to love yourself.
if you hate yourself, (way you look etc etc) youll have a very hard time believeing that someone else could love you when you cant even accept yourself.

i know this for a fact. i went thru this for years.

LOL..no shit?

You`re supposed to say HOW people who are treated like crap or with cold indifference throughout the entirety of their lives would turn into someone with healthy self esteem. Without being a massive exception to the rule and resorting to magic and/or superpowers if possible.

Child of Nature?

you know what you assume about your own personal set of experiences... which aren't necessarily valid as a general set.

Exactly. I knew this would happen. Errantrogue, being a MODERATOR of the philosophy forum even can't keep the snipid comments off. That's why ~I~ chose myself to be the mod of this thread....

No need to be stupid. And no need to be curt. And certainly, this is NOT a thread intended to be a rant/bitch on how much you hate love because your love life sucks. Fuck off (please and thank you if that's your intent)...not saying anyone has gone there already, but it certainly looks like it...

As for the OED, Peter, it's so biased and Western that it makes me sick. It's great and all for correcting spelling but that thing is so stupid, especially in terms of anything non-political. That's the only good use of that thing...

Why don't we try some philosophy in the philosophy forum now...not just one-liner opinions...?...

ANYWAY, if this can now continue....

To love oneself...well, yes, I agree with Sybs here more or less. To love oneself in a healthy manner (emotionally and physically) to a point where that confidance can then be spread outwardly to others is the important first step. Whether by free-form "energy"/spiritual love (good attitudes are contagious type of thing) or by physical means (gift giving, sex, compassionate actions, etc).

Problem with that set of behavior is that that isn't the case most of the time. And most people who would say what is said above are probably hypocrits anyway, to some degree. So, to press that point further, in realistic terms, (to the majority of our society and our culture) what is to love oneself?

Now, to love another is to express general care (the depth of that is ultimately up to you) for another. Lets postulate that the give and take of love (balanced reciprocity) is what to love another in a healthy manner is all about. Does the gain fuel the continual cycle or is it the giving? Now this is interesting, because in some cultures, the people gain status/prestige/political power/everything from giving rather than our Western standard of accumulating wealth. Apply this to a relationship as well. Oh, and this is all remaining in the confines of two lovers, no children, no sexual deviancy, etc...

How's that for a do-over..? Discuss.