Hello Children,

It's been a while since I've had a little heart- to- heart with you boys and girls. The last couple of years have not been kind to yours truly. Much has changed since I've been gone. Nobody appreciates or respects a klown...

fan fiction or not, i like his style...

More to come when I'm not pulling double shifts.

those do tend to interfere with the creative process...

I...hate....clowns!!!

Dear Laura,


I know that it must seem awkward writing this after your passing, but for some unknown reason I feel that it is appropriate. I just want you to know that it hurts not having you in my life anymore and that you're still the first and last thing I think about each day. I only wish that things had worked out between us.

It was three years ago on this day when you divorced me. I remember it like it had just now happened. I was stationed over in Okianawa and was finally able to bring you over from the United States to live with me. We planned to do so many things. Then two days after you arrived I deployed and went off to war. From that day on things just weren't the same. It would be months between letters and phone calls. During that time all I could think about was coming home to you. I remember you crying each time we spoke over the phone. Finally the day came when I was supposed to return home. It was a joyous moment for both of us. Everything was going to return to normal. We even talked about starting a family.

That's when things took a tourn for the worse. Instead of flying home, I was given orders to remain in combat for another six months. I remember telling you in a letter that I didn't know when I was coming home, all I could do was hop that it would be soon. In return you sent divorce papers to sign, thus nullifying our marital union. I wished I had killed that day.

It woud be eighteen months before I came back to an empty home. Upon my return something inside me had changed. In the time that followed, I lost interest in things that normally brought me a sense of fulfillment. Instead I would just sit in a chair, stare at a wall, and wonder what would have happened if I had stayed with you. The harder I tried to forget you, the more difficult things became. Every woman I saw on television, read about in a magazine, or even talked to in a club became you. So you see Laura, when you were gone I basically fell apart.

What fianlly brought things to a head, was two years after our divorce I saw you in a restaraunt with your new husband. At first you tried to pretend that you didn't notice me. Then, when I approached you, you had the nerve to act like our marriage ment nothing to you. I wanted to kill you right there, but the time just wan't right. Patiently I waited, wondering how to make suffer. I wanted you to feel the same pain that I felt when you decided to walk out on me. Then one day it hit me, Laura, I knew eaxaclt ly what to do.

I discovered my revenge in an amusement park. I saw a klown going around juggling and performing magic tricks for the people who passed by. It became clear. Where once was a man, unable to be happy, now would be a grease painted monster. A monter that could smile and laugh regardless of any pain that I was feeling.

Finally, it was the night we supposed to celebrate our wedding aniversery. I waited until well past midnight outside your home. You and your new spouse were making love when I decided to visit. I crept into your basement, quietly made my up into the kitchen, through the living room, and at last up the stairs to the bedroom. I almosts wish that I could relive that moment. The moment where everything became silent and the only sound was that of my heavy breathing. Breathing that was followed by turning on a light switch, and then absolute look of shock and horror on your face.

Unfortunatley your husband tried to stop me. Poor fool, out of respect I killed him quickly for he was not my main interest. Once he was dead I focused all of my energy on you, Laura. I can still hear your screams echoeing in my head. I didn't just butcher you. I made sure that the last few moments of your life were as horrific as possible. As I slowly took your life from you, the crowning moment was when you looked right into my eyes, past the grease paint and realized that it was me who was killing you. Just seconds later you screamed and you died.

Now that I'm done rambling I ust want you to know that through it all, right up to the moment of your demise, I still loved you. Despite the joy, the sorrow, and the double homocide, I loved you. Now that I'm on death row and I'm about to fry in the chair, I want you to rejoice. Because soon we'll be able to pick up where we left off.

I Love You

Goodbye.

My First Time

I'll never forget. The anticipation was endless. I was twitching constantly, like a pyrotech detonating a bomb for the first time. Everything was akward and unsteady. A mere boy of seventeen trying to do a man's job. My family was poor, so I worked on the docks. That night at the end of my shift as it was getting dark, I had to walk home. I took a short cut through a nearby park. There was a young couple passing by. They were both good-looking, happy, well-to-do, the type of people who always had it easy. I hated them for that I suppose. Or maybe I just envied them. I don't remeber anymore.

As they came closer, I pulled out my my knife. The electricty in my body was riveting. I probably should have tried to lure them into the shadows, but I was careless and sloppy. And I made such a mess. I grabbed the young man by the shoulder and thrust my knife into his chest. Blood gushed from the wound like a fountain as I repeatedly stabbed him again and again. His girlfriend would scream again and again. And her screams were like music, vibrant, radiant, music that I couldn't get enough of.

It was as though I had mastered a fine instrument. I stuck the knife in him and that heavenly noise would come out of her. But sooner of later it had to end, like all good things. He was dead and I couldn't just let her go and run off to the authorities. I pinned her to the ground, looked into her pretty green eyes, and drove my knife as deep into her chest as it would go. She screamed louder than ever. It seemed like she wanted me to appreciate her extra effort, and this was how she showed it.

My life changed forever that night, and those screams will live in my heart the rest of my life.

interesting.... Its raw, but a story nonetheless.

Thank you.

we had such good times with these sort of stories, it's nice to see you still have the knack.

Thank you.

I'll post more later.