two worlds apart
StoriesDiscuss two worlds apart in the The Pen forums; she looked herself up and down in the mirror, finally satisfied that she looked okay in her sunday-best church dress, Raven went downstairs for breakfast. her dad was the ...
she looked herself up and down in the mirror, finally satisfied that she looked okay in her sunday-best church dress, Raven went downstairs for breakfast. her dad was the preacher at her church and sunday was always a busy day, the family getting ready for day of prayer and visiting with family. Raven had no idea of how her dad would react when she revealed her dark secret to him.
"Raven,we're going to be late if you don't come downstairs now," her dad called out from the kitchen.
"Coming!" she yelled back.
she hurredly pulled some dress shoes on and clomped her way down the stairs to the kitchen. her older brother, mom, and dad were already seated at the table and eating.
"You missed grace over the food" her dad said pointedly, giving Raven a look.
"sorry daddy," she said and sat down at the table, ashamed of her obvious tardiness.
a little while later, the family piled into the car and went to church. Raven silently sighed in the back seat. she felt that she had lost her faith and hated going to church anymore. when she was a little girl, Raven had loved it, drinking in her dad'd every word. but now it seemed like more of a chore than anything.
after the services ended, Raven noticed another girl outskirting the crowd whom she had never seen before.
Raven went up to the girl and introduced herself. the girl smiled shyly and responded with, "my name's Katy."
Raven invited Katy to hang out for a little while at her house. Katy nodded. Both girls were seventeen and it seemed harmless enough to do.
Raven pulled the girl through the crowd to find her dad and ask his permission to go ahead with the plans. when she asked, he nodded reluctantly and went back to his conversation with one of the congregants.
finally, Raven thought to herself, one sunday when i don't have to go and visit with my annoying cousins.
Raven and Katy walked back to the house(it was only about six blocks away), kicking their shoes off as soon as they got inside Raven's house.
Raven led the way to her room and they turned on some music and relaxed on the bed.
Katy admitted that she wasn't new to their church but rather had been watching Raven from afar.
Raven was a bit surprised but didn't say anything. in fact, she had been doing the same exact thing by watching Katy.
Raven examined her new friend more closely. Katy was slim with small hips and chest, fair skinned, green-grey eyes and light wavy brown hair. she wore a light sun dress that showed her great legs off. she's beautiful, Raven thought to herself, feeling her clit tingle a little.
Raven was a redhead with fiery curls that stuck out everywhere, she also had fair skin, but was just a tad bulkier than Katy with a c cup chest and more defined hips. currently she was wearing a cute little black dress with spaghetti straps.
*******
Over the next several weeks, Raven and Katy spent a lot of time together, becoming quick friends. one day, they were watching a movie together when Raven stopped the tape. Katy looked at her questioningly.
"i have to tell you something important but you have to promise me that you won't reveal this to anyone, okay?" Raven said quietly.
Katy nodded.
"i'm lesbian" Raven whispered. letting out the breath that she'd been holding.
"its okay,i understand," Katy responded. she went to the bedroom door and closed it.
upon coming back to the bed, she gently grasped Raven's face to her own and kissed her. Raven trembled, afraid of someone walking in on them.
Raven and Katy made love in Raven's bedroom and it was the most beautiful, blissful thing that Raven had ever experienced. it just felt right. but it wasn't-Katy was from a liberal family whose values varies completely from Raven's family. it would never work out...it couldn't.
afterwards they laid on the bed together, both covered in sweat and each other's perfume. Katy was the first to get up, suggesting that they both go and take showers. first checking to make sure that the hallway was clear, they tiptoed over to the bathroom together, both wrapped in towels.
The shower felt great, the steam washing away all the negative stuff that Raven had been feeling for the past two years. two years, and nobody had figured it out. why Raven had stopped dating. it was so hard to hide it and many a night Raven had cried herself to sleep in her desperation. after they had both showered, raven and Katy dressed and went outside to enjoy the sunshine.
*******
Raven finally came out on her eighteenth birthday.
"you're a what???" her dad exclaimed.
her mom sat in her rocking chair, saying nothing.
"get out of my house!" he roared, pointing to the door. "i will not tolerate having a hellbound sinner in my home!"
"gladly!" Raven shouted back. she grabbed some suitcases from under her bed that she had stashed there earlier that day and about five hundred dollars from her top drawer of her dresser that she'd saved from tips as working as a waitress. Raven headed over to Katy's house, tears dripping down from her proud face. it was finally over.
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thanx. i got bored one day and decided to write. its not not of my best works but i thought it was okay all the same.
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The very name Raven made her position completely obvious, and there was a lot of needless wording and subterfuge.. i knew by the 9th sentence that she was either a lesbian or atheist. Perhaps instead of making herinto a dyke at the end you instead plant the seeds of sexual confusion in her own words or mind this way the ending wont be as guessable.
thanks for the constructive critism! i'm curious though...how does the name contribute to her being a lesbian? i understand everything in your post except for that.
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1st of all, its unrealistic, no self respecting christian (preacher) especially would name thier child raven, ravens are symbols of death and darkness. As soon as i read the name Raven i thought 2 things A. shes gothic which means she is going to rebel in 2 ways from her pops be it gay or atheist. and 2 the writer of the story IS a goth, and is going to use the character Raven AS a catalyst or pretend hero for herself to do what she hasnt the strength to do... even though both may not BE true, that is what the name Raven conveys, or makes the reader think. Perhaps you should rename her Christina, or something that way the ending wont be nearly as predicatable.
i think you're right...originally i had simply seen 'raven' as a pretty name, but i DO understand what your're getting at.
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