She took a deep breath and shuddered. It was a warm summer, but tonight a cold wind caressed her skin. She was bathed in the clear light if the moon, her naked skin glowing. A million stars looked down on her.
"Oh, God", she sighed.
"It's gonna be okay", a soft voice said behind her. She turned around to find the beautiful man she loved laying a blanket over her shoulders. He bore an expression of calm, but his eyes betrayed him. Agony and sorrow were eating him up and she knew it.
"Will it hurt?", she whispered.
He nodded. "I'm so sorry, Kate", he said, putting one hand on her cheek.
She had heard those words over and over again but she knew he meant it. Guilt was consuming him since that night three weeks ago and in the beginning it had made her feel better. But soon his pain had become hers, and even though she had forgiven him, he wouldn't let himself forget. How could he?
The night it happened they had both been love drunk. A perfect day had ended by the passionate unison of their bodies. They had never felt more desire for one another. The climax had come slow but intensely and in the moment of ecstasy a brute force had taken over and he bit her. But the moment he had realized what he had done, he had jumped off her. As soon as she had seen the blood on his face and her own body she had receded in disgust. Until he explained. Terror had overcome her when he told her in tears of his past and her future. "I never wanted to be what I am, who would? My life is one of pain and it's a constant fight over the control of the beast inside of me. When I turned seventeen I became a this, this creature...", she remembered him saying in disdain,"...and I soon learned that life as a...a werewolf is a tiering one."
At first the shock and disbelief had made her want to flee his presence, but his tale of sorrow let her feel pity and even love, for she had discovered a strength in him she had never known before. However, the news of what the shedding of her blood entailed had filled her with a feeling of trepidation. She had swayed between loathing him for what he had done to her and loving him for the guilt and worry he felt, that in her eyes were proof of his true love for her.
Tonight, every ambivalence regarding her feelings for him had left her and had been replaced by anxiety. He was there for her, he would care for her when it was over. She trusted him. But still, the prospect of anguish tearing through every clear thought and the wolf taking over...it frightened her to the point of complete terror. He had explained to her what the Change would feel like, but sometimes this whole experience felt like a nightmare and she felt that if she would only wake up, everything would be over.
But it wasn't and she wouldn't. So they waited. The full moon had risen and she could feel something like a tug inside.
Then a sudden convulsion ran through her. All of her muscles tensed up at the same time. She fell to her side. He rushed to sit down next to her and said, "It's starting. Don't be afraid, I'm here."
A wave of burning pain went through her and she arched her back as she screamed her agony into the night. It was as if her skin was on fire. Then the sound of popping joints and bones cracking filled the air as well as her screams. Muscles growing in places they shouldn't be could be seen under her skin. She was covered in sweat and tears now. She quivered and winced and trembled and there was nothing she could do about it. She felt a sharp pain in her eyes, like red hot steel being pressed into her skull. Her screams were turning into groans and growls, for she had lost her voice.
Then it stopped. Her eyes were closed. She was breathing heavily, but with relief.
"It's done", the soft voice said and she opened her eyes.