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blood_princess

sometimes im screaming and no one hears
sometimes the earth is screaming and i cant hear or even bear it.
right now im stuck in a large barrel and no one wants to help me out. this is not a cry for help
dont get me wrong, some encouraging words would be nice but i get non
i feel like im doing it on my own and i dont like it im not a good learner and doing it on my own sucks.
i have an important test to take with two endings
1) pass the test-go to school and become a successful dental assistant
2) fail-fall down and die/try to realize that im not smart..move away
i dont want to deal with it or this
parents fighting..im too old for this were a close family and i love them but i dont need to hear the fights...im too old for this
maybe one day i can just be me and be by myself in a cute lil house. i always thought things would just work themselves out. but also i thought you would be by my side. i tried to wait for you, two years was too long you turned 18 before me..you didnt even want to come back, you had no need to..were u waiting for me to go there? you never talked to me about things that were important..you were always on drugs and never realisitic..i still love you though...and i remember everything..then came the next whom i dont even want to discuss b/c he moved away too maybe im
HIDEOUS
maybe evryone leaves me b/c im a bitch and maybe evryone thinks im ugly or maybe they use me..you tell me whats wrong with me?
will i pass the test?

harli · 05-22-05

i cant help but wonder if this belongs in the journal section or if this is going to be a real story....

blood_princess · 05-25-05

it will be astory when im dsone..if i ever get done

ok so my test is friday..im frightened.so very frightened that ill fail and everythign will be put off another year, the test can onl be taken twice in a year and i failed by 5 points the first time..i really need to pass its all i can do to try and make a life for myself. all i truely want is a family and friends but also i wanna party first like every young person(cept the ignorant ones) almost all my friends from high school are either pregnant or have kids..thats absolutely rediculous...i need soem more time to breath
back to the issue..no one has wished me luck yet and im concered but i will studyand fight to do my best...after friday ill let you know good luck to me im all i have