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xaphoenix

Through the foggy atmosphere to a desolate area tucked away from the rest of the galaxy a light cut through the swirling darkness. A shimmery green staff stood in the middle of a group of beings illuminating the samll area around it. All the group members had the blanket of the dark casted upon them. THe oldest out of the group circled around the various others. Her Barely visible appendages rose into the drakness. '' Many years ago there was a young human girl that was part of a destiny she never thought she would be a part of.

Life goes on is what my father told me as he held me close to his rapid breathing chest. Even that wanted belief couldnot cut through the pain of the death of my brother. He was the one who taught me everything and the one who showed me new ways to tap into the elements of the earth. He arose my imagination and helped me see what most children lose at my age of 17. how could he be gone? how could he leave me on this earth with no one left to understand me. I wish i could say i hate him but i cant. his gifts live through me now i am the only one who ever understood him. He was the only one i ever questioned. This feeling is so distorted between pain anger and failure. Was it me that disappointed him. No how could i. I wish to live out his dreams.

my dream was to walk in his footsteps. I say this only because he is the one who got me on his exact path of discovery and why not discover the world on the same path he had to stop travelling. After many people tried to comfort me at his funeral all i wanted to do was run away. I went to his rrom after the funeral and laid in his bed. THere was no energy in this room and it felt stuffy and uncomfortable. He never spent any time here. I ran to the shed behind our house that was abandon. i stepped in and felt the rush of energy. the old memories flooded in and the stillness of the building erupted with activity. I remebered the long nights we spent in here. I remeber the lessons that were taught in the rainy afternoons when we were chased inside. The candles still layed in their shelf and the books were still piled up gathering dust maybe for the first time since they were taken off the bookstore shelf. I did not feel sad, I felt relived to find somewhere that was farmilar to my senses. This place was secret and powerful. I finally decided to take a seat in the makeshift chair we made out of a log. In the seat sat a notebook. I lazly put it on the shelf next to me not caring about what it had to say. i stayed there all night and read books by candle light. It is what we use to do but it wasn't the same when you had no one to discuss your findings with. The thought made me a bit sad and so i decided to head back home. on the journey home i felt an akward presence and rush homed in fear. I reached the house and the porch lights stung my eyes in their sudden explosion. after i gain control over my senses agian i noticed the fear leave my body and i let myself relaxe. My parents were in the kitchen crying over photos of my brother Mike. They looked up at me and my mother just cried more. they have been like this for days and it bothers me. Maybe it is just me but i haven't cried over his death and i believe my parents are the last people to be crying. They argued with him constintly over his point of view and they always told him that he needeed to grow up. I idolized the way he made the world interesting with his reality. his world was not so much make believe as it was more why is something this way and why can't it be this instead. i strolled up to my room hoping to avoid my sobbing parent. I thought i was lucky until they waited till i got to my room to confront me about Mike's death. THis is only the tenth time they have tried to break me down since his death. They usual questions of why i didn't want to talk about it or why i won't cry came up. In my mind i knew the answer. he still lived with me but how could i tell them, they would never understand the relationship me and mike had and i knew they wouldn't try to either. I stared at them blankly for minutes while they babled on about how they want to send me to a pychatrist. I just let myself wander in my own thoughts. It was an uneasy night. All i could think about was that i was now misplaced and had no where i belong anymore. I felt useless and my dreams showed horrible images of being denied of life and much more to make me toss and turn in restlessness. I woke the next morning with a horrible feeling that hovered right above my skin. My parents were still in bed and i knew they needed it so i left to go to the shed. I sat back in the chair and my eyes were drawn to that notebook lying on the shelf. I grasped it in my hands and stared at it for awhile before opening it. within it contained poems and drawing and dreams of carious things but what caught my attention was the list of things of what he wanted to do. It contained some things that i thought he would never want to do like go swimming with sharks and see the sunset in Japan just to name a few. then there were some ones i was really interested in. visiting the rainforest and taking pictures of the creatures there. There was another one that mentioned capturing the water of a cave waterfall and then the essence of the full moon on the first day of fallen snow. My eyes glowed at my discovery. I looked outside and noticed that the sun alerted me of it being afternoon already. A plan formed from a storm of possibilities and i was set on going through with it. I gathered the notebook, acouple of candles, a few books for the pile and the blanket that was used as curtain. I raced back home and once i got there a note was left by the phone saying that my parents left to go shopping in the city and they would be home in a few hours. I was barely fazed by the note and ran to my room and pulled out a backpack. I grabbed a couple outfits and a fresh journal. I went to brothers room and grabbed his ring he got for his 18th birthday. I held the ring and couldn't believe he just died exactly a year after he graduated. i would at least wait for my parents to arrive home before i left. They arrived later then planned and i had fallen asleep in the chair with Mike's notebook lying open fallen on the floor. I told them of my plans to go fulfill the wishes in my brothers book. She surprisingly agreed and hugged me fiercly. '' It is what he would want you to do and it is sad to know he will never be able to do them himself.'' she said. i rolled back over in the chair and slept a rather comfortable sleep.

I sat in the car waving goodbye to my father and mother. i had packed more clothes and other necceary things for the long journey ahead of me. My first destination was the mountain in new mexico. mike wanted to see the moon rise on the top of one of cliffs. I had planned to camp there for the night. It was several days later when i finally reached a small town right on the edge a beautiful mountain range. I decided to park my car in the locaal grocery store and hike my way to the mountain. it was just begining to get dark when i decided to stop and make camp. I had a gorgeous view of the night sky. The fire crackled with the sound of a owl and crickets making the night seem ironically empty. The moon was just reaching the horizon as that same feeling of fear washed over me. Out of the darkness the outline of a being was shown but my eyes were only deciving me as i relized it was just a tree swaying sightly in the wind. I let out a sigh of a relief a little to soon. i looked up into the sky and thats was the last thing i saw before i was knocked out. I awoke at the edge of a forest. All i could feel was the light mist as i peered into the dark forest. I stumbled over an oak root that had expressed it's presence. i was mysteriously drawn to the forests rpressed beauty. kneeled on the ground with my hands in the mud i obtained a new view of the bewitching woods. A feeling deluged me as my eyes were ficed on the wonderous scene. The moon just barely shone through the leaves and the ground sparkled despite the darkness of the night. All i could think about was the forest. i stood up terning my gaze to the sky as it glittered with the shining stars. I heard a twig snap and a crash in a near by bush. I was hesitant at first but i eventually walked a couple feet into the trees. I stopped short ofthe bush that had a snapped branch lying next to it. peering closer through the leaves i could see a pair of glowing eyes. They blinked at me going dark then luminous again. i reached out being the inquistive teen i was. It backed up making a rustling sound as it did. Then out of no where a girl jumped in front of me with her long flowing golden hair glistening in the moon light. A light coat of fire fox red fur covered her body which was covered by a short tasseled dress. Her slender legs disappeared into the dark as you reached her feet. she stood staring into my emerald green eyes as i gazed at her glowing eyes. She took a step closer holding an arm out. I raised mine and she quickly grasped my clothing. I was alarmed but relaxed as she felt the material between her fingers. inside i knew she was just as curious as me. Next she went to my silky blonde hair. SHe pushed it behind my ear. Her eyes grew big as she poked my ears. She pulled back her own hair to revral an ear that was sligthly pointed I stood srill as she curcled around me examining every detail her eyes could scan. She began to become more curious and began to poke. one of my sensitive spots were poked and i called out for her to stop as i pulled away giggling. She took a step back with an sad look casted in her eyes. It made me feel guilty and i tried to explain that i was very ticklish. I finally looked up from my long explanation and noticed that she had not understood one word i had said. She walked forward cautiously and titled her head toward mine so that are forheads touched. SHe whispered words that i did not understand and then we stood there for a couple of seconds in silence. I quivered as she backed up. She looked at me and said " hello'' in a sudble voice as if she didn't know what she was saying for a moment. I asked what she just did and she explained that by trying to learn my language she must get as close to the brain as possible. WHich in a weird way made sense.