House of Quirks

This is the “Setting that never was”
While the rest of the threads at least have an air of realism about them, the idea of this thread is to be grossly disproportionate and unrealistic. Upon entering the House of Quirks in addition to everything else around you being grossly disproportionate, a feature of your character will also become grossly disproportionate. This may be a physical feature, or an item worn or carried by the character, or a power they possess. Before advancing beyond the entryway of the house, please leave your initial post at your entry to the place and within 24 hours you will receive a Private Message advising you of what aspect of your character has become disproportionate. For this reason it is absolutely vital that you have your full character description posted in the Character Descriptions subforum.

To exit the house of Quirks through any door other than the one your character entered will result in you seeing a landscape of extreme disproportions as well. An example of what you may see is tiny trees underfoot while tall grass (really tall grass) towers overhead. Since this is the “setting that never was” then what your character sees may not be what other characters also in the house see. An example of that would be you are tiny, and there is a huge chair that your character climbs up into. While for you the chair is huge and you are small, it might be reversed for someone else in the room with you who using their own discretion they may or may not choose to marvel at how such a “small” chair can support such a large creature.

The way to exit the house of Quirks and return to a familiar setting with realistic proportions, can only be done through the door you entered by. Since there is only one entrance and more than one exit, again it is the players discretion whether they exit through the proper door or whether they get confused by trying many doors before finding the right one. Once you have received the private message entailing what is “grossly disproportionate” about your character, please try to incorporate it into how your character is played from your own perspective. For others around you, they may choose to see the disproportion, or see your character simply as character description states.

Example: Character with “long hair” gets “really long hair” as their exaggerated disproportion. Onlookers may choose to marvel at how finely kept this “really long hair” is, or they may choose to wonder why the character behaves as though they have “really long hair” when they only see it as having “long hair”

Example 2: Character with fire fetish perceives flames as MUCH larger than real life. They strike a match and perceive the flame to flare up out of control in their hand, causing them to react however they would to avoid getting burnt. Onlooker may choose to perceive it the same way, or they may wonder why the person is having such an extravagant reaction to merely lighting a match.


A reference thread shall be started in OOC for characters to post which “aspect” of them is “grossly disproportionate” just as a reference for the other players.

Enjoy! And Have fun.

Brushing a stray lock of hair out of her face, Sin nibbled idly on her lower lip, studying the scenery around her. Bleak, desolate, and above all... boring. Eternity wasn't always everything mortals thought it would be. In fact Eternity in reality was definately a whole lot less than it COULD be.

Continuing on, she carried on walking down the moonlit road, away from town, away from elders and chylders and peers and familiars, away from everything. She didn't know where the road led, or if she even had a subconcious destination. Nothing mattered really, if she didn't get out of that godforsaken area she would no doubt turn into a malkavian. And she couldn't have that... she couldn't lose her mind just yet.

After a while the night grew still, the deathly silence which gripped the planet in its eerie grasp between night and day... the time when the night animals were settling down and the day creatures weren't yet awake. It caused her to pause in her step and look around for a shelter of some sort... she may be tired of the madness of town life, but she wasn't quite ready to walk around near sunrise. Spotting what appeared to be a rundown ramshackle building, she went off the beaten path to check it out. Perhaps it wouldn't be quite so full of holes that she'd fry to a crisp. Drawing close she noticed that the front of it was at least all boarded up. With a few moments left before dawn she wandered around it... no doors or windows seemed to show other than the lone door she had initially spotted. With that, she grasped hold of the handle in a death like grip and turned the handle forcefully, stumbling inside as the door opened with ease...

Shutting the door behind her, Sin gazed upwards in awe. It was if she was in a whole different house than the one she had spotted. The interior was enormous, the ceiling far above her head. Turning to shut the door behind her caused her to glance down, the sight striking terror into her immortal soul, rooting her to the spot, too scared to take another step. Not ONLY was the ceiling far above her forehead, but the floor was far far below her.

The furniture looked like it belonged in a doll house. Quite certain that it was regular sized and just because she was so high up, Sin whimpered and inched around to exit through the door she had just entered. Wall greeted her... groaning and dreadfully fearful of the worst, she clenched her eyes shut and then slowly opened one, craning her head forward in an attempt to look down without losing her balance from the stilts she appeared to be teetering on. Indeed there it was... maybe if she could take off her boots she could get down somehow to ground level, to escape this madness. So there she stood... horror struck and rooted to her spot in terror of falling, unsure how to get out or back to the ground she was so far away from. Obsidian eyes widened, she stood like stone, hoping that perhaps some other poor soul would come along and help her figure out how to get out of this predicament she found herself in..

To any animals that were airborne, it looked like a miniature tornado racing along the road. To the animals that weren't... well they were hiding from the abomination anyways. So save for the brief glimpses they saw of it before they went crashing off the path into the underbrush, they didn't really see much of anything.

With a cloud of flame red hair billowing about her face, Shimmer slowly moved from a crouch upon her motorized dishwasher to a standing up fighting position. With sunshine yellow eyes glittering and black lips contrasting starkly against the transparent white of her skin, she ran a pink tongue over her teeth before relaxing and glancing down at the basket of deodorant that rested at her feet. What flavor would today be?

Unclasping the 8 foot long bullwhip which was coiled at her hip, she held onto the handle letting the tail of it snake towards the ground before snapping her wrist, a resounding "CRACK" booming through the area while her dishwasher took the cue and slowed to a standstill. Off to the side of the road was what appeared to be a decrepit shack. Slithering off the edge of her dishwasher, Shimmer clasped her basket of deodorant tightly to her chest and headed towards the building. She could no doubt make the place smell better, and with luck there might be something interesting inside like a dead body or two for her to play dolls with. As she drew nearer, she could see that the door was ajar and a statue-like figure stood just within. Afraid of being spotted, she ducked back around the corner of the house, waiting a while before venturing again closer to the open door. The figure within stood exactly as it had before. Curious if perhaps it was petrified, Shimmer crossed the threshhold, reaching out to poke the other occupant of the place...

Aurora sat quietly, perched in her spot up in the fork of a tree alongside the road. Her eyes were closed but only to make everything that much clearer. The mental link between herself and her falconer hawk was open, and so she saw her surroundings through the eyes of a predatorial bird. Disturbance on the horizon caught her curiosity, and she studied it as it grew steadily closer. Not even with the keen sight of a falconer hawk though, was she able to figure it out.

Opening her eyes she glanced down the road in the direction the disturbance was heading from. Before long she spotted it rounding a bend and approaching at a rapid pace. It passed her, and even at this close range she wasn't able to make out much other than a billow of dirt, and a cloud of what might be red hair, flying past on a box of some sort. Very strange happenings indeed in this region to be sure. Clambering down from the fork of the tree in which she'd been resting, Aurora set off down the road after the thing that had just passed.

Circling overhead the falconer hawk kept up easily with the cloud of dirt and billowing hair, watching intently as a figure slid off the box like thing and entered a ramshackle building off the road. Flapping its wings with talons outstretched, the predatorial bird landed on the box type thing... inspecting it closely. There was a panel of buttons at the back, and other than that it wasn't clear what made it move. Perched there, the falconer hawk awaited the arrival of it's mistress patiently.

He was sitting, gazing at the sky.
just looking as if he was lost in the clouds.
silently he sais "mother.. why this gift? this curse?"

slowly he walks away from a pile of bodys, one in the arms of the other.
he thinks- "what has this world come to? four people, fighting, using love to kill eachother. each one telling a worst lie than the other. why would one use love fo death, why did they all? was ending them the right thing to do? was the hate song the right song to sing? i guess it was.. i guess it was"

he walks down by the river slowly, still thinking, still looking at the sky.
his golden hair blowing in the breeze.
he bends down to the river, spraying water at his face, drinking cleaning himself.
he thinks "maybe if i was to go deaf, and not hear the filth of this world, only than will i be able to do nothing about it.
why do they trust me?
why do they tell me these things?
its like they want me to make the change"

he gazes upon his reflection in the water, his deep eyes, scare away the fish.

as he walks along the river, a house, one hes never seen before in this part of the forrest appears.
"Strange.. i dont recall this ever being here, or am i far away from my camp?"

he walks slowly to it..
looking, listening..
"Hello" he yells..
but no reply.
he looks at the door, and puts his hand on it.
he slowly opens it.

looking inside he sais "theres only one way to kill the darkness.. you must enter it"

he takes a deep breath, and slowly walks in.

Smallclouds of dust sprung from the road as he wandered towards the place that was his destination. He had heard the rumors, the stories of this place. None of them were believable, but they were interesting all the same. Marcus coughed as the dust from the road filled his lungs.

His grip tightened on the quarterstaff as he saw a bird circling above the strang house. His eyes squinted slightly as he gazed at the damned thing, just before it descended towards the house. His pace remained unburdened and soon the house loomed over him as he looked up to it.

Some strange device stood on the other side of the house, he saw it standing when he abandoned the road. As he approached it he saw a falcon sitting atop the strange box. Clearing his throat from the last remains of dust, he looked around to see if anyone else was here. The door caught his eye and he turned towards it. His hand reached for the handle as he cautiously walked towards it. Turning the handle, he looked back just too make sure and stepped into the house.

Standing there, Sin scowled ferociously... not at all impressed with her situation. As soon as she could get down, she was going to walk out that door. After a while, she tested the weight of the huge spikes to see if she could move at all. Finding them surprisingly lightweight, she moved both arms to stick straight out on either side of her like small children do if walking a railing…. For balance. Confidence rising slightly in her predicament, she took a small step, then another. A nervous smile began to inch its way around her lips as she pondered the possible benefits of such huge spikes. Her heels had been deadly weapons before when they were only 4 inches. Now that they were huge, they could probably impale 6 or 7 people on them… such fun…

It was with that thought in her mind that she noticed a flame red bush entering the house far below her. Eyes as yellow as the sunshine she no longer got to see glanced up at her, sparkling with something completely unrecognizable. It was as if the one who had just entered was looking straight through her…or maybe it was just because she was so high up that it seemed that way to her. Quirking a brow, she watched as the new occupant of this house reached up towards her nose… Eyes growing wide she look alarmed and then really nervous again as she took several careful steps back… arms still out to either side of her. This vampire had arms almost as long as she her heels had become!!

“Don’t!!”

Sin just barely managed to get the word uttered; the fingertip froze just a fraction away from the tip of her nose… slowly the arm retracted and went back to looking normal size again. Fear drove deep into her heart, she knew what her heels could do because they were hers… there was no telling what that arm could do. It wasn’t hers…

Hearing a small giggle she glanced down at one of the chairs… horror now fully had control of Sin’s facial features. In the chair was a small girl-like figure with brilliant green eyes and long platinum hair with a grey outfit. This house had children. There had to be something else to the girl than what met Sin’s eyes. Surely no mortal child would be silly enough to enter a house where they were initially greeted by a vampire raised up on huge metal spikes..? Brushing the thought aside Sin looked back to the door as yet more entered. Slowly she glanced over her shoulder before moving with great care and consideration towards the furthest wall. For now it appeared she was to remain in the building. There was no possible way that she could leave and expect to find cover before dawn. So she stood… watching the occupants as they entered and wary of each of them.

“Don’t…”

The word crept past the lips near which her hand hovered… causing Shimmer to pause and finally drop her hand back down to her side. The lady who had stood still for so long had shouted out the word almost desperately. Shrugging slightly Sin at least knew she was alive, and took a look around what could only be described as the whacked interior. Frowning somewhat she lifted her hands in a half fist and rubbed her eyes. The colors were bright yes, but they shouldn’t hurt her eyes really… after all, she herself was pretty bright to gaze upon with her flame red hair and bright sunshine yellow eyes.

A whimper escaped Shimmer’s glossy black lips as she continued rubbing her eyes ferociously… finally she lowered her hands down to her sides, staring at the carpet beneath her feet and blinking several times. It was smoking.. or starting to. As if her eyes were two miniature suns and the carpet couldn’t stand to be that close. That couldn’t be right however. She was a vampire, and vampires couldn’t be in the sun. Though… this time it was as if the sun was in her. Terrified of burning everything in sight including herself, Shimmer ran forward and shut her eyes. Arms outstretched she kept her eyes clamped shut, using her hands to feel out what seemed to be a chair, a table… various other pieces of furniture… a screeching wail broke forth from her throat, a deep guttural sound of sorrow and pure misery. Hands came up to knead through her hair, grasping handfuls and tugging on them in frustration…

Wanting to sit down she started to lower herself, catching her bum on the edge of a coffee table she jumped up again yelping. Sadness filled her heart as Shimmer sought out the figure of a chair with her hands… the figure she associated in her mind with her mother. Chairs had legs, so did she. Chairs had arms… so did she. Chairs had a back, and a seat. So did she… Having nothing else to go by, and nobody to teach her any different she had come to think she was the daughter of a chair. So she clung to the chair whimpering, hands tightly clutching the leg… eyes still clamped shut. Wanting nothing more than to leave, Shimmer pondered how she was to find the door out… wishing her mom could show her. Unfortunately her mother’s legs were stiff with arthritis and so she didn’t move..

Moving steadily along the path down which Shimmer had just passed Aurora reopened the mental link between herself and her falconer hawk… some interest piquing as she studied its surroundings. It was perched on what appeared to be a dishwasher, though why someone would leave an abandoned dishwasher in the middle of the road was quite unexplainable.

Before long both it and her sweet pet were in view, as well as a decaying pile of lumber which looked as though it may have at one point been a house. Studying the dishwasher a moment longer she frowned at the buttons… they weren’t anything she’d ever seen before on any other dishwasher… perhaps this was the “box” that the creature had been riding… though she couldn’t recall knowing of any dishwashers that moved. Shrugging lightly she glanced back towards the house, hearing sobbing, giggling, as well as other movement within. Alarm rose, for the house surely could not be fit to have any occupants. Surely it would collapse and injure all who were within. Heading over there she studied the door a moment before grasping hold of the handle and stepping within…

Still holding onto the handle her mercury silver eyes grew wide with shock and she gasped for breath, nearly choking on the sensations that overwhelmed her mind… Without drawing on the energies of any of her contacts, the entry to the house had somehow linked her to them… and she felt everything that they did both physically and emotionally. She could see the creature which had been flying down the road earlier was now huddled up hugging a chair, groaning as if in absolute mental agony herself… Sinistress who she knew from having encountered on a few previous occasions was standing statue still over by a wall, staring down the length of her nose in disgust and horror and confusion at the crowd which was gathered within.. Occasionally she would lift one foot and then put it down… then lift the other. All the while both of her arms were sticking straight out to either side of her. Closing her eyes, Aurora cringed as she struggled to regain control of the sensations which swamped her. It was futile… almost choking with the battle within her as well as all her contacts, she stumbled backwards, exiting the house and releasing the door handle as she fell back to the ground exhausted.

Having grown only slightly more accustomed to the idea of towering *this* far above the rest of the house's occupants, Sin continued to study the doorway. In the midst of her watching it however her attention was distracted by the girl child who was occupying one of the toy chairs... Amusement crossed her features as she studied the small one depart the chair and cross over to a mirror. The reflection was pretty much impossible for Sin to see from her viewpoint so she glanced over at the doorway yet again, holding back a chuckle of mirth at seeing one of her own acquaintances who was usually so composed, completely disoriented and anything but composed.

Aurora looked like she was having a miniature seizure in the doorway, one that lasted quite a few moments before she fell backwards in a faint. Bursting out laughing Sin doubled over with mirth, at last the queen of tidy had finally made a mess of herself... it was about bloody time. While laughing she glanced back towards the girl child who was still at the mirror... the mere fact that she was still there staring in awe and rapture at her own reflection nearly causing Sin to gag and lose her balance entirely. Seemed like all the children she had encountered through the ages had this affliction of being self-centered... the sooner she could get out of here and feast the better... but the question was how would she get down...?

With that, she turned her attention back to her toes and studied her problem intently...