AvP
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Utter tripe.
Anyone surprised? I'm not. Who ever was behind this movie had no love for any of the things involved. From the movies this was based ...
Anyone surprised? I'm not. Who ever was behind this movie had no love for any of the things involved. From the movies this was based off of to history, they didn't care.
One saving grace, it moved quickly.
There was the complete and final overkill of the Bishop character (quick quiz, was the first synthetic in <i>Alien</i> named Bishop? ) and the "creative" forces behind it took a little too much inspiration from <i>Aliens</i>, <i>Jurassic Park</i>, and <i>Terminator</i>.
The aliens themselves, while they looked pretty, moved in a far less graceful manner than they should have, by any means. The queen was the size of a T-Rex... and also moved and behaved in a non-alien like way.
And then there was the "story line."
Whoooo boy.
And they called my precious-es (aka, the aliens) ugly mother fuckers.... twice! Well... once and then ugly mother fu- once.... But still! They are certainly anything but ugly and they most definitely do not have sex with any one's mothers!
At least I can say that I didn't expect anything more than I got :p
Keep me rather in this cage and feed me sparingly if you dare
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And the movie took place during "current times".
Yes?
And of course, we didn't meet Aliens until Ripley's little voyage in space with one.
And even then, we didn't truly meet a nest until Aliens.
(\ /)
(O.o)
(> <)
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i can SORT of see the Weyland angle of backstory since the big W is "The Company"... from what i remember of my Alien lore, nothing ever says that Weyland didn't know about the xenos, just that they hadn't found any until Mother and Nostromos crew visited the ship.
but... yeah, other than that, it looks like a throw together "Vs." flick with a few canon tidbits to keep the rabid fanboys from railing against it...
i wonder what the next "Vs." movie will be? Superman V. Batman? X-men V. Street Fighter? Lavern V. Shirley (go Penny Marshal, Go!)?
___Nick_the_Rogue___
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"But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy." L.G.
wait... how would they work with Hyde? i mean... Helsing killed hyde, but hyde was a good guy... and Peta Wilson and Helsing going all coochie-la-la and... NOOOOOO, not Peta, not my Peta... not MY Peta... she would... Nikita... NOOOOOOOOOOOO
___Nick_the_Rogue___
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"But this is America, where we unapologetically bastardize other countries' cultures in a gross quest for moral and military supremacy." L.G.
Here is my review. Now I usually only post my review over on 'Movie Bitch' but in this case I'm going to post it twice.
Ahemmmm....
Note: Contains Spoilers
The Good:
I used the free ticket from "The Predator" Collector's Edition DVD. So I didn't spend any money.
The Bad: (Deep Breath)
The Script:
What a HUGE piece of shit. Some of THE worst lines and situations that could have possibly happened did. It was a fucking joke.
The Acting:
Horrible. There was NO redeeming factor here... everyone sucked! It was overacted and pathetic. Especially the lead female (I am not going to even bother finding out her name) She is now on the top of the list for worst characters in a Sci-Fi Horror and that says a lot.
The Special Effects:
The aliens looked good and some of the CG shots were kind of neat, but I guess in their huge budget they could not afford to add in the effects of breath in cold areas. These people are in MOTHERFUCKING ANTARTICA!!!
AND WHEN STANDING OUTSIDE YOU CAN'T SEE THEIR FUCKING BREATH!
Which is the tip of the iceberg (No pun intended) Does anyone here have any clue just how cold this continent is??? It is not weekend resort "I got my ski jacket and booties!" weather!!! It is so fucking cold there your breath can freeze to the outside of your mouth and that is during the daytime, and this shit took place at night. And yet that bitch can take off her jacket and run around without us even seeing her cheeks get rosy??? Please.
And how about those Predator costumes. I have one question. Where the fuck was Stan Winston when we needed him. These things looked fucking goofy.
The Sound:
I could have really used some different background tunes from time to time. And where the fuck was the cool 'Predator's Vision' sound effect.... NOT IN THIS MOVIE. Sure these are the little things, but dammit the little things matter when dealing with not just one, but 2 great franchises.
The Ugly:
This shit here made me want to leave the theater... something I have never done.
They took the 'Alien' and 'Predator' franchises and took a big juicy shit all over them. Nothing seemed to hold up...
1. I don't think that a Predator would team up with a human to kill anything...it would kind of ruin the pride in the killing, which is what it is all about for a Predator. That would be like a human teaming up with a cow to go into the woods and kill a deer. It just wouldn't make sense....
2. I do believe, going off of the first Alien films, that it took about a day for a Face Hugger to lay the Alien embryo inside a human host. In this film it took about 2 minutes. Then upon laying said embryo, it took several hours to grow to chest bursting level. THEN it takes Considerable time for that Alien to grow to a full size. In this movie, that all took about a twenty minutes of 'their' time.
3. The team that went down into the pyramid was like around... I would say 15 people. After the dying begins there are like 30 fucking aliens chasing around the survivors.... that's right SURVIVORS, meaning that not all 15 people had died, some were running around, others were waiting to become hosts.... So where the fuck did all of these aliens grow from?
4. When the final Predator sets his wristband bomb in the egg chamber, he and the lead female seem to magically find a beeline from that room Straight to the front door. Question: If it was that simple to get out of there, why didn't they leave sooner!?!?
The inconsistency of this film was laughable.
4. Here is the WORST insult to the Alien and Predator movies. PG-13. What the FUCK???? You would think that the fan base of these past movies would be sufficient enough to not have to widen the spectrum by toning down the film to the point of No cursing and Shitty violence.
A main reason that the original films where so popular was due to the awesome violence and colorful language. Not to say that the story was not the main attraction, it was, but this film didn't have anything good to carry us through the chopped up action and dialogue scenes.
A PG-13 Alien/Predator movie is a slap in the face to all fans of the originals.
0 outa 5
What a piece of Cinematic Shit.
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Coldplay = Shit I Don't Pay Prostitutes For Sex,
I Pay Them To Leave Afterward. ~Charlie Sheen
And the sad part is, even your review-stomping all over the shit-flick-cannot possibly show how terrible this film is. I HATED it. I never say that about movies, but this one gets my CREAM OF THE CRAP award for the year. It simply cannot be possible to make a worse film than this one this year.
Hollywood,
"You son of a BITCH!"
>:-)
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Well... once and then ugly mother fu- once.... But still! They are certainly anything but ugly and they most definitely do not have sex with any one's mothers! 
and... NOOOOOO, not Peta, not my Peta... not MY Peta... she would... Nikita... NOOOOOOOOOOOO
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