lonely breathing holes

vigorous, strenuous tedium
pushing me, shaking me violently
cancerous, yellowing eyes
pushing me...dragging me down...
slowly, i count the hours, they...
drift by with the eyes of strangers
these memories, laid before me like...
sunshine fading to black
in this bleeding, hopeless falsity
draining me, sucking me dry
ignoring, as an act of negligence
maybe some day youll see what you threw away...

Teeming with dreary meaninglessness/my lovely acquaintance

Failing eyes fall back to sleep
This dimming, fading glow of hope
Raze myself to bits of rubble
Mirroring my former carcass
Clutching onto this fair seraph
She is beautiful indeed (like art)
Overcoming what’s been done to me
An unforgiving host of flies…
Gradually, I am returning
To the hollow shell I’ve left here broken
Needless words sing songs of whispers
Cold inside my jaded hole
Unmistaken waves of silence
Juxtaposed with my endeavor
Closing off the one in paper chains
One love I know will never die
I slice myself asleep again
Cannot progress because my need
Who am I but a malfunction?
Fading into somnolence…
Dizzy tremors, cold and choking,
Choking on my own importance
Tachycardiac dejection
Self-control, self-medicate
User-friendly pills with bottles
Only there to make you suffer
Time wont mean a thing in time,
Blackened I have lost restraint
One more adrenergic swallow
Followed by this aching emptiness…

d.n.m.d.i.w.x.l.e.n.

OCD

Consumed by things that do not matter
Jaw clenches, I grind my teeth again
I have now come to realize
That it has cast out my only friend
My dire need for dying
One more look and ill keep shaking
This all-consuming torment
Kill this love that I’ve been making
Roses decay to nothing,
And happiness is far away today
This overwhelming feeling
Takes control while I just drift away
My embodiment is heartnumb
Because I cant take the pain that you instill
I thought I heard you whisper
Just another void I cannot fill
You leave me stale and empty
No more sign of hope for me today
I try to keep on breathing
But I cant make these feelings go away…
(And though I loved you so, you and I just fade away)

This misdirected viral side-defect

Thine eyes be there for seeing
Lavender placenta on the floor
Cold as the ground I walked on
At least fifty-thousand years ago
My heart is meant for breaking
Take me now and throw my soul away
Sapphire space before me
Totally denying me of air
So close that I can feel you
Make this suffocation go away
Emerald eyes keep glancing
Breaking through this wall like gasoline
Six-thousand lies I’ve spoken
Makes no difference in here anyways
Those scarlet lips I cherished
Cold and thus disgusting like the air
These auburn tears I’ve cried
Tell me there’s an ending to this,
Darkened long mosaic tragedy…

hmm very good stuff here. it sounds as if you might have just experienced a loss here?

more like continual loss

She hates me

My brigandine wont save me from the snares that will impair my violence,
One last taste of listless lemonade and i am suddenly delayed
I find that happiness is just a dream i have before i die
This suicidal silence slowly illustrates this paralyze

your terminology reminds me of maynard keenan's. probably for good reason. creative minds influence creative minds.

as far as the loss goes, it's funny, but when you're serious i still get it. i even have a hint of relating to what you're talking about. no one said life is good except those who didn't really mean it.
but there are good things in life. keep those things in mind, especially when the storms hit.

i agree, also I think sometimes a list of bad things happen to us cause we need to learn something, whether it is to be empathetic to a situation for someone else at a later time, or to help strength your own self and let you realize you are stronger then you give yourself credit for, I am not sure. but keep your head up, that way anyone swinging at you needs to look ya in the eye to do it and you might be able to deflect the blow a bit.

And soon I’ll be gone

No more love ensigns this landscape
Deep holes I can dig inside me
Dirty little hands are shaking
Chances that were not worth taking
Brought me here to this disaster
Cut away the sand and plaster
Wake myself in overdrive
I need to know that I’m alive





Machineface

Hanging over the border, walled up and examining
Apex residually swirling, hammering…
Diamond apocalypse locks its disease
In a fictitious, rhythmic, incredible seize
Standing in the rain…
I hate you bin laden

hm well that was emotional, but I am not sure how.