I started with a simple emotion for this and as I found the modivation to play with it, I came up with another revision. Tell me what you think.















And the new revision..........

Your own opinion notwithstanding (goober) your work is very good--bery heartfelt, full of pain...

For some reason, I like reading about pain. I'm probably twisted and evil somewhere--that would explain that.

But, point is--that is great, and you should post thousands more.

So there.

oh yeah?


uh..... well.... fine I just might!

What? No--don't do that! That would surely show me, and put me in my place! No!


(I love inverse psychothaulogy er--whatever...)

*was being sarcastic!*

Wait... Does that mean you are...not...are... Going to... not...

DAMN! Caught in my own web of lies and treachery! Noooooooo!!!

Ha ha!

Laying motionless in our isolated realm
Yearning for the touch of your flesh


My tears provide me the warmth
That you are unable to give


A hunger so strong it makes me ill
To be so far from your hand


Arising to meet the new pain
The days only seem longer


As it seems you slipping away




The heart that bleeds tears
Silently drowns me to sleep


Motionless in our isolated realm
A hunger so strong makes me weak


The dull warmth of misery
Rids me briefly of your absence


Forcing me to greet emptiness with a smile
Ill in the state of helplessness


Mind and body broken away from reality
Free to sleep sound from pain


Hoping I'd catch a glimpse of you
In my darkest most bittersweet dreams




The two versions are both great, I luv them both.
One just expresses it a little more.
And now I wait till you write another one

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Hee hee okay hun...


I likes the siggy you got goin on! HA!


I'll work on a new poem today sometime. Tell seester and momma sue I said hey.

Your a great writer.....you should continue as the words come to you. So many of us have to force them out. Good poetry comes from those few who do it effortlessly.
That last one would be a great song.

I wil tell them for you, Glad you like the siggy, soon a pic to join the words.lol

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oh jeebus!

do you dissagree on the pic idea or sumtin?...huh twiggy? huh?

Deep ends on what it tis~


Hmmm remember freezing in the river at midnight?

Yes I do, We were being sooo smart that We decided to go swimming at night. lol

But it was fun, and worth it.

T-

to bad we weren't nekkid!

lol, I had thought about it......Butit was cold out and you know what cold water does to a guy.....
T-

::blinks::

So, which one of you is primal, and which one is refined?

This is one of those "comparitive surveys" right?

**blinks**

Umm I am neither.........Survey?.....where did that come from

AND WHY YOU BLINKING????
comparative?.........I missed sumtin...DAMNED!
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