a post-Valentine thought - Darkforum.com - Dark Stories, Dark Art, Poetry, Photography, Debates and Discussions

Hexsass · **a post-Valentine thought -** 02-19-03

"In a Heart-Shaped Box"

Caramel coated,
Anger flavoured,
Nougut centered, and wrapped in
Discontent--
Impotent
Emotional
Display

Amnesty of wrong-doings through
Floral
Fantasy, and
Empathetic
Confections? A
Trance of Treats
Is not a substitute for
Oral expression.
Needless nuptuals pacify valid intentions.

No, I'm not bitter about Valentine's Day. I just don't see the point. Can't love be expressed without the reproductive organs of plants and fatty foods?

**the first letter of each sentence read veritcally spells CANDIED AFFECTION**

RedMeat · 02-20-03

I would have changed "Is not a substitute for" to "insincere substitue for", "oral expression" to "open affection" and "wrong-doings" to "lies" but then I`m one of the worst people anyone could ask to critique art of any kind lol.

Hexsass · 02-20-03

Thank you, Redmeat, for your honesty. I could agree on two of those changes, but i like the expression "wrong-doings" cause it adds a slight childish flair and "lies" would be too specific. As for "oral expression," my style tends to sound like a scientific manual at times, the dryness shows the fundamental nature of the content. Your suggestion would be more poetic, though. Again, thanks for the critisism; I hope you'll keep it coming.

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