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Poetry Discuss an older song in the The Pen forums; once again i bid my fairwell these moments we spend neither heaven or hell i close my eyes and lay my head whats done is done whats dead is dead ...

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  (#1) Old
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an older song - 01-12-02

once again
i bid my fairwell
these moments we spend
neither heaven or hell
i close my eyes
and lay my head
whats done is done
whats dead is dead

all of my love i send with thee
as you lay down into the sea
trapped forever in eternity
everything you'll ever be
everything you mean to me
is locked away in your box
i close my eyes and swalloe the key

once again i bid my fairwell
the moments we spent
neither heaven or hell
i open my eyes
and raise my head
whats done is done
what once was live is dead

i love you throughout time and error
i love you through pain i can hardly bear
the pain of severence space and time.
ill love you forever in my mind


growing sour
  
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laazarus is Offline
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great work bud - 01-18-02

thats cool so let me read some more.


You have stabed and slashed the heart of darkness and her blood has staind these pages
  
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doebathory is Offline
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01-19-02

wow. that was almost poe-esque. beautiful. the length of verse and the rhythm is great, though the last verse seems a little superfluous.




I'll try being nicer if you try being smarter.
  
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