~*Martyr*~

This pain is eating away
at my tangled vains,
and I'm dying on your cross.
This slow disease
runs through my blood,
recycling,
and my hands are nailed
to the holy wood.
Nothing to purify this hate,
Nothing to wash away these sins.
My heart feels like lead...
...so cold and sterile,
and I know I can't escape this time.
So place your halo of thorns
upon my dying face,
the end is sooner then I can feel

~in memory of my brother~

DEAR NICK,
you tried so hard to stay strong,
but the disease just ate you away,
it recycled through your blood
and left you so drained.
Somtimes I feel so helpless,
like I'll never escape this emptiness
that scarred me when you left.
I miss you more than anything.
I watched you deteriate,
you became so weak,
but no matter how hard it was,
you kept a smile
and tried to ignore how painful it was,
and I know it hurt like hell.
I wanted so much to save you,
but all I could do is watch
as you slowly faded away.
i blame myself
for not being there for your last breath,
it left a deep cut
engraved in my heart,
it'll never heal - it'll never go away
and I'll never recover
the time that was stolen from us.
I was a corpse
the day that you died,
and I'm still stained
from how much you suffered..

jan. 23, 1979 to may 23, 2000
cause of death: Leukemia, too much chemio therapy

i dont have anything constructive to say... but i do look forward to reading more
profanity