ME

It's a mask I wea
Can you see through it?
I'm trying to make it solid
But you saw right through
Am I that weak?
That much of a fool
I thought I could trick you
Make you think I was strong
Where I'm really weak
No will to go on
Am I that see through?
Can you pick me apart?
I'm nothing that special
But I still have a heart
What do you see?
Tell me so I can bring it out
Did you actually find the real me?
Or did you fall for my body, or look?
Not my mind, or personality
But the deeper I fall, the more I'm on your hook
My crumbling facade
The mask that I wear
Makes me look heartless, odd
I try to be strong
And not cry over you
But you are the only one,
Who can make me this blue
Now tell me
Are you in love with the real me?
Or the mask I wear?

*blushes* I inspire you? Well that is indeed a compiment. I know my thread is long, but I have been posting on it since Apr so I guess it should be since I normally post 2 or 3 poems a night.....but trueth be told, I worked at getting it that long, I wanted to have mine longer then arcole.....hehe, don't tell him that though K.........it was a crazy idea, but *shrugs* i don't know, he is such an amazing writter, I figured if I could have as many pgs as him and still have people reading my work, then well *shrugs again* then I thought I might feel more confident in writing......

hehe....tell him what? i didn't see anything...LOL ....im almost dun reading the thread, i can't read it straight thru though, which is getting on my nerves, but i dont wanna make my friend mad, cause she cool... I hope that I can eventually finish, and then read more...until my eyeballs fall out, cause your awesome.... why wouldn't you inspire me, there are some poems you wrote i can relate too, and others i can't but can imagine...so i guess its 6/one half dozen the other but i'll DEFINTILY put a reply up when i'm done...hehe

yes I got your reply, I can not believe you read all 64 pgs, you are my hero.:p

Bubbling up, boiling over
I can't take it anymore!
How is it you control my emotions?
You reach to my very core
Stirring up things never felt
Then dropping me like a bad habit
I hate the control you have
Yet, at the same time,
I love you being my master
Torn, I lay here shaking
Afraid to cry, be weak
Yet fearless, staring at death
Would you miss me?
If I was gone,
Would you notice?
You're the only one that matters
Only one who ever will
Do you realize you own me?
Yes, you mean that much
Scary, isn't it?
That you carry that much weight
Does it scare you?
To mean that much to me?
See the side of me others aren't allowed to see?
Don't be afraid, I'll be here beside you
Even though I'm not that strong
Or smart, or pretty
I'll try to be good for you, and keep you happy
Wear my mask for all to see
Only you know the unmasked me....

hm many wear masks, though it does not matter which mask you wear for you still will be me hero...........hehe

YAY!!! *claps her hands excitedly* i'm a hero? ooo.... can i get a cool hero name?? hehe i need my mask to convince people i'm not any different from them...*puts on preppy mask* i think this is the most common one....*takes off mask* but i dont know if i like myself unmasked....i can barely look in the mirror, all i see is this horrible, uncaring person staring back at me, and trying to be something she's not.... its depressing...maybe if i figure out what i am, then i'll be truely happy

bery nice!

yes you are a hero and you are not horrible at all, you just have been hurt abit, and if you were truely uncaring then you wouldn't care what you saw in the mirror. But don't go preppy.........they are so without personality most of the time. *sorry to all preps who read this........* and generally if you figure out what and who you are that is the key to happyness..........but from what I understand of it it is a life long process..........so start the journey and good luck. You be a survivor, I know it.

Thank you fallen, thank you lily! you guys help more than you think... its like smiling when someones down..and the only reason i'm down is because of things that are probably unconsequential.... *i do hope i spelled that right* thank you for smiling on my pityful world, even if it is just for a second in time ok, now that i have said too much, and yet soo little, i'll shut up for a bit just watch the bunnies!!!

ahhhhh I shall always smile at ya, well ok not always, I am not a big smiler, but I will always THINK about smileing at ya. and friends generally do help do they not...surely we be friends right now right? Ummmmm maybe I say to much, presume too much........I leave now.........

SmAlL

If I catch a falling star,
Will it burn my hands?
If I try to put out a candle
With just my finger tips
Will I be scarred for life?
Why is it the small things
That mean so much in life
When you don't notice them
Sometimes never?
The way someone can smile
Can light up their face
But their eyes are cutely crooked?
I never noticed I was in love with eyes
Not just a single person
But the eyes of the entire world
It's like watching TV
Through someones window
No sound, just pictures
Random images, playing on a screen
Small things bother me the most
It's so annoying how someone can
Use the last of the toilet paper and not replace the roll
Big things don't bother me as much
You forgive the big, they aren't habit like the small
You would be surprised how much your eyes say
The smallest things outside your body
Even when you're not talking,
They ramble on, ceaselessly unlying
Only practice can quiet them, glaze them over
Looks like we both need more practice
Us with our forced smiles and laughs
Fakers we are, overlooking the big picture
Because our minds are so small

I'm scared to be with you
But I dont want to be alone
I'm scared of losing you
So I'll do it to make you stay
Did you know I'm scared to death?
The thought makes me fear it
Maybe with you it won't be so bad
The blood, the pain...
Will it actually hurt?
God i'm so scared...
Will you understand?
It's not you, its never you
It's weak little me
But I'll do it for you
I'll face my worst fear
I'll, I'll....
I don't think I can
I know I must be strong...
It's something every girl does
But are they all as scared as me?
Nope...didn't think so...
I'm just a weak one
Who's scared to be touched
Shrinking back from your gentle hand
I need your strength to be there
For all of mine is gone
I'm too afraid to go through with it
Even though deep inside I want to
It will help prove my love to you...
I wish I wasn't so chikenshit
This would be much easier
I'm probably scared of nothing bad
I hope.....

yes we be friends becka..... and I love smiles most of all, well no I take that back, I still love fire, but smiles is a close second.

YAY!!! *mentally adds White Lily to her friends list* hehe are you posting more poems tonite?? cause you rule!! *ooo...i'm an asskisser* seriously rule!! lol, i better shut up again.... i'll just watch the bunnies!

i really like your writing, you have a unique view on writing. But i like it. If you ever get the chance take a look at some of my stuff, tell me what you think

becka I don't think that if I wrote anything that it would be very logical tonight so I think I best keep quiet.

otay lily...if you think so...what is wrong though?? pm me!!
Sicness of course i'll read some of your stuff, i think i have b4 and just not said anything...stupid me.. but i will tonite otay?

don't worry becka, tis just a migrain caused from stress, tension, my head caving in and a few other factors which I can't think of at the moment.

aww....*hands lily bottle of excedrin* if that dont work...give head...some of my friends and i used to joke that if you had a headache/migraine you should give head to someone...we thought it was funny till someone took us seriously and said it worked!!!!