painful orgasms
euphoria leaking
the desolate shadows growing warm
and hatred eyes a disguise of love;
fantasies are fantastic, but cliché
like time lies, tomorrow is yesterday
and all anyone can show for it is - is it for show?
sometimes meaning means something
but who really gives a fuck anymore
when bombs rain and children scream
and women bleed and men dream…
knightmares left best for chess,
shining armor that’s scratched
and cracked, like drugs and asses,
sell your hole for a soul
and run naked with whores climbing church steps,
don’t forget to pray for the prey
and pay your dues and do what is asked
unless the request is to do your best,
for never could you ever do better…
redemption is for those locked away
in chains, in a leaky basement,
where screams are futile
and muffled by naivety
for such things can’t happen to you,
as if STD’s don’t mind sharing tales,
nor the angry alcoholic rambling at the bar
who always drinks it straight
because AIDS have fags,
so remember to hate hate
and love one another,
because it’s so right to be trite
for there’s no such thing as originality,
only uniqueness for the ignoramus,
which is why we wish to wonder
whether learning is essential,
children must be bought
because love is free yet in need of a sloppy fuck,
it seems people forget the orgasm is a myth
and is actually painful as euphoria ejaculates,
some swallow and some spit,
some even allow it on their tits,
but all in all kissing is in the beginning
since mouths can talk and scream and sing
and whistle and eat and vomit up bile,
all the while consuming the nothingness
that is bliss for ignorance
as letters form words
and words form lines
and lines form structure
and structure forms themes
and themes are what everything means,
unless someone says otherwise,
like the lies of the author
who didn’t wish for things to be so complicated
or so simple
but merely devised all this because boredom is boring

holy hannah, i loved this.

i haven't been reading much of your stuff lately, but i'm used to a lot more vulgar/graphic/etc you know...that genre. But this is something a lot more desolate, reflective, cold and empty. I don't want to sound narcisistic, but, it looks like how ~I~ write poetry. I'm not a poet, but this method of freestyle is the only way I can stammer out words.

favorite line (it was hard to choose) was the pun of the word "nightmare" but in regards to chess, it was "knightmare"....woo. It made the image of the myth of the actual "Nightmare Horse that flies in our dreams" (dunno what culture it originated from, sorry) jump right into my mind.

At first, I thought you should have broken this up into stanzas, but then I read it again and felt that everytime you mentioned an offensive word or phrase, it seemed to break the thought up and shift to another thought. The change is slight, mind you, because I haven't yet decided what I feel the theme should be. (I think you should give this a title)...

A personal line that stuck out for me (actually in terms of this message board) was the line:

"and love one another,
because it’s so right to be trite"

because (not like you care, but this is just my response, so ) Hexass said something very similar about my poetry/lyrics thread once...eh, anyway..

another thing I enjoyed about this piece is how it felt you twisted common phrases, such as:

"sell your hole for a soul"

Where it would normally be presented as selling your soul for a hole. Again, it's might feel slight, but that's what I love about being cryptic: the ablity to make a reader/listener give a second thought to what a cliche phrase might mean. (I love fucking with people's heads, heh)

Other than that, you rhymed once. Not that ~I~ mind, but you're the rhyme nazi and there were some lines that felt rather cliche. These are things that you are normally against. I don't mind them at all when used properly, which I felt you did here.

Good job.

I liked it, but it's difficult to read such a large block of text with ease.

no, no, no, NO!!!!!! this is really starting to aggravate me (no offense), but you're like the fifth person to say i hate "rhyme".....i don't fuckin' hate rhyme!!!! i like rhyme....i hate "rhyme scheme"

but thanx for the replies.....BANANA!

ok, you've really got to explain to me this "banana" thing..

i like bananas

damn. good answer.

is slim shady aware of you borrowing his act?

actually, i thought this was pretty weak, only slight variations on subjects or images that you've touched on previously many times over. what's interesting is that you seem to know it, and make a point of it in each piece. an attempt to save face perhaps? who knows... but you look to be over with this type of work. find some greener pastures, pal. invention's greatest enemy is comfort.

it's just you seem to be stuck on repeat. your fiction/storytelling techniques are class, ever thought about implementing those into your shorter verse?

i am on repeat...most definately

but how do you mean implementing my fiction techniques into my poetry?

and um...did you ever read any of my "puzzle" poems?

Ignore this... go to next post...

Why won't you marry me, damnit!

i'm not ready for a serious commitment?

Stupid man....