Me
----------------------------------------------------------------------
Rendered to nothingness,
lost in an abyss of tears
meaningless, save
for what others want of me
the veneer thins
a paper crust
cracking, spiderweb fine
buckling, releasing all
in slow bleeding sores
dying bit by bit
held together
only by their needs
I no longer know
who
or
what
I
am.


2002/DMA Snapps

Hey welcome honey I can not believe Ure ME piece, WOW, I say that for I too have one quite like it. it heads my graphics~photo/pics~ thread with most of my pics in it but here it is anyways written quite a long time ago;




Me

The Black-Void
Drawing in all life
Nothing but negativity
negative energy, negative intentions
Force, so powerful, so irresistable
Yet so dark, so hopeless
Like a tornado it will storm in to your life
Leaving devastation and depression on its trail
Stay clear of its path
Avoid gazing into the eye of the storm
For like a child this beast intends no harm
But suffering seems to follow this black hole that is ME.

AK
Copyright ©2001 AK

and this is a more updated me;

Me-II.......

Accelerated condition leaves me
No longer in stance, I’ve begun
My descent, into what and where

Unaware I fall, falling upwards
Looking down at me, it’d seem
Who I was yesterday, no longer

Do I Recall, who I’ll be tomorrow,
I care not to foresee, so today as I
May no longer be who I’d been told

To be, nor who they taught me to
Be, there just may be much more to
Me, born of struggles amid humble
Noblity and sincere vanity a haze

Raised of sweat and blood to blind
My eyes, yet today I caught a faint
Glimpse of I, a glance through at
The one whom I am to be.

AK
Copyright ©2002 AK

What you are, who you are
is reflected in the dark recesses
hidden in the depths
of your glorious eyes.
Walk with me in darkness,
dance beneath the moon,
laugh at foolish sunlight,
sleep untroubled dreams.
Mine will be the heart
given without asking
offered for your taking.
Blood and flesh,
is all I am.
but all I am is yours.
Accept me ,
this twisted creature
of shadowed worlds,
bound to be what I will,
and I vow to cherish
all that you
will ever be.

Keep missing you online..thought maybe ~pouts~
you were avoiding me...?

Hiding
____________

She hides,
seeing the competition,
knowing herself unworthy,
retreats into another self,
playing only a perky smile
so others will not see.

Tease, laugh,
eyes bright with unshed tears,
mistaken for happiness,
abandonment
burns her heavy heart,
Was it all in her mind?

How did she allow this
to happen again,
to feel the euphoria,
knowing her place is not
as his heart's love?
Her fate is to be ever alone.

Chosen sister to a few,
beloved friend of many,
she plays life's games,
hiding her solitary heart
behind a shimmering wall
of her forbidden tears.

2002/DMA/Snapper

:crying

Sleep?
--------------


A precious commodity,
sought and enjoyed by many,
energizing creativity,
harboring imagination,
sleep is but a horror
when demons stalk your
unconscious mind.
Innocence twisted,
deformed by subtle touches
designed to delight,
they bring agony.
True essence revealed,
taloned angels claw,
dripping venom
into mind's recesses
best left untouched.
Loss and shame claim
rights never granted,
thrusting in,
shaking hooded heads
and phallic weapons.
Nightmares
daring hope to come,
peace to try.
Sweet journey
drives hard lessons,
one nail at a time,
into psyche.
Trust, fleeting
and elusive,
floats at the edge
of words gently spoken.
Sleep comes
embracing and warming,
bringing memories,
bringing the nightmares.
Screams echo unheard.
Mine or the others,
I no longer remember,
just the screams
waking me
everynight.

2002/DMA

Sleep II
-------

These dreams, again and again
circle the night
yet when comes the day
they remain
ever in the back of my mind
searching for a hold
tearing a bit out of sanity
bringing tears
to wash the sights way
bringing pain
to banish memories.
is there nothing
to end these dreams
letting me sleep
as normal dreamers do
or am I cursed
to relive each moment
each torture succumbed
his victim
still captured in his chains.

2002/DMA/Snapper

Distance Danced
--------------------


Moon and stars, wind and snow,
nature beats a perfect rythm,
as she dances.

Hair and skirts swirl and twirl.
Arms reach, beseeching.
Her gypsy heart sings.

In her mind, miles beyond her trees ,
neon lights and sirens cut the night.
Her soul takes flight.

Sensual, enticing, feather soft touch
caresses gently on his mind.
He smiles.

Lids close, blocking lights,
beneath the city beat
her rythm, he feels.

The taste of her lips,
the sway of her hips,
he knows.

His Gypsy Woman dances,
Love in her heart,
just for him.

2002DMA/Snapper




For my Sweet .... Woods to City... I dance for you. ~kisses and love~

Judge Not
--------------
Who are you to judge me?
Superior?
Because your line runs pure?
Sainted in your belief,
all others are wrong.
Would you like a truth?
It will be told anyway.

Nothing is your empire.
My roots grow deeper
than forest primeval.
The rivers are my blood.
The wind tangles in my hair,
brings me the living breath.

I am a child of many.
The blood in my veins,
rich as yours.
Nae, richer.
Mine is the finest of blends,
mingling of all,
hybrid of enduring.

I glide among the trees,
quiet as my wolven brothers.
Desert storms
raise heated passions.
Gypsy rythems tug my feet.
Celtic magick thrives within.

Yet there is so much more.
I am the sum of my heritage,
born in freedom
not to be taken lightly.
We have been beaten, abused,
starved and raped.
Still we survive.

Death?
Gifted to us freely.
We are still here.
You too are here.
There is a difference.
Is it not obvious?

We,
those of heritage mixed,
have become one with the land,
while you claim the right
of pure blood,
the right,
to stand above us all.

Who are you to judge?
Sitting high above?
Singular and proud?
Noone!

We are the Children of Earth!
Blood and flesh
have mingled with turned soil.
Heart and soul
run in harmony
with Sun and Moon.

Judge me not,
self sainted one.
Who will stand,
challenging you
at judgement?
It shall be me,
one beneath your notice.

The Children of the World,
as plentiful as the stars,
enduring through eternity,
will meet you on the battlegrounds.
Tomorrow it will be
we whom you condemn today.


2002DMA/Snapper

Forbidden Temptation
---------------------

last glimmer of day
hides beyond the horizon
drawing sanity in its wake

this is wrong
so unlike me
but I cannot resist

Shadows emerge
moving without aid
stepping into moonlight

urging, calling
my place awaits
I only need to follow

solitary shade beckons
whispered words tantalize
sweetening the night

forbidden hunger rages
clawing within
growling chest deep

remembering kisses
salt-sweet bloodied lips
teasing my own

Need flares star bright
head back I emerge
scenting passionate need

hand in hand
drifting among the others
we stalk the darkness

Temptation accepted
anticipating the forbidden
tasting blood not yet caught

humanity flees
cognizant thought is lost
beast rises, savouring

we hunt
my dark temptation
side by side

2002/DMA/Snapper

I Have No Right
-----------------
I have no right
to ask of you
that which I
cannot give.

I have no right
to give to you
a heart bound
to another.

I have no right
to need the hope
and the dream
of your love.

I have no right
to ask the Gods
to guide me
to your arms.


2002DMA/Snapper

News
-----------
Ringing, ringing,
I should choose not to answer.
Box says Oregon,
I know I don't want to know.
Hand cradles reciever,
heart thrums louder drowning the voice.
Did you hear me?
Are you alright?
Miss?
Silence.
Miss? Do you understand?
Choked breath, caught sob,
Yes. He will be free.
Paroled.
Call cut off,
phone crashes into wall.
Tears ravage brittle control,
memories flood conciousness.
Four victims,
Three aggressors.
Twenty-one years,
strength regained,
now on the edge.
Shaking,
touching the blade in my boot,
I smile, cold and heartless.
Rafael will never
have me again.


It is 9:44 pm, Dec 5, 2002. My Name is Denise. 21 yrs ago I stood in court condemning the man who, along with 2 of his friends, kidnapped and raped myself and 3 of my best friends.
What they did was not "normal" by the standards of other rape cases.
Because of their "fun" One girl was instutionalized, mentally handicapped. One committed suicide a year later. The third sees a psychiatrist on a regular basis. I am the only one they feel "adjusted".
I have been reliving their actions every night, nightmares wrack my sleep. Only if I am held by someone I trust, can I sleep at all. Most often, I sleep alone.

Is this a confession? In a way, yes. This is the reason. One hour ago, I recieved a call from the probation board in Oregon. Rafael is to be released on parole. Because he did not have sexual relations with either of the 2 girls, now deceased, it is acceptable to release him into society.

When they called me last month, asking my views, I told them, I remember what he did, I still hear the others scream. I will never forget what he did to me, what he promised. Did I want him in society..NO!

So now I tell you this. If this man comes here. If he comes to my town looking for me, he will not survive. I will guarantee Rafael Montego Santiago will never have me again.
I will guarantee Rafael...
he will hold his bleeding balls in his broken hands.


:evil

You write beautifully Snapper love the first one! the flow is right on, the second is lovely and heartfelt ... the last makes me ache as I can feel all of its emotions they are so fresh and strong...

~hugs~

S

Hello. You write wonderfully. I like your work a lot. I will take more time to have a read through of everything.

Ty Rosa Electra... I am finding your work quite intriguing also.

let me know if I need to stay out of you way?

There is a lot of crap in my thread. A few crisis' too, I admit. Thankyou for taking the time to read. That means a lot to me.

Stay out of my way? I'm not sure I understand?..

My Dark Protector
-------------------
Who are you?
From whence do you come?
Are a friend I've yet to know
or someone I've let go?
You stand on the edge of my vision,
I turn my head and there you are.

Silent and comforting,
My Dark Protector.
Ever watchful of those around me.
Always a quick grin in my direction.

I know you.
But WHO are you?
Are you someone sent to protect me?
Or are you the inner me,
standing guard over my heart?

4/01 DMA/Snapper

Re: My Dark Protector
---------------------------
Sword upon his back
Pistols on his hips
danger to the one
who brings a pout to my lips.

His weapons be not the fear
that any one should watch
tis the fire in his soul
that is the warning touch

Anger not the man
who watches over me,
but tell me if you can,
who this man could be?

*******************************


Why do you stay within my dreams
and not by my side?
Do you fear the light?
or is it that you fear
I would reject you?
Shadowman,
I would miss
the feel of you,
the grin I catch,
the knowledge
that you are ever near.
Do I depend on you?
I know not.
But I know,
I need never
fear the shadows
in which you dwell.

Dark Eyed Jealousy
-------------------
Warm Rivulets,
crimson on white,
tantalizing scent
assaults the senses.

Licking clean
sticky fingers,
dark eyes flashing,
shining triumphantly.

Jealousy dances
in a bloodstained gown,
swinging her
two-edged sword.