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Poetry Discuss Left me in my dreams dont do it in life in the The Pen forums; Left me in my dreams, dont do it in life. You left me crying Nailed to this FUCKING CROSS You left me dying Wondering where I WENT WRONG A five ...

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Left me in my dreams dont do it in life - 07-18-01

Left me in my dreams, dont do it in life.

You left me crying
Nailed to this FUCKING CROSS
You left me dying
Wondering where I WENT WRONG

A five pointed star
SHines up above my head
A three pointed spear
Pokes me whenIm dead.

You dropped the bomb, you sung the song, you broke my heart, you stole my soul, you..... left me here alone

of all the things you left behind
Of all the things to remember you by
The one i hold closest to em
Is the six inch scar you put on my knee

I know things change
they always do
Lives rearange
nut I never thought you
would do this to me
but now i know

You dropped the bomb, you sung the song, you broke my heart, you stole my soul, you..... left me here alone

I was only there for your amusement
Only used for fun
only ther to help your anger vent
This time you've won

Take the photos off the shelf
Put the memories away
folded up, into boxes
new life, new day

You dropped the bomb, you sung the song, you broke my heart, you stole my soul, you..... left me here alone

AWAKE!!!!!!



so what do you lot think of this???
  
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07-18-01

I enjoyed reading the words... I am not so sure I graspedd the subect though...

-jo
(Jo's Dark Poetry)


eek!

  
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Re: Left me in my dreams dont do it in life - 07-18-01

Quote:
Originally posted by Sparky_Grass
Left me in my dreams, dont do it in life.

so what do you lot think of this???
Very interesting. Almost good even. A little cliched in places, but there's definitely potential.

Is english a second language for you? or are you simply sloppy in your writing? It would be so much better if there weren't as many errors in it.


malefic

"...if you gaze for long into an abyss, the abyss gazes also into you."
- Friedrich Nietzsche, Beyond Good and Evil
  
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