For hours i lay in my bed,
gazing at the celing above me
the world seems so overwhelming
life seems like nothing it should be

i haven't ate in days
i haven't slept in longer
yet i don't feel hunger
nor the call of sleep
only numb

i asked myself could i compose all my sorrow into a poem
but can a poem compose all my sorrow?
if this is what life is like, i dont want it.
i give it back

the energy to move escapes me
slipping from my failing reach
i watch it drift beyond
and i no longer care

if the eyes are windows to the soul
what could one see in mine?
when i am blind

not even roses last forever
but it doesn't mean i didn't wish
for them to fade in a different way
oh, how i want to change the falling of the pedels.

once i held so strongly to my beliefs,
my trust's in the word fools call love
yet i cant tell you i believe.
to have faith is to loose it

if my lips could part just once
and let you know how i hurt today
than maybe the angels will come,
to carry me away
------------------------------------------

im sure this poem makes no sense. but it is the only thing i have done in so long. and i just dont have the energy to make a 'work of art'...i only want someone to know...maybe i just want someone to hurt as much as i do. i dont know. i just know that i want this out there...somewhere....just not locked within myself.

It was jumpy but it displayed your feelings well. keep writting forus to see, and I know the pain of true heart break your not alone...*hugs*

*heart stops for a moment as a tear descends* very good, please post more soon....and i understand what you mean..

i am your puppet, you lead me around on silver tounged strings.
let me dangle when you dont wanna play anymore,
and confess to me all of the dirty things.

you toss me around without ever caring,
causing me to become twisted in my own self.
yet i face your lies and cold eyes glaring.

i love you with all that is left inside,
but i cant get tangled in the strings.
so instead ill just run away to hide.

i found malice in wonderland,
she was a puppet just like me.
and her legs were tied on your command.

i will always love you,
but i cant let mysef care.
so these words are saying...

the puppet is now through.

anyhow...thank you both.

its been a VERY long time since i wrote anything (last thread was The Thorns of Irony).

Anyhow, i apologize for them being jumpy...but right now my emotions are the same. So i guess its all coming out that way. Anyhow....i hope i start writing better soon...and thanks again.

btw: sorry to hear that you both understand.

jc U little moonlightin bastard, hehehe nice words as always, its good to see U well, even if U ignore me

Wow keep writing its really good and expresses very well the way you are feeling.
I lot of people have felt the way you do, i know i have recently after my fiance broke up with me. I won't promise that its gets better but i will promise that it will get easier. Keep your head up.

"I shot an arrow into the air,

and where it hit I DID NOT CARE!

I wanted the world to feel...

Wanted someone else to feel...

To feel what I felt.
To cry like I cried.
To hurt how I hurt;
To die, like I died..."

An exerpt from "Urban Archery."

You have no idea how glad I am to see this thread--I knew you weren't dry! I'm just sorry that this is what you had to write...

I wish I could comment, but sadly, all I can think to say is "wow."

You have a way with words my friend... A way I can only hope to mimic and not get sued over. j/k.

(PS: Neither one seemed jumpy to me)
((PPS: "Malice in wonderland"--Love it!))

a heart
is what was torn
a part
is how its worn
to be
what ive become
to see
how all is numb
------------------------------
anyhow, I wrote this once but the new changes on the damned site came up with something that i was previously unaware of.

So....

Mighty, you know I love you, and wouldn't ignore you.

Kitty, thank you so much for stopping by and reading this little thread.

Jarrek, as always...we both know who is better...so stop trying to cheer me up.

BTW: I love that line..."Malice in wonderland"...just seems so...magical?

ALSO: the unexpected changes caused me to loose the first writing of this which was much longer. But i guess fate works in mysterious and often times depressing ways. So this was all i could remember (and i had to alter that!)

FYI: This thread was created to help me deal with the loss of my love. For over two years we had been through hell, standing firmly beside one another...yet she felt i was becoming detached and no longer as sweet as i once was...and thus led to a kiss....unfortunatly the kiss was not with me. She does want to get back together...yet i hurt so much...and am so confused that i dont know what to do. (The girl i spoke of loving all throughout Thorns of Irony is this very same one. Incase any of you remember some of the ones i wrote about love {the good side} there.)

It was once said that boys can't cry. If so, then why? What are the rivers i drown in? how do we learn to defend? I stepped off the deep end, and let melancholly swallow me whole.

swirling downward, the spiral overtaking me. The words gashed inward, cutting so deeply. i heard false tunes disguised as music. the churning of the melody only served to make me sick. And the needles in my skin doth now prick....leaving holes to fix the pain.

Wheeewww... ::bows::

Marvelous.

Wheeew. This is a good one...

Short, to the point, memorable.

Quote:

Jarrek, as always...we both know who is better...so stop trying to cheer me up. BTW: I love that line..."Malice in wonderland"...just seems so...magical?

Yes, we know who's better... But, you can at least let me keep my delusions of granduer sometimes...

And, yeah--wonder(hah hah)ful line.

Quote:

ALSO: the unexpected changes caused me to loose the first writing of this which was much longer. But i guess fate works in mysterious and often times depressing ways. So this was all i could remember (and i had to alter that!)

Like I said, I think it works short... But, if you ever remember the long one, I'd love to read it.

Quote:

FYI: This thread was created to help me deal with the loss of my love. For over two years we had been through hell, standing firmly beside one another...yet she felt i was becoming detached and no longer as sweet as i once was...and thus led to a kiss....unfortunatly the kiss was not with me. She does want to get back together...yet i hurt so much...and am so confused that i dont know what to do. (The girl i spoke of loving all throughout Thorns of Irony is this very same one. Incase any of you remember some of the ones i wrote about love {the good side} there.)

Yeah, that's what I figured... Sorry, bro.

WishI could offer more support.

I`d Like to say .. that your poems are really Good.. The first One Was My Favorite.....And I Completly Understand Your Pain.. As I`m Sure we All Do .....But Still .. I think you should really keep up your writing....
Good Luck..
Unwanted

"if i never go back to sleep, then i wont ever have to wake up.
if i never close my eyes, then i wont ever have to open them.
if the sun never shines, then ill never see the night come.
and if i never love again, then maybe ill be happy....being sad."

Thank you Jarekk, as always friend.

And also id like to say thank you to Unwanted. It is nice to see people i dont know respond to my threads. Anyhow, you are always welcomed around here, man.

i am your puppet, you lead me around on silver tounged strings.
let me dangle when you dont wanna play anymore,
and confess to me all of the dirty things.

you toss me around without ever caring,
causing me to become twisted in my own self.
yet i face your lies and cold eyes glaring.

i love you with all that is left inside,
but i cant get tangled in the strings.
so instead ill just run away to hide.

i found malice in wonderland,
she was a puppet just like me.
and her legs were tied on your command.

i will always love you,
but i cant let mysef care.
so these words are saying...

the puppet isn't there.

---------------------------

hereya go. I revised the last line there. Made it flow much more i think. Oddly enough Rhyming seems to help! lol

....love it bro just great :metalhead


and;


"i am your puppet, you lead me around on silver tounged strings.
let me dangle when you dont wanna play anymore,
and confess to me all of the dirty things.

you toss me around without ever caring,
causing me to become twisted in my own self.
yet i face your lies and cold eyes glaring.

i love you with all that is left inside,
but i cant get tangled in the strings.
so instead ill just run away to hide.

i found malice in wonderland,
she was a puppet just like me.
and her legs were tied on your command.

i will always love you,
but i cant let mysef care.
so these words are saying...

the puppet isn't there. "jc



sweet, nicely deriven to conclusion, I love it again




~hugs~
Me

Thanks alot man...as always its really good to hear from you.

Same here bro, its just great to hear U again and read again of U

I enjoy your writing JC. please dont stop.

Crazy post girl,
Dust