My name is Jana`i Le`e Ramsey
I’ve just finished counting my money today.
I have about 983 029 194 113 dollars.

You’re actually supposed to put spaces
Between the numbers.
Not commas.
I learned that in math.

Money CAN’T buy you everything.
Not even near to everything.
It can’t buy you a horse made out of solid gold.
It can’t buy you dinosaurs.
It can’t even buy you dinosaurs made out of solid gold.

I own a collection of robots
67 in all.
Each devoted to a task I really don’t care to carry out on my own.
As I write this poem,
A robot made out of solid gold
is trimming my handlebar moustache.
I wonder what he’s thinking,
Number 28.
He certainly is busy.
I make him trim moustaches all day,
just to keep him sharp.
He does trimming for my butlers,
and for my entourage.
They all have handlebar moustaches as well.
Because I make them.
All day,
Trim, trim, trim.

Sometimes,
when I’m at fancy dinner parties on yachts,
I like to 'accidentally' push people overboard.
Usually at really important moments.
Like when they’re talking to someone.
And nobody really says anything to me,
because I’m so rich.
And they just laugh,
even if the guy is getting eaten by a shark.
Or even a shark made out of solid gold.
Whoops!