so, this is a bit of my poetry, i hope that yu enjoy, please share with me your thoughts...and offer up any information that could be deemed useful......this is a bit of my earlier work, so please bear with me, i promise you it will mature.

Amongst the Ruins of Hope--

dreams are shrivled by the sun/ and dried in a pit of apathy/ then force-fed to us/ until we realize our failure/

failure only regurgitates failure/ left to circle te same path/ until our trivial existance/ is all but obvious/

trying to act betwen false power/ and real pride/ until your groping amongst the ruins of hope/ pulling out foolish/ and far-fetched thoughts/

Archaic Arch

somewhere down the road/ fifteen mile or so/ sits an old/ archaic arch/ that has been disgruntled by erosion/ and time/

under the cracks/ lies beauty/ beneath teh grafitti/ lies sculptured art/ dug below the ground/ the braces/ have voices unheard/

everyday at noon/ th sun catches the corner stone/ and gleams of the design/ that lay etched in the surface/

there are times this arch has seen/ that we could only imagine/ there are workers who built/ that have long passed/ there are meaning in the bricks/

on the verge of collapsing/ wish i could hear/ the last yelp/ or cry/ of that old/ majestic/ archaic/ arch/

Bed of Roses

i sit quiet/ looking n in torment/ knowing not yet/ why it is. that i can not receive/ the brilliance of your eyes/ to catch tthe proper sight/ when or faces/ align/ in the perfect/ angle/

why must i adore/ from so far away/ why can i not muster/ the strength/ to sway/ my body over/ to the corner/ og my mind/ then just sit tere/ conversing with the demons/ that just sit throbbing/

i wait for that look/ that one i hear them/ all talking abot/ so long now/ and it has yet to occur/ so clost not/ but not close enough/

nervous break down/ from waiting around/ on this loft air/ oh the hinderance/ that has been caused/ not/ from a lack of trying/

lay me down in a bed of roses/ because that wor/ that strength/ that thought/ that moment/ never came/ so lay me down/ in a bed o roses/

Brain Stew

im ok, i guess/ i was in heavy thought/ tightly condensed/ until my thoughts were/ diluted by reality/

dragonfly on heavy hum/ understand/ i must hold my tongue/ from all the/ fantastic thoughts i think/ that are somehow lost/ when the message reaches/ my head/

condensed soup is y brain/ full of activity not convoluted/ nor fecicious/ but perfect in their nature/ until said thoughts hit the awning of genius/ that was never opened/

the tele-marketer never sold me sense/ nor did he sell me respect/ but he taught me how to/ hold my tongue/

i try to follow the line of brain stew/ to see where my thoughts go/ where the run akew/ how they get lost/ at the boiling point/

Lava Beds

the wave carry me/ off to a distant shore/ one so unfamiliar/ consoling/ earthquakes rock me to sleep/ lay my body to rest/ on lava beds/ to keep me warm/ glistening stars/ act a a moble/ that crle/ and allow me to sleep/ content

Reality Beams

reality beams into my world/ through litle strands of light/ that bind me to te secular/

the light of realty wisps/ around in the breeze/ with such a swet aroma/ as it pleasently fills my lungs/ and being/

then come the sorrow/ and despair/ that comes with/ the realization of life/

the problems that mount/ on an event/ that moves so slow/ and causes the most pain/

the wisp of reality/ now seems so foul/ reality delsa with/ the realization/ of all your false/ covers/

the light through the blnd/ the incense by the vase/ the thoughts in your mind/ denial/

reality beams into my little world/ while i hide away/ from it/ becasue i do no wish to face/ the truth/

so i hide in a hole/ down away from teh light/ of reality/ so do not have to/ puncture its surface/

Relapse

i look out upon the star lit sky/ looking for somone to blame/take my daily syringe/ then feel reality dissapate/ into a memory/

its such a beautiful world/ when you cant remember any of your troubles/ its such a great night/ when your on your cover/ you look so wonderful/ behind your mask/

reality rabds your shoulder like a claw/ throws you back to tha/ dismal shade of melancholy/ where all your troubles come back/

sweat drips down your face/ and you can feel your legs/ heart speed quickens/ convulsing on the floor/ shoking on your vomit/

back to your cover/ as you raise your mask/ to your arm/ and inject your freedom/ into your veins/ can you feel it/ its a relapse/

relapse/

Taciturn Knowledge Of The Clairvoyancy

preminitions/ you see before you speak/ knowing only by your will/ executing all your thoughts/ on the whim on fraility/

your clairvoyant majesty/ dethroned by a carbon copy/ a silicate mother/

your actions are based on/ solitary thoughts/ non-provoked/ but ill adapted/

deception/ through your own contemplation/ do you see the way/ deceive all who do not/ receive the gift/

encounters that you predict/ push away the efforts/ of intruders/ the unwanted/ sportsman who come/ to try the game/

you love in vain/ so niave/ so shallow/a narcissist with their head cut off/ chasing after the mle/ is a long road/

taciturn/ till youve found your purpose/ speak only the utter/ that is worth hearing/

remincent/ to the dreams of morrow/ the clairvyancy/

omnicent/ you know all/ but remain taciturn/ untill you are willing/ to share your knowledge/ from within/

The After Effect

brain waves dont work properly/ sending out mixed signals/ that dont se to communicate/ only eradicate/ the foundation/ of your belief system/

what i see/ is below the level/ of cognition/ that seems to have/ any thing to do with the/ relevance of the subject/

inner emotions/ torn in directions/ that separate at inconceivable spots/ that stretch to the maximum proportion/ of its inner sides/

theatrics that circle the realm/ near the non-exstant/ border/ that lives in the subliminal mind/

sense of touch/ that can not feel/ the membrane that broke off/ in malignant fun/ to desecrate/ the trivial feeling of existance/

brain waves dont work properly/ sending out mixed signals/ that dont se to communicate/ only eradicate/ the foundation/ of your belief system/

the after efect/ of finding the loss/ that was so miniscule/

The Hinges of the Door

the last sign of hope/ is all but consilitry/ the only light/ stands in the door frame/ time stand still/ so you can decidethe door slowly closes/ as the shadows absorb the light/

the thin cover of cellophane/ that hides your inner emotons/ fr all to see/ but to stay locked away/

that capacity that stands between/ hope and conquest/ is a thin line/ between defeat and pride/

the light in the doors flickers/ as the hinges swing shut/ the last sign/ is all but consilitry/

Trying to Find a Shard

standing over the burnt remains/ of my smoking hope/ sifting through the ashes/ trying to find a shard/ large enough to hold onto/

the moment it caught fire/ was the moment i knew it left/ signals had ben alerted/ but no alarm/ was in effect/

stading over the burnt remains/ sulking to my satisfaction/coming to teh realization/ that theres nothing to hoold onto/

time to start over again/ and build another dream/ from he burnt ashes/ a new hope/ that hang in the balance/ can be re-born/

standing over the burnt remains/ of my smoking hope/ sifting through the ashes/ trying to find a shard/ large enough to hold onto/

Umbilical Cord

depression breeds great children/ and happiness a vulnerable state/

the mind is delicate/ so it holds the hand of/ the soul/ the conscience/ sits/ awake/ like an omnicent eye/

peer down/ at me/ lead me to/ salvation/ take my hand/ be my umbilical cord/

feed me life/ feed me joy/ stay close to me/ guide me thru those/ hard times/

when the path ahead of us/ is but a pit fork/ for mind and heart/ are torn at points/ that ever watching eye/ can stare dwn/ direct your heart/ and allow it to rest/

Duplicitious Dichotomy

better to take the fall/ and break your back// than to stand around/ and watch/

to watch your feet/ swept from under you/ and see the world flipped upside down/ to lay under water/ and see the distorted world/ through the clear water/ and see/ maybe life/ and a blur/

to cross yous eyes/ and see two of everything/ one real/ one not/ which one should i chase? one that will dissolve when i go to grab it/ and just dissipate/ through the fingers on my hand/ and fall through/ like sand thru a seive/

duplicitious nature/ is human/ and expected/ yet frowned upon/ like a contradictory dichotomy/ a realization of what/ is accepted and expected/ yet refused to be seen as the norm/

please forgive me for the multiple thread posting......that was due to my computer, and me not realizing it processed the request after if froze...so i kept hitting the button, if the mod or such would please be kind enough to remove the excess threads, i would be quite thankful.......and again i apologize

I see what you mean how the poems kind of matured at they went on. Some of those titled sounded so intelligent =P
and one thing that I felt like saying before I actually start telling you what I thought, I also have a poem called Relapse. But, go figure, they are completely different.
You know I've always liked your poetry (although I'm not sure if I have ever told you this? Hmm.) It reminds me a lot of how I wrote a while ago. Odd, eh? Perhaps I liked it so much I copied your style.
But, yeah, I liked how you poems can mean different things to different people. Very nice. How long, would you say, was the time span between the first poem and the last? Are they even written in chronological order?
.....am I even making sense? 0_o

all but the last two are from teh same notebook.......they were written in mid 2005, the last two are from around october.....

Ah, grooviness. I haven't written in a long time. It's kind of depressing.
I think the last time I wrote was when my friend started cutting herself, and that was many months ago.

Hmm . . . I haven't really had the chance to sit down and read through all your pieces (it's the Holidays and both my computers got fuckered) . . . but what I have glanced at seems pretty good. You avoid rhyme scheme, so I'm happy. But why is written in essay format rather than poetic format? Is that your applied structure?

Anywho, I haven't had a real chance to absorb everything, but I like what I see thus far. Some nice lines (my favorite of which was "earthquakes rock me to sleep") . . . but, when I have time to actually sit down and read, I'll give an honest critique. Until then, be patient, live freely in youngstown (AHHHHH!!!!!!!!) and have a merry seasonal bliss.

it is written in essay format, because at one point i was writing really long poems, and i dont like it when poems go over to the nexy page, so i found it easier to keep them on written page that way....lol......thank you, and you also have a wonderful holiday.