My Heart
My heart is heavy with pain and grief,
My eyes are swollen and tired.
Lord, please give me some kind of relief,
Your love is what I’ve desired.
Untitled
Consuming my thoughts, my mind, my being
It’s so hard to concentrate on what I am seeing
Falling down, tripping, running, fleeing
Consuming my thoughts, my mind, my being
I know you’re there, somewhere beside me
Where you are exactly, I cannot see
Confused and aggravated, crying out with a plea
I know you’re there, somewhere beside me
Lost in a sea of bitterness, I’m drowning
A glimmer of hope weakens the frowning
Praying your presence will soon be surrounding
Lost in a sea of bitterness, I’m drowning
Haunting images invade my mind
Trying to escape, running into a bind
The path of life not clearly outlined
Haunting images invade my mind
Hours of Darkness
The nighttime is my home. My sanctuary into solitude. She is the only time when one can wander through time and be part of this world, but not feel that they are of it.
The nighttime is my enemy. She suffocates me and makes me weep. The darkness can be a lonely place.
She lures you with her silence. Her dark beauty intoxicates you. Fascinates you. You can’t help but find yourself among the night, time and time again – while loathing every minute that passes.
The night gives you comfort. Around her, you are allowed to be yourself. Your joys and fears, your pain and anger. It can all be shown to her without consequence. She won’t judge you. She won’t despise you.
She will only blanket you with her comfort and charm until you are dead to the world.
Sin
Damn this flesh that makes me weak
I love what I hate and it hates me
This darkness blankets me, suffocating
I see hope – always just out of reach
The sweet aroma entrances me
Over takes my senses
Losing control I fall deeper into the void
It beckoning me to follow
My heart beating furiously
Breathing desperately
Scared of what I’m getting into
Loving every moment
My Insanity
I let it happen. It started as an absurd idea of
boredom. Turned into action.
The reaction I got from him was unexpected. As
if he didn’t care.
I tried asking for help. None came. I didn’t try
hard enough. So my absurdity turned into action
once again.
Now I lay here on the fine line of reality and
insanity. Maybe if it were deeper he’d listen.
A voice whispers, “Do it!”
I shake my head and pray to God. Pray for help.
My breathing is deep. My heart fast. My lungs hurt
from the pressure building.
Once again my absurdity… my insanity wins over.
The pressure in my chest immediately dissipates.
It’s day again. I slept the nightmare off. He saw
what I did and gave the same reaction.
“WHY WON’T YOU LISTEN TO ME?!”
The words never escape my mouth. It’s not his
fault. It’s not my sickness. My absurdity. My blood.
The voice screams, “Do it!”
Cut the Skin to the Bone, Fall Asleep All Alone -
06-19-07
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