Tender feet worn very thin,
The skin is broken, blistered,
Feeling like I've died,
But I'm somehow still conscious,
Conscious and bleeding,
Aware of the world around me,
But I feel dead,
But I use the qualifier practically,
I'm still breathing,
I am practically dead here,
I am bleeding,
But somehow practically dead still.
I'm underwater,
Constitutionless,
I am diseased,
Conscious tear dispenser.

Someone kill me.

Et cetera

I'm reminded of a clever verse,
When I am staring at this picture,

I'm obsessed like mars is fixed on action.
I'm so fucking obsessed.

I don't care if it's a conscious mistake,
I don't think you'd be too surprised, to know I'm obsessed.

Thoughts drip from the memory,
Messaging me from outer space,

Hello Mark, you've been busy lately havn't you?
I've been watching you, waiting for you to make a move,
Why do you sit there staring into space?
Can see me out here? Am I alive? Et cetera, et cetera.

I'm in a cold room, ice covers everything,
Ice covers the vents, the Tv, et cetera,
I can see my breath, and the radio is frozen on the same song,
It just plays the same song over and over.

I think I'm totally obsessed with this mental image of you,
The curves around your mouth, your hair, et cetera

She reflects this image of me staring into her,
I see hands come from the floor to drag me down with them,

Here in hell it's cold and there are hands everywhere,
Grasping out for the things that kept them feeling alive,
Grasping out for the people that made them feel alright,
Grasping out for comfort, relief from pain, et cetera

My answering machine picks up again.
Hey Mark we missed you on Mars today.
Won't you come play with us?
I see you there, lost in your complacence.
Come dream with us,
Show us you can still imagine.

I'm reminded of the way her fingertips feel on my scalp,
By a passing image torn and blanketing me in distortion,
I revert to my obsession.
I close my eyes, imagine her face.

Blue is lifting my soul. Her red is ascending.
I don't regret the way I felt.
I still feel that way,
Her black is withering and reconstructing in infinite sensorium.

Sensorium in my mind.
I'm reminded of words she said to me.
If I could relive every moment I would.
I can.

My heart begins to beat right out of my chest,
I sink back into the passenger seat of your car.
Disillusioned by the fantasy that I still exist in your life.
I keep looking at you and you keep smiling back at me,

I don't care if I died today,
As long as you still exist in my heart,
As long as I could still feel your hair,
Feel your skin, hear your voice, et cetera

She walks beside me through this frozen hell
Years and years we've been together,
Even though we've been apart,
Patience she retells me of every day.

Goddess: Mark, why don't you call me back?
I've been here alone, I still feel alone,
I don't even know if you can hear me now...

I can hear you.

Clairvoyant vampirism

I'm no fool, i've seen my share of suffering
My kind heart calms me but my expanded mind stimulates me so,
Intelligence can be a bad thing to have,
I backstab my best friend, I hope it doesn't hurt too much
Conscious stabbing motion, stabbing thrusts,
I stab so violently, but that's not what this play is all about
It's the feeling of stimulation that makes me feel relief
I float so far from this body and I make a channel into yours
Manipulate the strings so I can create this feeling inside of you
Make you dream such vivid dreams, sensations of my new endeavor.

Spinning, extending my arms into the broken sky
Existing, lifting my hands into the storm clouds
Lightning, exciting and unusual around these parts
Nauseous, but conscious in feverish endlessness
Goodbye drugs, goodbye disease,
Goodbye highways, goodbye America,
Goodbye deception, goodbye to malice,
Goodbye Los Angeles, goodbye America.
Anger, a dangerous emotion that I can't control,
My sadness, a lattice emptiness construction, weighing on my spirit
I'm a monkey, now that the junkie becomes me
And death, the arrest of my body that tempts me so.
Goodbye tragedy, goodbye war,
Goodbye insanity, goodbye America,
Goodbye hookers, goodbye to junkies,
Goodbye to gangsters, goodbye to America

Closer to home

One white light shines out through the night
Bloody thoughts drip through a world of shit
My dreams, eyes in a world of lies
One chord struck on a digital harpischord
So say goodbye to the calm of the night
I can't remember, when last I felt pleasure
City of scars falls, broken-down walls
Closer to home then the upcoming weather

Advertencia! Los ninos pequenos pueden estrangularse.

Breathe in, for all of my friends
And it depends on the strength of the seminole wind
Whether or not I'm distraught
Smoke a whole bag of pot
I'll walk one inch from the highway
The reasons I do things my way
Suffering sideways.
So get your fill and then,
Strangle your children,
Little epiphany leads to
A world of pills and,
You know when you're high
When all there's left to do is cry,
I just can't let go
I stare up at the machine.
Choking, on delicate wings,
Intricate things,
Like the impossible flings,
That i'm in a constant pursuit of,
While my wings are all glued up,
And my heart is put on a ledged
And the length to the ground is endless,
So happy as I look at the sky,
Dark, brown, and wicked eyes die.
I can see in the life of a stream
I can feel a force with no remorse
Summon a power at the unholiest hour
I'll see you in your dreams.

Beautiful Sacrifice

Travelling outwards an energy flows
So unrelentless the energy grows
Beautiful gardens of pain will release
A beautiful boy in a womb underneath
So underneath that no one exists
A fiery lake of mucus and cyst
And a chattering song bird sits in a tree
Singing himself into sleep in defeat.
Up in the skies we see the ominous signs,
The crucifixes and the six-six-sixes
Sacrifices we devise,
And energy in our demise
I look too hard
I see the gods
Gaze from afar
She winks and she nods.

Like a dream

Spirits here, that no one sees
You and me, we're energy
Faithless, faithful centipedes
Crippled friendly enemies
Minutes spent with destiny
Hours spent within a dream
The lunatic inside of me
He's on the grass, he's high you see
A pathway juxtaposed to jaundiced homage
A pathway through the words of nostradamus
Our journey was that of the sun
And the sun was eclipsed by the moon
But your cancer sign was your fancy guide
Through emotions I don't understand,
Cold and unlike my own hands
And i'm thankful for it anyways
You showed me things i've never seen
True love and what it could mean
Harvesting whatever we can see
You love me is all I need to breathe.
Just breathe. Live.

See you in my dreams, or in my five-dollar genes.
That's the way it seems, with a pair of feet,
Covered in concrete, jump into the river,
Think you can deliver, it's not too late,
Hold on, let me contemplate how to get out of this water. And eat this fucking pizza...at the bottom of a river.
-JB

Guilt

I can see that what i'm doing just ain't right,
But it's a different me thats looking at me.
The real me is doing the things that got me here in the first place,
And I wonder why they distrust me, why they hate me.
Shame destroys me,
Takes my heart,
Hurts worse than when they find out,
Is this hell worth a couple of pills?
I can't save myself, and I won't go to church,
I need disaster, beautiful disaster.
Save me by making me suffer,
Save me for a minute, but I'll be right back at it.
I am slave, a slave to myself.
I live in a prison made of skin.
What would it take to get out of this place?
Wish I cared about something, anything.
Wish the things I held onto would stop melting away.
Wish the bottom would get here soon, so I could start my ascend again,
Maybe next time I won't fall so fast,
Fast into the darkness.

Americon

I hate everything, these twisted fingers, these broken hands
I don't belong, I don't relate to you, I can't be that guy
I hate this world, this damaged, worthless, worriless world
All of the time I've seen here lonely, holding my breath
It's always too late, it's never enough to matter
I hate every inch of me, dig in deeper till I cry
This house is my toilet, and I am human shit
Do me a favor young one, come flush me away
Millions of miles away from where I want to be
Half a reason away from flushing the toilet myself
If it weren't for emotion I'd be bored out of my mind
Sticky, sickly, and satanic fingers scrape my forehead
Everyone is an enemy when you hate your friends
My friends have left me here, knowing i'm a danger to myself
And a danger to everyone else.