Solid Instinct

Fluctuate dear mind this life told
Eyes colored blue in sky so bold
Rhythms fleece thoughts fold
Condense seperate distinct molds

I am diverse
Solid instinct and reason
Mere moments play
Fiddling wild dirges
Chaos protrudes a broken limb
Grasping structures pantomime
A livid death throe

Dreaming a die cast realm
Forbidding and preternatural
This prodigious intellect
We all share
Yet some unaware

Idiots in bliss
Ignorance
Blinding
Beautiful eyes

Breath sighs
Invincible solidarity despaired

When I read it, it had a choppy flow. Each line seems to come to a halt to me, save for for the :

"We all share
Yet some unaware"

...I think it's due to the vocabulary you've used here. Some like this style better, some don't. Personally, I don't like this style, but the imagery is interesting, especially when my eyes would constantly flick back to the title...

eh.. not bad. Post more so we get a better idea of your style.

Oh yeah, and I didn't mind the rhyme scheme in the first stanza so much either. Ya lucked out.

Dyshade Poetry

I have lots there but I have decided to start a new thread..... slowly i will be chopping the other one to bits as i transform it into an E-Book using an acrobat document creator.... as such I will be sooner or later deleting that thread..... this new one will hold my new pieces--- I either create these as i am posting or sometimes post fragments and add to them here forcing myself to finish them.....

I sometimes like to create a piece which will captivate a reader right off the bat by using a lopsided rhyme scheme.... which turns into a strange line by line morass of broken thoughts which culminate in a coherant end thought bringing th ewhole together... usually... sometimes it is just a faint feeling or emotion I am attempting to visualize.... maybe a memory or a fragment of memory.....

thanks though I appreciate any and all input.....

Yea, concerning the rhyme scheme at the start, then the dropping of it, I realized that.. that's why it worked for me.. sometimes I do that in lyrical writing myself.. although, you get away with rhyming a lot more in lyrics...granted...

As for an Acrobat E-book...?... you use Adobe to compile it? Why not use a word processor? The only reason I can think of using Adobe for compiling an "e-book" is for perhaps a special copyright purpose that the program might have..? Explain yourself! lol..

Page Schematics and photos.... easier to do the layout with the programming available plus alot of publishers want a submission in Adobe Acrobat formatting so they just have to plug it in after editing and print it up.... I will be Self-Authoring and Editing.... though I will be paying for the printing and binding....

The fire of the heavens
The chilling ice of seven hells
Contort unseeing conscious
Rendering open wounds wet
Forgiven hands shaking
Upon innocent earth walking
Shedding pools of hatred
Shedding tears of red rage

Blood ripples
Sweet sweating skin
Infused furious spirit
Passions destiny

By the cold hands of god
My dreams strangled
By the rage of flames
My pure soul damned

Cold silver mist shrouds
Yellowed petaled meadow
Glorious valley sun gifted
Where in lay darkened shadow
Strangers calm whispers
Entice and hypnotize
Little breathes sighed
Transfixed glazed eyes
Arms fragile razor thin
Seek to penetrate in sin
Soul deep fueled blue
Bones sharp pierce skin

Reflections spin
Myriad shards
Within

As toward midnight
Moons pull thought
I and you
One seemly
And other
Unsought

Slivers into
Darkened pool
Of misery sleeping

You still write as magnificently as ever Dy ..However, I must say, I had no slightest idea, what it was you were saying in the first piece. Regardless, I assume, my intellegence, nor vocabulary hasn't reached the level yours has, so in envy, I will grab my dictionary, annd relentlessly learn until I can comprehend it, as much as this silly marshmellooo could.

Write more for me

ANNND by the way, 'Silvers' was my favoraite

Just cause I'm curious, what do you plan on doing with it? I'm really super interested in knowing. Especially if you plan on selling it... well, I mean in an internet way... I guess that would still be considered selling... But yeah, so tell me.

I am interested in not only self-publishing but also offering it up for sale as an e-book download for a pittance.... probably like 3-4$$...

That thread will probably be goners in like a week or two... suxx... but who'll pay for something they can readily see PLUS I am gonna try to get some artwork done for it from Xulie-boy cuz he not only raps like a homie-demon but lays down the pencilwork like a demon from hell.... boy he would hate being called a demon

Thank you.. means alot

And there is much more to come... always

Keep us updated on how that goes will ya.

I softly rain down upon you
Words velvet laced passion
Fingers dextrous and nimble
Slick lustrous tracings rouse
I am emotions cursed fool
Laying upon altars cold
Unyielding rage frozen
Love a bliss forgotten

As I am a memory
Within sorrows breast
Concealed senses
Losing cohesion

Simple thought
Lost

Tempestuous tunnels deep
Ragged body this only keep
Upon cold edifice layed steep
Simple thoughts bring sleep

And I am drifting
Slowly

Condensing moments interplay
Scenes of the final day
Nowhere did prophets say
Shadows damned here to stay

Folding fingers
Torn and blistered

Sold souls beg for more
It's your smile I adore
Never for a moment more
Will the cold infest the core

Spirits decayed
And UnMade
Death for the time stayed

I am wrapped and congealed
Within a thick mist of sordid deception
Contested will savages reason
Release only a metal sliver away
And yet concieved notions delay

I am nothing nor known
I am my ancestors seed sown
Looking within spirits addled
I see blood and splintered bone
By violence and vicious deeds

Are we destined to forever bleed

Conceal me
I would never see
And simply Want to be

And I can't see
Past the pain of you
And noone else
Will quite do
I am running
But my feet are still
And I can't get
Past the pain of you

See me standing
And I'm falling now
Got your heart
Up upon my brow
The shadows will
Creep and crawl away
But the pain of you
Is fucking here to stay

And noone else
Will quite do
And noone else
Will quite do
Because I can't see
Past the pain of you

My heart is dead
And my mind is too
Another fucking day
And I run to you
Because noone else
Will fucking do

**Original Lyrics--Dyshade C2005**

Hold my hand
For I shiver and shake
Here I am
My blood yours to take
And my tears
They run for souls sake
Pliant flesh
All yours to make
Drifting through the years
Wading knee deep in fears
Five hundred fucking beers
I feel I'm looking in mirrors

And I fall
A million miles more
To be with you
I will kill myself
To be with you
I will still myself
And I'll fall
A million miles more

Much of your work seems quite mood oriented (not a bad thing, just what I noticed while reading)- The style/workings of the verse make them seem almost journal-esque; the language is easy to follow (for the most part)- and you have a very emotional style that works well. Much enjoyed.