you like? tell me where i need to improve or what aspects you liked

a slowly fading consciousness
eyes devoid of tears
an intoxicating twist fate
i've been waiting all these years
the sickly sweetness in her voice
oh macaber whispers of tainted dawns
oozing the morbid desires to feed
another corpse face up on the lawn
a meal for kings, for that king be death
gone with remorseless finality
may each step we take
the darkness we create
weave a tapestry of deciet
expose the demons for what they are
coals benieth our feet

Superb! Bravo! Applauds!