i have a friend that i met among common friends, amongst the album covers i did for various artists and such. long story, not relevant.
i'm going to make up names for security's sake.
Kelly is in her late 30's, that's the friend i met. we talked a lot about life, where we've come from, where we've been. i like talking to older ladies because there's just something intriguing about women that know these things that only life can teach them, as opposed to the younger girls of today.
after a month of knowing this woman, she came and sat beside me one day and said "i had a dream last night that you were my son-in-law".
one daughter of hers was somewhat nearby and she got upset. i looked at Kelly and said, "if that's your oldest, you have a long wait. you realize that?"
the daughter was 15.
i was 21.

this particular daughter's name is Nikki. Later the kid asked if she could talk to me about that. She apologized for what Kelly said and asked that i not get uncomfortable around her. i just laughed it off and took it as a mom that thought she found what'd make a woman happy. a compliment if nothing less.
after too long the kid took a liking as much as her mom did and felt she could confide things in me.
there are two more daughters, 11 and 13.

now some background:
Kelly remarried after divorcing their father, who had a drinking problem, among other things, though nothing in contrast to the next "father".
The second marriage, Vince, resulted in child molestation. Nikki was 13, if i remember correctly. After finally giving in and telling a friend, after months of hurting over this, Vince was arrested. Nikki has a restraining order on him.

so it's been a couple of years since all this happened. as of last spring, Kelly decided to go visit Vince since he is free again, save for parole. She started seeing him a lot. Vince called the house at one point in time and Nikki had to hear his voice.
after that day she was very distraught, and i could tell every time the kid came around. i finally asked what was up, and after filtering through a lot of unconvincing talk about a "best friend that isn't acting like a friend", she finally started crying and told me that Vince was slithering back into her life.
I was so upset, the next time i saw Kelly i just bluntly said "I haven't seen you around. Seein Vince or somethin?"
"no..." she answered, very emphatic. She diverted the conversation to something more comfortable, quickly, and i left expecting to find out from Nikki what this conversation would yield.
it yielded a summer without Vince, even though Kelly got upset with Nikki for telling, especially to ryan. like i was the last person she should have told.
just now, the kid was talking about her best friend again, but bothered.
i asked "is it Vince again?"
she said that it was, and that the man will be off parole in a month. Apparently for the past couple of days Kelly has been cheery because she can be part of Vince's life again, help him clean up. And both she and Vince are trying to convince Nikki to lift the restraining order, because after all, the other two daughters are going to get to see him now.
Kelly can legally make them do that now, since the "protective order" won't apply due to a finished parole.

I could go into exactly how this makes me feel. Take what this makes you feel and then apply the fact that you know and love this family, including Kelly. I know that no matter what, i'm going to see to it that Vince doesn't go near those children. I doubt i'll take it to Kelly again this time. i'm in the US. any advice about action that a guy of no relation can take?

Well, its a horrible situation you are in. I bet it feels something like paralysis when you see everything happening,and you cant do anything about it.well,there is always some action to take.Even if your not related.You,or if you can talk to another relative of the family, can call child protective services.Of course,before this you should have a long thorough conversation with the mother,and say: This is what I know is going on,and these are the consequences of letting this man back in your life.Why would you sacrifice your daughters like that?If theres no getting through to the mom,then tell her that you care about her children,and you wont allow any kind of interaction with vince.Because,for gods sake, I mean,he did molest her kids.If you cant reason, what any sane bystander would do, is go to child protective services or see if there is another department out there,along those lines.But most of all,stay in her daughters life,and help her out mentally,and emotionally.Think of it like time travelling.Think of the future, with the present,and stop what negative turn out they may have in growth.Because the teen years,especially early teen years are important growing years.Thats what I got,good luck,and you can always talk to me about it further over PM,or AIM, whenever you want.I actually have a bit of experience with an older boyfriend/husband figure molesting some girls I knew.Its a fucked up experience to have,but what are ya gonna do?

right. i've, in a tactful manner, approached her mom about the other methods of dating she's gone about and said what i thought, then edging how i felt about Vince, and what putting her kids around him would do. usually she was very understanding, but that was probably face value.
if it comes down to it, and those girls are in any way put around Vince, i will consult any and everyone i have to to make it stop.

...i mean if Kelly wants to reconcile with Vince, that is her decision. However, by no means should Vince EVER be allowed near the children. Just bothers me that she would even consider having Vince near them - it's like saying, "i love Vince more than my own children".

...this is tough.

..and i hate to say this, but i really think Kelly is the one who needs to be punished or get professional help.... she is neglecting her little babies. when i was abused as a child, i was always more upset and angry with my mom because though she didn't abuse me half as much, she never did anything and she could have about my violent father. saying that though, i have a much healthier relationship with my mom today than i do my dad and have been able to forgive them both without them asking for forgiveness.

above all though, you need to make it stop....and sadly i don't know what to tell you on how

well since i read this thread. i really don't know what to tell you on how to fix this kind of a situation.. but if you want to help her out call the cops or the child protective survice and let them handle the situation. don't confront it to the mother though. just pick up the phone and do it....
but people can not play god if there isn't a way to handle a bad situation such as this.

I read this and thought of something that was on the local news the other day...
He is now a registered sex offender/child molester. If this kelly starts bringing him around her place, feel free to get a snapshot of him and post a flyer stating what he was convicted of and his pic here and there and everywhere around the neighborhood.. Just don't get caught doing it... It will deter her from bringing him around, and will cause the neighbors to watch for him doing anything 'different'.. You would be suprised what your neighbors will do when someone like this shows up around their houses....

i've seen their neighborhood and it's pretty shoddy. drunk old men left and right.

in my life, i've been hurt too, in similar ways. in fact, that is why nikki felt at liberty to open up to me about the past and the present. because first she knew i'd understand.

what i intend to do is this. contact a local attorney that specializes in children and their rights, and not inform nikki i'm doing this (though i won't lie if she asks) and let the attorney know i'm seeking advice on a situation that has potential for illegal activities, thought it hasn't yet.
i'm sure this attorney would be more than glad to give me advice and inform me of nikki's rights as well. i can then relay them to nikki as "something i found while researching".
if the situation gets out of hand and something goes awry, i've been consulting the proper authorities for a good long time. i doubt that vince will end up near nikki, as it will remain illegal for him to do. she assured me it'd stay this way.
it's her younger sisters i worry for. the youngest one is actually quite fond of the idea of seeing him. she was very young and doesn't realize exactly what he did. at her age now, she will realize when he hurts her again. it's true, i can't talk to kelly about this. she's too two-faced.
i love her kids more than she does, i'm starting to believe. if they were young dudes, i'd offer to foster them in light of all this. thanks for the info guys. i'll consider getting his snapshot and leaving it with his info on the doorsteps around there, despite the neighborhood. what matters is driving it into kelly's head the severity of what she's toying with.

this really sucks for the girl. i think the guy when convicted should have been castrated. Also if the girl has a restraining order against him, or at least had she might want to get herself another one to protect herself. This way if the guy comes to the house again she has every right under the sun to call the cops and state that he is violating the order. Also Tigg's idea is also a good one, between both of these ideas she should be pretty protected. also Surreal, if she would be willing to leave her house and move in with you as a provider then give her the option as she might need it anyways as it seems dear old mommy really doesn't have the best interest for her kids in mind if she is still dealing with this guy at all.

for some reason don't get me wrong though. this is kind of remind me of the movie called "the butterfly effect." yet i don't know why. but anyway i'm glad you are doing something now before its too late.

i must've forgotten to mention. she does have a restraining order on him. mommy is visiting him at his place while the girls stay at home. (shoddy neighborhood mind you. i'm always leaving my phone and internet on for this reason).
i really do wish i could do that. she has a crush though. i'd find it pretty hard to deal with her confusion that'd result. although my apartment is always a place i offer for shelter, i couldn't ever offer it as a home.

to me it would be easy to deal with. though i am more cold hearted then you probably are. as you have pointed in the past though you don't believe me. However, if it were for the girls own good to remove her from a potential issue that may cause her harm, offer your place up as a place for her to go if she ever feels afraid or needs a place she can go that she can be and feel safe. As a friend to her, this is the best thing you can do for her outside of kicking her mother in the head and askingher what her damage is.

i only read the first post, none of the responses... i think this is disgusting of the mother to try and force this on her child. even if the man is changing, the girl is only 15, and should not have to deal with this. she's too busy trying to grow up to ktry and forgive this horrible infarction on her person. she needs time, more than the mother is apparently willing to give. furthermore, the fact that the mother can forgive it so quickly says something about her care for the child. im not sure what state this is in, but sounds like she needs to divorce her parent if she's being forced to exist with a child molester. i realize you care for the whole family, and you should, but they werent victimized. take care of the 15 year old, be there for her as much as possible, and never judge any of them to their face, or they'll think they cant confide in you if something dispicable happens. i would suggest consulting a local attorney, or social worker... call dept of social services and inquire about the situation. i would even have the 15 year old go to them if it is possible. furthermore, the predator might seek one of the younger children now that he knows the 15 year old is strong enough to tell on him. do the younger ones realize the severity of the situation, or do they not know what happened? that can be very dangerous if they dont know they are in danger. just stay close to them, and dont seem like a threat to the boyfriend, or the mother might shut you out. be frank with the child, but be careful what you say, as it might get back to the mom. im sure the mom means well, but people can be blinded by affection, and she might not realize the danger she's putting the child in. be there for the mom, but the children come first. and i dont know these people, but the guy (even if he's trying not to be bad) can have a relapse at any stressful point... he doesnt need to be put in a tempting situation... this is so wrong

I knew there was a reason I liked you.

You're a wonderfully evil and devious person. A little public humiliation might do the trick with that guy.

Why not offer it as a temporary place while she pursues legal emancipation for herself?

I have a cousin that did that, because of the men her mother was always bringing home.

is this guy Vince a registered sex offender?

fuckdoll:yeah, he's a registered sex offender.
hexsass: that's my concern now, actually. the two younger ones. they aren't as aware. as for the 15 yr old, see below.
windigo and synikul: this is a place she can come to for even days on end, and she knows it. but as a permanent residence, as in changing her address and such, no. i'd let her stay here as long as she were pursuing a better place to live (via emancipation or simply a more valid place to live).

yeah, she's still a minor, contact social services if an attorney isn't free or within your price range

what state are you in again surreal...?

colorado.